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Friday, April 30, 2010

And The Story Goes.. - Part 8



this week,on monday,from what i heard,carlos had gotten the major hint.the big question is did he understand the message derived from it?or did he totally ignore it despite having understood the whole situation? so many unanswered questions,so many uncertainties,i don't even know what to believe anymore.i doubt myself a lot lately,and sometimes i often question myself whether or not i've done the right thing or said what i actually meant?i don't know,i really don't.once again,i've confused myself,and i think everything is too surreal.the worst part is,my chemistry with harry,jasper and marlon is pretty much the cause of all the rumors circulating among my classmates who are still trying to find out about carlos and alex.most of them speculated that my status updates,all those cheesy sayings on my twitter and facebook,are all for harry considering i have this sort of bittersweet chemistry with him.yes it's true that i can't go through a day without arguing with him,whether he's the one who finds fault first or otherwise.and yes i do sometimes back him up whenever a problem surfaces or help him out,like the time when i supported his chair when he stood on it to get something from atop of the class billboard.it signifies nothing but pure,innocent friendship my fellow readers.i love helping people no matter who they are and no matter how much they annoy me.i help everyone,both girls or guys,regardless whether i know them well or not.jasper's case is he thinks i like him,lol.i'm not too sure whether he referred to me when he wrote something about someone admiring him on his blog.i was just kidding around about liking him and pretending to be his 'fanatical' admirer.the sports day thing,when i wanted to take pictures with him and beside him when we're in a group,those were just for laughs and it meant nothing.do you actually think i would do that if it was carlos? HECK NO.i find it hard to be myself around him,let alone to fool around.i wouldn't want him to think i'm desperate or plainly weird,i want him to see the best of me.i know how fake i can be sometimes,but i've no choice.i had to do it.and as for marlon,we're in the same club,so our chemistry is undoubtedly inevitable.it's either talking to him or talking to the girl who's utterly obsessed with ben.but truthfully,i enjoy the company of marlon.he's a fun guy and he likes the same kind of pc game as i do.he's really good at it,and i can't deny that i'm impressed by him.as a matter of fact,i enjoy the company of all of them,be it jasper,harry or marlon.yet it doesn't prove anything.the status updates are not dedicated to them no matter how much i love being friends with them.it's mainly for carlos and carlos alone.

Monday,7.30am
my oh my.i couldn't sit still.i was both eager and nervous,not because of our presentation,but because of the 'hint' that was expected to arrive today.i thought of how he would feel,how he would react and how he would interpret it.i don't know if he totally understood it or otherwise.any which way,it was awkward.there was no commotion and no one was making a fuss about him receiving it,which was actually a major relief.meanwhile,it seems to me that my girls have not been in the mood lately.our group is falling apart ever since that particular someone was practically being selfish when it comes to group projects.being the mature adult as we are,we didn't really want to argue.we gave her the indifferent treatment,and acted as if nothing happened.we still went out for recess together,but the intimacy's not there anymore.i talk with the rest of the girls including her,but the others don't seem to be amused by her presence.they look at it as if it's like an irritant substance that stops them from having optimum fun.i've been having my finger's crossed for weeks for things to turn back to normal.it seems to me that it's not getting any better.she angered most of the gang,and yes,we do not appreciate her newly-founded attitude.i hope she'll realize how much damage she had caused to our gang.

1.00pm
it's the moment of all revelations.God is such a great writer,He writes such good life stories and adventures.once again,i came into a heart VS mind conflict.it was all because of the position i was sitting at in the library.i was facing two tables,one facing carlos and the table behind him is where alex is.that was when the truth showed itself.it was alex's turn to do his oral test.he was timid and shy,so i could barely hear what he was saying.one thing for sure,he caught me staring at him.i blushed,but then i remembered,if he didn't stare at me first he wouldn't have caught me staring at him the first place right?that theory gave me the biggest sighs of relief.i shall make a confession,but i shall make a new post about it.

tuesday,around 7-8am
i was partly charmed seeing carlos singing 'Never Had Dream Come True' on stage eventhough him and his group sucked like big time,lol.but then i saw alex again,passing by.hello,fickle! i hate it when that happens.

