Friday, May 27, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge

 Everyone's doing it on facebook but on my friend list,my buddy Kin Yen started it,then i spread the virus to everyone's the deal,everyday i gotta remember to post a song on facebook based on particular rules.

day 01 - my favorite song : She's a Rebel - Green Day

day 02 - least fav song : Firework - katy perry
day 03 - song that makes me happy : touches you - mika
day 04 - song that makes me sad : ice dance - danny elfman
day 05 - a song that reminds me of someone : halusinasi - MUH
day 06 - a song that reminds me of somewhere : Cancion Del Mariachi - Antonio Banderas feat Los Lobos
day 07 - a song that reminds me of a certain event : I'm With You - Avril Lavigne
day 08 - a song that i know all the words to : I'll Be - Edwin McCaine
day 09 - a song that i can dance to : You're The One That I Want - Grease
day 10 - a song that makes me fall asleep : Selamat Malam - Faizal Tahir
day 11 - a song from my favorite band :My Sacrifice - Creed
day 12 - a song from a band i hate : Silly Lily - Bunkface
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure : East Jesus Nowhere - Green Day
day 14 - a song that no one would expect me to love : Green Tamborine - Robert Goulet
day 15 - a song that describes me : This Is Me - Skye Sweetnam
day 16 - a song that i used to love but now hate : Only Exception - Paramore
day 17 - a song that i hear often on the radio : Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri
day 18 - a song that i wish i heard on the radio : Number One - Skye Sweetnam
day 19 - a song from my favorite album : American Idiot - Green Day
day 20 - a song that i listen to when i'm angry : I Don't Care - Fallout Boy
day 21 - a song that i listen to when i'm happy : Grace Kelly - Mika
day 22 - a song that i listen to when i'm sad : Will You Be There - Michael Jackson
day 23 - a song that i want to play at my wedding : I Want To Spend My Lifetime Loving You - Marc     Anthony feat Tina Arena
day 24 - a song that i want to play at my funeral : Ha Ha You're Dead - Green Day
day 25 - a song that makes me laugh : Friendly Good Bye - Bowling For Soup
day 26 - a song that i can play on an instrument : Marabahaya - Pop Shuvit
day 27 - a song that i wish i could play : Story Of A Girl - Nine Days
day 28 - a song that makes me feel guilty : Perfect - Simple Plan
day 29 - a song from my childhood  : Lemon Tree - Fools Garden
day 30 - my favorite song at this time last year : You Won - Jennifer Chung

yeah i know,i have a strange musical taste. u guys should try this,let's see who backs out first ;)

Monday, May 23, 2011

Emotionally Slapped Time & Time Again

i think i have blogged about this before,many a time as a matter of's just that my passion in using gibberish language might have made it less obvious.right now,i'm terming it as an 'emotionally slapped' situation.a little enlightenment : it's a sensation similar to when one gets a tight slap,but not literally, that can either cause temporary pain or welcome an epiphany or both.either way,it hurts and can sometimes be embarrassing.lately i've been encountering a lot of this,be it with my friends,my ex and my old-new crushes.they affect me emotionally,and the mark may reappear anytime it desires.sometimes i wish i was born heartless and invincible of any kinds of humanly hurts when you get hurts when you disintegrate inside.

i might feel this way knowing that my friends are no longer there to support me,i don't blame them.they have other matters to attend to,and it relates to their future.

the bitter truth,as much as i hate to admit,i'm lonely and empty gets boring sometimes,music and writing are my only friends this time round.i thank god for creating art,at least my creative juice won't go to waste.Love?not now.i have too many things on my plate,i need a rehab from it all.

might also be the fact that i'm worried of my own future.sure,academically i can cope up with the current syllabus in uni,but financially i'm broke.i don't know why am i taking one of the biggest risks in my life.i jeopardized my own future for the sake of gaining new experiences,i do hope i'm making the right choice.i doubt there's any way to withdraw from this's a matter of you walk on or you die.i'm not Paris Hilton,i can't just live life the way i want to.i took this route therefore i shall go on and on,even if it is like balancing myself on a thin rope without any safety nets.i'll do it,i bear all my guts and will with my arms,and hope to be a winner,or at least,a martyr in my own battle.

