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Letters to Myself



this is NOT a cry for melancholy,this is just a revelation.

Dear heart,
I appreciate everything you have done for me in the last 16 years of my life.You help me choose the right path when mind fails to do so.You humanize me.without you,i am dead inside.But right now,please..stop all these.you are badly wounded,and you are bleeding so badly that i don't think the scars will ever disappear.You are breaking too much,you are shattering into small bits and pieces.you are torn too much.how am i ever to heal you?i need you,heart.please stop what you are doing.stop hurting yourself,it's just not worth it.i don't deserve your sacrifice.your wounds are deep,and i can see that warm drippings from your eyes.i wish i could give you a hug,to comfort you with my inner warmth,the warmth you gave me each time i fail to return to my senses.i guess i was selfish,i gave up too much of you to him that right now,you are barely yourself anymore.i promise you,i will try to get that half back from him,somehow.it's tough,but it's worth a shot.i will do it for you heart,for you are more important than anyone else besides 'Mind'.i will do it heart,for now and always,i shall keep you unbreakable with all my might.

Dear mind,
what will i ever do without you?my world will go on spinning,and leave me helpless on the ground if you were to never exist.you have done a lot.you tell apart right from wrong,and you are my conscience and my only listener when others are not willing to do so.i might have been dead by now if it wasnt for you.thank you,for everything.thank you for healing me,and telling me that the world is much bigger than i think,and love is not the only thing that matters.but sometimes,i wonder why you can't give me answers to the questions i ask.you always have the key to evrything,but why are you and heart keeping things away from my knowledge?why are both of you hiding something from me?i know,both of you argued because of me.deep apology for that,i know that the both of you intend to give me the best.it makes me wonder sometimes.but it's ok,i hope you will keep me on my feet,and not let me stray too far.thank you for returning me to reality.

Dear love,
you always catch me off guard but this doesnt mean i hate you.i need you,just not right now.i think we should move in separate ways for awhile,no heart feelings?you add colours to my life,the bitter and the sweet of it.thank you,thank you,thank you.you are sweet,you are beautiful.knowing you is the most meaningful and memorable thing that ever happened to me.i ahve stumbled upon you many times,eventhough i wasnt looking for you.but right now,i need to realise that my hopes and dreams are not always going to come true.reality is not like heaven,but still,thanks for giving me dreams to look forward to everynight,and on every idle moments i have in one day.i need to vanish these dreams for the timing,we need to be away,to think things over and find a common path to walk together on.i'm sorry,i can't be selfish.i need you to know that dear Heart is ill,and Mind is trying her very best to find a perfect remedy to cure her.please love,find a way.for the sake of Heart.

Heart: may your wounds heal soon.
Mind : keep up the effort.
Love : Shall we meet again soon.

sincerely,
Yana ..
-the soul.
seeing,talking and touching him makes me happy,but why do these tears flow with every thoughts of him?