8.00pm
Ling kept talking about alex,and regarding how he's always trying to get near us (acording to Ling,i'm not making any assumptions).Goodness knows his motives,we decided not to stalk him further.meanwhile,ling's growing emotions for jordan (lee min ho lookalike) is getting partly out of hand,but at the same time extremely sweet! it's actually pretty cool to hear about someone else's love story for a change.at least i'd know i'm not the only one hoping :)sometimes,a particular someone often makes you upset just because you're single (this is a general statement,strictly not aimed to anyone).you'll sometimes feel unwanted and unworthy while in truth it's the fact that you haven't found the other half that fits you just yet.ben,on the other hand,is still trying his very best to get my attention.when will he ever learn that i'm plainly uninterested to befriend someone who harassed me ever since i first set foot in the school?

Wednesday 1.00pm
Newton's Law Race! nizar and i didn't really study,we practically read whatever we could in the shortest period of time.it was heck a lot of fun.the best part was constructing and launching the water rocket.we had to struggle,it turned out our launcher was defective,so we had to switch with jasper's team who managed to do it ahead of us.but one of the highlights of the race is carlos's presence.it didn't mean that much to me.i wasn't sure why i'm not as happy to see him.i didn't get the feeling of excitement to have him around,i don't know why.

Thursday,around 3-6pm
computer club meeting wasn't as boring as i had expected.sitting beside creepy anne wasn't really creepy when marlon showed up.first he was talking about another pc fair in august,and somehow,the conversation dragged us into a topic i don't usually focus on,pc games.nerdy,i know but admittedly,some games are pretty nifty if you ask me,like resident evil for instance.marlon preferred Left 4 Dead 2,it's also a zombie-slaying game but with double the adventure.it was funny how long i conversation lasted,usually i find it hard to talk to guys if i'm not that close to them.well marlon,he's alright.pretty fun to be with AS A FRIEND.then during basketball,there was a match between harry's oversized team and carlos's vertically challenged team,obviously the former won by 16-0.i'm beginning to like carlos less and less upon discovering how much of an asshole he had been to his friends just because of a small matter.i don't know,i just don't know how i feel anymore.

Friday,9.00pm
i miss Ah Loke,form what i heard,he had gotten food poisoning and had been admitted to the hospital.i hope he'll be alright.so as i was waiting for mr ben's class to begin,it's a must for ling and i to gossip about the utmost interesting part of our lives,our love stories,whether unrequited or unknown.i told ling about my emotions,and she told me not to force my heart to love someone i don't.indeed,she was right.i turned behind to have a glance of alex,but immediately blushed and turned back infront when i saw that he was staring right at me.when i turned left,as ling told me to,he was there,only inches away from me,talking to his friend.oh dear God..this is how much effect an eye contact has on someone i love.i trembled and got extremely nervous,but then Ling reminded me ,'he may caught you staring at him,but only because he was staring at you first'.good point. :D

to be continued...

Friday, April 23, 2010

And The Story Goes.. - Part 7



why am i being fickle again?i'm beginning to think that people really believe the 'me liking hazem' crap.it's shitty how a rumor can turn out so real in their eyes.also,i think carlos is beginning to understand how i feel,and it's pretty bad that most of the girls had already known the truth.i should've told them something else but heck.bottling things up is just not me,unfortunately.i've changed a lot lately,from outgoing to shy,from being unathletic to being a superduper enthusiastic basketball player.many things had changed lately.believe it or not,i've became less of a lazy procrastinator and more to a hardworking nerd.some of it is a good sign,while others might just signify the typical things when facing the coming of age.the only thing that remains the same is the 'falling in love' part.this week had been hectic and as usual,my emotions are nothing but a roller coaster ride ever since i've found out the truth about this whole illusion.i think alex is just the starting point to all my lovey-dovey emotions.the real deal here now is carlos.i don't particularly know how carlos suddenly surfaced in this story,but what i'm very certain of is it must have been the day he added me on FB ages ago.i was wondering who he was.i added most of my classmates on FB,and there he was,sending me a friend request.i was puzzled,as he didn't use his real name on FB,and his default pictures didn't help me much on figuring out who he is either.i've been asking around,and they told me it was carlos.again,i went on a quest,this time,to find out which one of the guys is carlos.it took me months till i found the right person.our first eye to eye meeting wasn't really as what i expected.he was playfully punching,kicking and laughing with my classmates.his boyish traits,admittedly,is pretty adorable.truthfully,the little crush started with nizar influencing me to see all his good side in comparison to alex (who,as i was told back then,is already taken).in the process of 'moving on',my friends attempted to lessen my pain by matchmaking me with carlos,since he appeared thrice whenever i tried the 'Lover Of The Day' application on FB.how about that,from 'lover of the day' to 'potential lover for eternity'?cutesy much? perhaps.the series of events that occurred this week are like major leaps from one stairway to another.