I wanna be the minority :)

Friday, May 20, 2011

[insert name] went from "in a relationship" to "in an open relationship".

Esah Ezral likes this.

LOL! that's because she seems to be the only one who comprehends the whole concept of be perfectly honest,i'm not good in this relationship game,i always encounter a win or lose situation,followed by a temporary glory then an unexpected defeat.there's no win-win situation when it comes to matters relating to the heart,and of course,be it a one-sided or a mutual one,i'll always be the one screwing up.this is why i decided to bungee jump myself into the conclusion that maybe i'm not fated to be with anyone (at the mo).notice the word BUNGEE before the word 'Jump'.i can always rebound from my little theory,after all,rules ARE made to be broken aite?i might be right and i might also be wrong.

"In an Open Relationship" basically means someone is currently seeing a particular individual,who may or may not have been holding on to his/her heart but is in the 'potential list'.let's put it this way,the relationship is still in its trial period,and both parties are just getting to know each strings attached just yet,and if they're not happy together,they can always go for other dates with other people.some may look at this the negative way,considering how it seems like you're trying to be a player or worst still,assume that you have a fear for commitments.however,in another way,it's beneficial because they have wider options and will be able to analyze more characters before they meet their magic man/lady.relationships don't just work with two people having similar feelings for each other,it's way more complicated than that.sure,you may like him/her today so much that all their flaws remain invisible to you,but imagine,what if reality strikes you in the ass?how will you react?what if that person is not what meets the eye?is it too late to back out?i was happy with my choice of withdrawing from my so-called dream guy.we're just not meant for each other,and i'm glad i came to that realization soon enough.i may be blamed for being too choosy,i should realize that Mr Perfect just doesn't man can ever fulfill ALL the requirements in a girl's list.BUT this is a good way of seeing the picture,widening my horizon in a sense that i'll understand life better and will finally meet my prince.i don't expect him to be perfect,all i want is a shoulder to channel all my problems to and to share all my hopes and joys with.i've met too many self-centered gentlemen who refuse to understand how busy i can get sometimes.i DON'T want you to be clingy,it shows how insecure you are.i just need someone to talk to,someone who would actually listen to my words rather than my voice,someone who empathizes me without the need of explaining to them in detail,THAT's my Mr Right.

Perhaps CJ does have a point,i should look for someone older than me.hmmmm... any takers? HAHAH.kidding,am not that desperate.

i didn't know Adrienne Nesser's Lebanese?

wonder when will I have my own Billie Joe? hihi.

Flap Your Wings and Fly

wow,i've abandoned this blog for AGES,reason being my tight schedule and lack of excitement in life.time has come for me to write something down now that i'm inspired
can you believe that we're 18? can you believe that we've reached the age we've always wanted to be?can you believe we're actually gonna be facing (or in my case,already facing) the hyped out college life we've been overly-informed of when we were under-aged? this is it people.UPSR was total BS,PMR was meant to scare you,SPM was an actual beginning and THIS,is what we call the real shit.this is our future,it determines whether or not we will get to live our dreams and aspirations.notice how everyone's venturing to different paths?there's no such thing as learning unnecessary stuff anymore(unless you're going for matriculation programs,i'm talking foundation or diploma here) and no more copying your friend's homework.all the attitudes we used  to have in school need to be discarded and substituted with new's a whole different environment,believe you me,even though my uni is only half an hour from my house,i still feel the different atmosphere's more or less the same,be it private or public.

we had a farewell party today (this time it was for them,not me).it was hella fun despite not having everyone turn up.i couldn't say much,i might just end up crying out the held back tears.i'm fighting this emotion,i want all my best friends to hard as it is for me to let them go their own ways,far from home,i have to remain's their future and their choices,i need to respect that.sure,i'll miss them,but we all have to go separate ways in one way or another one day.all i can say is,good luck and strive for the best! i love you guys,and i'll miss you a heap.make us proud.may we meet again someday,with everyone having a Degree in their hands!

 the only pic from my phone that turned out nice, -.-'
 i'll especially miss you.there's not a secret we keep from each other :')

 LOL ~~ nice choice of colors :D

idk why i love this one so much.

