would it be out of line if i say that I miss you?as overrated as can be,life has been nothing but hectic and intense.i've been in such a huge amount of stress lately that something happened to me...my emotions shut down themselves last night! no,it's not a meltdown,more of a blackout.seriously,i've felt this way before but never this long.it's a sense of being emotionless,neither feeling happy nor sad.i had a straight face the whole day,not even Jasper's retarded jokes could make me laugh.the only laughter i had was completely fake and forced out of me.i felt like a cyborg,waiting to terminate any homo sapiens that question my authority in my own life decisions,lol.it's really weird,it must have been all the projects i'm forced to do.i hate deadlines really,they give you some sort of pressure whenever it approaches you,especially when you dislike what you have to do.this week,i had to finish up not one but TWO projects,the EST invention and the additional maths folio.the folio has been taken care of,but the invention..oh gosh..all i can say is,shopping for materials at about 4 hardware stores had already driven me up the wall,let alone doing the works! it's major torture.i don't think it's such a good idea to do a medical checkup now,considering how high my blood pressure would probably be right now.need to equalize...sigh... *deep breath*.... i'll be having long weeks and days,studying and trying to prove myself worthy.it's worth a shot,what have i got to lose?so what if my exam results don't turn out as predicted,i still have my trials coming up,for that,i won't be around as much.even if i do,i'll come online after everything's been settled,by means of studying.i'll try not to depend too much on tips anymore,time has come for me to change myself.
and to my dear beloved marc anthony,i'll wait for you,i'll wait even a thousand years until you open the doors for me.i'll keep my presence a secret.
"Show me a garden that's bursting into life.. All that I am,all that I ever was,is here in you perfect eyes,that's all I can see.." - Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