Tuesday,7.20pm
i was talking to Ling about alex,and on the other hand,Ling was talking about her new crush who looks a little bit like Lee Min Ho (whom i don't really know if it wasn't for my korean-drama addicted friends) when alex suddenly walked in.i was walking towards the second row when i saw him standing still,looking for a seat,in the same row as mine! surprisingly,i wasn't bothered when Ling told me that he tried to catch a glimpse of me when i didn't notice.Ling was really proud of me,to say the very least.

Wednesday,around 10.30am-1.00pm
there was this extremely useful talk on how to write a spectacular BM essay with a lecturer (i suppose).he looked boring at first,but eventually his talks got more and more interesting to the extent where the Skor A programme,despite the expensive price,is going to be attended by quite a number of students.during the talk,i had a good view of carlos.i think it's true,i have fallen for him instead.it's too good to be true,but it truly is.

Thursday,4.30pm
after that long,miserable 1 and a half hours of listening to this psychotic girl who's practically obsessed with ben's brother (the major asshole) till i missed the movie they were playing called "Stomp the Yard" (ooohh my chris brown <3..LOL)...i finally moved on to the basketball court,only to find that i was too early.only the boys were there,including carlos.again,i got to witness his amazing skills,in spite of all the airballs he threw,LOL.nonetheless,he beats the rest except for the unbeatable wong chun hoong,mr captain of the team.a couple of moments later,the girls gathered and we had half of the court to ourselves.we learnt a new skill,side shooting.tricky at first,but once you get used to it,it's a piece of cake.all you need is a perfect aim,a little tinge of stamina,flexibility and of course,accuracy.coincidently,carlos passed by when it was my turn to try out my skills.the ball miraculously went into the net,so the girls applauded,joking about how carlos is my lucky charm,shishh...the basketball club meeting ended at 6,but i stayed for another half hour to have our own little match with the boys: zufar,fadhli,random form 3 dude and a few others.nizar once again succeeded in getting my hopes up,saying that carlos had been looking at our direction each time his team was taking a break.

Friday,8.00am
Has any of you heard of the malaysian traditional game called 'Baling Selipar'?for those who have,it does bring about the old times doesn't it?it's been ages since i last played/witnessed someone played this game.the catch is to form a pyramid by using three slippers,breaking them apart,and chasing each other around.it was so much fun.we went against KAA1,then V-comel 1 and Hoopers.we lost and came in 2nd place.however,it was undeniably an unforgettable experience.carlos participated too,but his team wasn't lucky enough to even pass the first round.how i wish i could've played for his team too,at least i could contribute something.once the game ended,nizar and i rushed to a particular block to settle a particular unfinished business.i can't say much about it,let's just say the business has something to do with taking the next step. :) let us see what happens.

to be continued.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Birthday Of A Rock Legend



it's april 18th,officially,in Malaysian timezone (8+) that is.do you know what that means? it's Mark Tremonti's birthday! FYI,he's one of my biggest influence in music despite him playing a different kind of rock compared to mine.he's my second most favourite guitarist after billie joe armstrong from green day.creed is awesome,not only music wise,but also in terms of their lyrics.it may sound more to the gospel side,but if you read between the lines,it's mainly humanity and not Christianity.undeniably,we can say creed's music is able to shake the world in the strength of the guitar riffs (by mark tremonti),the deep vocals by scott stapp,the thundering bass and the roaring drumbeats.since the first time i heard 'My Sacrifice',i knew this band was something,and will always be something.

so...HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARK! you've inspired me so much with your quotes and guitarist philosophies.may i become a legend just like you :')