Friday, May 6, 2011


"i always feel like God is toying me around at times,poking me all over with his playful smite and sarcastic jokes." 

i tweeted this earlier today in uni,a little controversial for those who can't understand,but people,try to read between the lines,and you'll find sense in it.indeed,sometimes i feel like I'm being made a fool out of by God,probably because He wants to test my patience and how much have I grown out of my 17-year-old self.i don't know if He actually has fun doing this,i'm not.clearly,quoting the late but never forgotten Joash Wee,"I've aged,dreadfully." certainly,literally my age is increasing,my face is indicating that I'm older than I actually am,though I have yet to age in terms of height and mentality.perhaps i think too much,i don't seem to be standing on solid ground lately and i find myself dozing off almost too's a problem,a tremendous one.God is testing me too much with worries and confusions.i'm worried about my future.i'm worried what would become of it if i end up not getting a scholarship,will there be anything to cover the education costs of my degree?money's not the only issue,but emotions as well.i've grown a little too attached to Mr Stalker.for some reason,it's fated that we'd be together in a group under any circumstances,even though it's a group that the lecturers decide for us.nothing seems to keep us apart,except for occasional groupings.we're even in the same isn't fair.sure,he's cute,he's a musician and we can practically spend hours alone together and all,but this soon?HELL NO.i'm neither shallow nor desperate life is better off when I'm NOT in a relationship.the big deal is,God seems to create him as a person who does all the things that turn me on: randomly biting his lips while he talks,and speaking with a soft tone.i've learned my lesson,NEVER AGAIN.enough is enough with this so-called 'crush' thing.crush evolves to love,and love revolutionizes into either heartbreaks or happiness,either way,the friendship will end if it doesn't work out.i don't want to risk that anymore.
let 'T' be the first and last case.

Sunday, May 1, 2011


oh wow,there i go again.i ditched my blog to live a hectic college student about being too busy to bother tracking down events of my life,lol.i still feel the need of doing it considering my visible and anonymous blog followers will surely demand updates on a fortnightly basis at least.there were far too many happenings lately,so i figure maybe i should just list down a few of them?this is it,starting with the most recent ones to the older ones:

#1: first drumming attempt:

well  i didn't exactly learn any proper songs,it's just a random beat i invented on an online virtual drumset of which i then transferred to a proper drumset during jam session. no big deal. my first drumming experience is surprisingly better than my first guitar experience.hmmmm :)

#2: Taylor's World Class Scholarship Interview
it caught me off guard.i didn't expect to be among the shortlisted candidates considering the tremendous amount of applicants with results either better or equivalent as mine,thank Heavens i was chosen.the drawback was the fact that i got the news a little too close to the actual date that i didn't have time to do a mock interview with the career council :S  the whole interview went well nevertheless,although i actually had a little misunderstanding with the financial and bursary unit regarding the list of things i should have brought.questions asked were really general (and,might i say,cliche' ones) like : tell me about yourself,describe yourself in one word and why,why we chose Taylor's etc.i didn't stutter and i've gotten thousands of tips from the it's time to wait for an update if i were to move on to the next stage of the interview.

#3: Musical Contribution:
YES! i think i've tweeted this before.i will be a part (if not major) of a song project with one of my favourite local bands since childhood.i won't elaborate much yet,let's wait till it happens :)

#4: My First Auto Car Driving experience
Never in my life have i felt so punk driving an auto car in an unfamiliar area at night WITHOUT 'P' stickers pasted on either side of the windscreens.if it wasn't for me driving in a housing area,we would've been was hell of a traumatizing was also without the knowledge of my family.i'm so dead if they find out,lol.let's just be glad i'm alive to tell the tale and hide the deep,dark secret aite.

i guess that's about it.i'll update more soon :)