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Interview with Alex Luthor?



upon reading the title,you must be thinking "Leanna Scarlet has gone nuts" or "Leanna Scarlet is finally facing her fears and talking to him".sorry to burst your bubbles but i wasn't the one who did the interview.it's a friend of mine,a BFF as a matter of fact,who was daring enough to do it.how did she do it?it was a normal conversation,she talked casually to him and has gotten a LOT of information.little did Alexander Luthor know that she had her phone on voice recorder mode and made it look like she was sending text messages to someone.during the brief 2-part clip,she managed to reveal the other side of Alex Luthor,the one that Lana might or might never see,ever.it has definitely changed her perception about Alex.due to copyright restrictions (not really.i didn't want it to be that obvious) the conversation shall remain private and confidential.it's getting clear to me that it's a one-sided feeling and i shouldn't take it seriously.it's the fun of it that matters,the thrill of revealing clue by clue,only to discover that in the end,it doesn't matter.i guess that's what puppy love is all about.it spices up your life.nothing more,nothing less.it's just a crush,nothing more.

that's all for now. hehe.

much love,gotta get back to my homework now.toodles.

Friday, April 16, 2010

And The Story Goes.. - Part 6



it's getting out of hand,majorly.all the smiling,all the daydreaming,how much more overrated can this situation be?"i'm in denial" perhaps.i listen to people too much,and i stopped listening to my heart.that's what God showed to me in this episode.so many events yet there's so many things that i feel the need of hiding from everyone's knowledge.nevertheless,i shall not suppress myself from the freedom of speech in my own blog.i thought it was over,what's past is past and it's about time i moved on.heck no,it so happened that i failed.i disappointed myself and yes,i'm not ok.

Monday,7.20am
it was all fine until i started seeing alex all out of a sudden.i think he's starting to notice that i avoid his path.also,he keeps staring at me,as though expecting me to come up to him and explain the real scenario.he seemed confused and curious at the same time.i sped up my pace and walked straight ahead before he could see me.he was then out of sight.it was a major relief until he appeared in the place i least expected,the place where all publicity begins.it was a gruesome act,attempting to look elsewhere and concentrate on the so-called more important things.clearly pathetic.the rest of the day was perfectly normal.probably because ben was absent so i had no one to hide from.haha.

Tuesday,around 9.00am
i don't really know what's going on with the girls.they talk to each other,but only about important things.we do sit together,but somehow it's like they're keeping secrets from one another.it hurts to stay in the center,not knowing a single thing regarding an unknown incident that's starting to tear us all apart.whatever it is,i sure hope it's going to end soon.we don't seem to be agreeing on anything lately?on a more cheerful note,we did a lot of walking today and what amused nizar and i the most is the sight of carlos and a bunch of other students sitting on a row of chairs OUTSIDE the class.they must've forgotten to do their homework or something.however,i do admit i did sympathize carlos a little bit.if only i could bail him out by helping him do his homework at the very last minute (since it's my forte',lol).funny,he tried to cover up his face from being seen by us.embarrassed much? don't be.people make mistakes and it's totally understandable :)

10.30am
the girls were back to normal,somehow,and started talking and kidding around with each other again.it was all cool.we walked back to our class,only to find carlos walking on the second floor.i have this inevitable bad habit of staring at people,which i think MUST be prevented as soon as possible as of now.carlos stared back,smiling.i assume he was talking to his friend about something,and randomly decided to look downstairs where he stared back at me.ironic,he doesn't have that same 'glow' in his eyes and i didn't really feel as nervous/anxious as i was supposed to feel whenever i have feelings for someone.am i just pretending to like him?*no lana,pull yourself together! you've moved on and that's that.*

Thursday,around 8-9 am
the more i try to throw the feeling away,the more it comes.it's driving me nuts.today,alex entered my class,supposedly to warn us of a spot check.i don't know why,i thought i'm over it but clearly i'm not.i was all nervous and speechless.i started pulling nizar here and there,in my most pathetic attempt to avoid him at all causes.it was stupid,really.i shouldn't have done that.the same scene occurred immediately after school.one word,one overused word as a matter of fact,PATHETIC.

5.30pm
i waited eagerly for nizar to come and have a friendly game of basketball with me despite the club meeting being called of.she was late,since she was actually hanging out with my classmates at MCD.fortunately deila was there to entertain me,haha.i can't elaborate much here,it would be too obvious :P all i can say is carlos was there and deila speculated that i suddenly got totally into basketball because of him (which was,admittedly,partially true..PARTIALLY true).

Friday,12.15pm
it's proven.my life is hypocritical.i repeatedly denied the fact that alex was always trying to catch a glimpse of me,assuming the fact that my friends are practical jokers who love to see me blush.i don't know what to believe anymore.all i can say is que sera sera.i don't have luck in love,and someday i just have to accept that.it's either i'm being too choosy or i'm just plainly butt ugly.either way,let us just wait and see.

to be continued...

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Basketball Fever

basketball,the next best thing.believe it or not,i came to love this game because of this old 90s movie called Space Jam,starring the Loony Tunes and my hero,Michael Jordan.since then,i started getting addicted to the NBAs,not missing any games and started playing on my own with my brothers.we even have our own basketball net,hoop and ball.



also,have i mentioned that my dream guy should be a basketballer? hehe.i fell for benjamin joshua (an indonesian actor) for his basketball skills and acting ,partly looks.i don't know why,i find basketballers rather appealing other than guitarists.probably because they remind me so much of my pure childhood.it's the innocence and strength.



SLAMDUNK!

nite for now.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Mika In Midvalley?



that text message from my ate sher almost made me shriek and leap off my seat in excitement! she said it was all over channel E,Mika's coming to Midvalley this Tuesday! i'm still waiting for details and confirmations though.i heard that he's not exactly gonna tour malaysia,he's just paying a visit.it's a part of his 'break' i assume? LOL.either that or maybe my little 'malaysia shouldn't be on the untoured country list' indirect propaganda through the BIOTG Event had actually worked.

i have my fingers crossed.i hope it's not a joke.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Gays Over Flower

read the convos and you shall know.hahah...







it all started when we made a convo about 5 active couples getting married (blame social interview).imagine their faces reading these,haha.

And The Story Goes.. - Part 5



"lana,i've got bad news.." a little sneak peek of what will happen in this episode.meanwhile,on sunday,it was just like any other ordinary days when i would go online for the last time in the week before i stick to my vow of a five-day internet self-restriction bla bla bla..i wrote a status on facebook regarding how easily i fall for some whom i realise that i will never be with,EVER.nizar's comment on it was absolutely an eyecatcher.she said alex and i are equally egoistic and we're not getting anywhere if none of us make the first move.so..somehow,i stupidly got myself into a major mess: i was dared to say 'hi' to him randomly until he responds,lest i wanna treat nizar and syira nasi lemak for lunch.demmit,i can't let myself down.I'M GONNA DO IT!! it's now or never,i thought to myself.

Monday,10.30am
hahahah.. this was so silly.syira suddenly got involved with the bet,and now i had the pressure of having to treat TWO PEOPLE for lunch if i lose! time was running out,we passed alex's classroom,and someone called him out.i gathered up all my guts and tried to walk to the frontdoor where he was supposedly going out from.however,as expected,i chickened out.i might stutter due to the overwhelming amount of pressure,so i preferred not to.almost losing the bet,syira and nizar sympathized me so they decided to give me two more chances,one before the tutorial and the other on thursday,during basketball practice.

2.30pm
the moment of truth.we came out of the tutorial class.this was my last chance.i'm not gonna mess up,i thought to myself.everyone went home.all of us waited for alex to come outside.we reached the stairs when we noticed a cat,in such a bad and pitiful condition.i went to see it,not noticing who the person standing beside me was.when i turned,i almost jumped when i realized that it was alex.i went down the stairs as i feared that he might see how much i have trembled.the girls were unsatisfied,so they asked me to try again.in the not-so-dark hallway leading to the form 5 block,i was walking alone with nizar when we bumped into nana and fizha.i fulfilled the task! but nizar was too busy talking,so i was slightly out of my mind.i got excited and repeatedly asked whether or not she heard me saying hi to alex.unfortunately she didn't! instead fizha heard the whole thing and she started shouting my name and calling alex! i walked off,hoping that she would come to her senses and stop her utter nonsense! i have never been so pissed in my entire life! ok i have,but that was so long ago.

Tuesday,7.25pm
i avoided the boys and girls form alex's class,for fear that they might've already known my secret.i tried my best to repel any forms of 'i know something that i shouldn't know about you' eye contacts with any one,anywhere any how.it was freaky how carlos and zieda looked at me earlier today.it's like they know something.nevertheless,i brushed the feelings off and walked into class where ben was even more daring than usual.he strayed from his gang just so he could sit near me.i was between ling and the small lane that separates me from ben.he's trying too hard,really.the harder he tries,the more annoying he gets.the funny part is when Ling whispered to me 'awwh king kong's trying too hard' and ben TOTALLY HEARD IT! we laughed all the way through the class in embarrassment.

Wednesday,around 8.00am
picture day! a day when everyone suddenly cares about how they look,how they dress,the way they smile and how they should pose.deila brought a couple of stuff from hongkong for the spontaneous shot.it was all cool. (pictures will be up soon enough.Miss on was super cute! :P some dude brought a guitar to school (or did it belong to the photographer?) and so the boys tried it out.eventually hazem and the gang called me and requested me to play the guitar for them.it was all cool until ben showed up,i pretended to not know how to play and avoided him all the way.

10.30am
i don't exactly know what ben wants from me in any way? he sat with us during recess and waited for me and nizar to come out from the office.shish...it's too creepy.on a sadder note..ily made such a statement 'lana,i've got bad news..he's taken and still is' .well,there goes my feelings for Lex.when u gotta move on,u just gotta do so.maybe nizar's right.i should consider carlos?

Thursday,5.00pm
BASKETBALL!! i've always been looking forward for it.we had a little match.at first it was just syira,nizar,fiza and i against a few teams.ily went to finish up her work,while deila broke her nail.we had a little hoop shootout when they started kidding around about me missing the hoops when carlos passed by.when deila came into the game,we had to go against a much underestimated arab-speaking team.they looked like a bunch of cabbages but it turned out that they fought like a bunch of batalions! i ended up injuring myself,shitty...my thighs we crammed and i had to be replaced.nevertheless,WE WON!
when all the girls went home,it was only nizar and me conquering the second half of the court,playing Shoot or Dare.it was a bit suckish as we had to share the court with the sepak takraw players.gradually,the boys came pouring into our side of the court and took the ball from us.we had a little game with them (which made us look even more like total noobs when we couldn't even get a chance to touch the ball).we were also confused of who's in whose team.all in all,the sweetest moment that i could highlight is of course,the part when i was once again dared by nizar,this time to snatch the ball from carlos.damn,that guy's awesome! too fast for me,he was spinning all over with the ball,but in the end,he gave me the ball politely and played with the other one.how sweet ~ score 1 for carlos!

nothing happened on friday though.it was a plain and ordinary day.i wonder if anything's gonna happen tomorrow at school? let's wait and see.

to be continued..

Friday, April 2, 2010

And The Story Goes.. - Part 4



another week,another episode and it never gets old.reality and drama are so far apart.drama is planned and written beforehand,whereas reality is as spontaneous as can be.this whole week was so full of stories and moments to be shared.

Monday,7.30am
where is he? i looked all over for him but to no avail.what a bad day,i thought to myself.but WAIT! isn't that him?he came,despite the presence of the dreaded invigilators,he did his duty.it was charming.he has such leadership.

10.00am
this was when the funny part came along.we had gym class before recess so all of us decided to grab a bite before we changed into our normal school uniforms.talk about awwwwwwwwwwwkkkward.i went out of the class and waited for Nizar to come out.just then,my eyes were staring into the next class where they too were preparing to go out for recess.unpredictably,alex appeared from the backdoor of his class.we had a brief eye-to-eye moment before he strangely walked back into his class using the FRONTDOOR,which was actually nearer to me.finally,Nizar came out and we were ready to go for recess.once again,Alex was acting really weird.he leaned against the wall near the stairs and just stared at nizar and me.i knew he wanted to say hi to Nizar,which was actually supposed to be normal,as far as i know,but the thing is,he didn't.he looked speechless.but i do admit he had this beautiful shimmer in his eyes.

Tuesday,7.25pm
Ling was once again excited to prove to me that she knew which one alex was.we turned behind and there he was,coincidently the both of us were wearing blue.the beauty vanished when ben appeared and suddenly wanted to sit in front,nearer to me.it was hell.luckily mr Zeelen decided to brainwash us instead of teach,otherwise i might have attention span issues.

8.25pm
it was a horror.i saw ben harassing a girl whom he sat beside of.i wanted to make my escape but once again,the elevator was against me.i wanted to run down the stairs but it was too dark.i prayed and prayed hard that ben wouldn't do anything to me in the elevator,and THANK GOD HE DIDN'T.however,his gang was a bit psychotic.they gradually followed everywhere i went.scary in a way but since alex was there,what the heck..haha

Wednesday,1.00pm
we were having some girl talk,enjoying our fish satay as alex appeared out of nowhere.at first he was really far away from us,so i managed to catch a glimpse or two of him and my friends understood me.just then,as we were talking,Nizar randomly looked behind me and laughed.i turned to where she was looking at,only to find that alex was behind me all along,doing funny faces to tease Nizar.i admit,i was a bit jealous, (still am).he then talked to two girls from his class.just then,how i wished i was one of those two girls.pathetic but true.i thought he was going to walk away but clearly he didn't.instead of going to his friends,he leaned against the wall near to my gang.even before the tutorial (which he obviously skipped with carlos)he acted weird when he saw me.no assumptions just yet,i'm just saying..

Thursday,1.00pm
i didn't see him the whole day,except for several encounters,nothing extraordinary thus far.since my mom wasn't home,we decided to have a little secret feast of our own.the girls came with me home and cooked maggi! ily did a great job,the rest of the girls did good setting the table up.we had so much fun till my mom suddenly came home,LOL~ we didn't get into toruble fortunately.we cleaned up a little and went back to school for maths tutorial.it was funny how everyone was so competitive over a small maths task.

5.30pm
it kept on raining and raining.we got utterly frustrated by the not so favourable weather.all of us expected to play basketball but instead we were made to listen to talks regarding basketball.it sucks,big time! however,we managed to penetrate the teachers by going out through the backdoor,and shooting some hoops in the rain.when the heavy rain subsided,we were joined by the boys.this was when Nizar told me to return to my rightful state of mind and observe Carlos.he's perfect in every single way,gorgeous smile,slight dimples,athletic body cutout,a basketball player and he's a pretty nice guy too.he was flexible enough to do flips and tricks to enhance his basketball shooting skills,it was really artistic in a way.nevertheless,Carlos is perfect but he's not for me.Lex owns my heart and there's nothing we can do about it.emotions can't be forced,especially love.that's why you call it 'falling' in love and no one forces themselves to fall.i don't know what went through my mind,Carlos just isn't the right one.

Friday,9.30am
how humiliating.we didn't have much time to prepare for the EST presentation,and no,i refuse to elaborate here.it was the last straw for me.i went through a sudden emotional breakdown.i rushed into the toilet when no one was looking as my tears were pouring down.i have so many concrete reasons to react as such that i didn't even realise how my emotions took control of my actions.i skipped class and wandered around.i had to create an excuse to let myself off the hook and it worked.i felt guilty for lying though,and a bit hungry for skipping breakfast.i was more depressed than i am hungry.before heading home,i met up with my very own emotional antidote,Alexander Luthor,who just had to stand there and work his miracles.at a blink of an eye,my depression vanished and what's left was the smile on my face as i walked home.

to be continued...if there is anymore continuation that is.

Al Fatihah to Din Beramboi

بِسْمِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيم


ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ
ٱلْعَـٰلَمِينَ * ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ * مَـٰلِكِ يَوْمِ ٱلدِّينِ
إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وَ إِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ * ٱهْدِنَا ٱلصِّرَ ٰط
ٱلْمُسْتَقِيمَ * صِرَ ٰطَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ غَيْرِ
ٱلْمَغْضُوبِ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلاَ ٱلضَّاۤلِّينَ

al fatihah to him.my favourite stand-up act and morning crew from era.such a big loss,such big talent.may Allah bless his soul.