Sunday, November 6, 2011

I'm Gonna Give All My Secrets Away

"I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess

Til’ all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I’ve said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I’ve been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect line
Don’t care if critics never jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away"

Secrets by One Republic

Ever had those days when a song gets stuck in your head and plays on loop all day and all night?I had 'Use Somebody' by Kings of Leon,followed by Wish You Were Here by Avril and now this song.In my case,I have reasons why certain songs get stuck in my head; it's always either the strength of the melody or the lyrics.I have indeed been keeping a lot of secrets from people around me,even those who are proclaimed as 'close'.For instance,my insomnia is back,so is my anger management issues.It's all due to the irregular pattern of meals and sleep,not to mention the amount of stress u had to handle for the past few days.I might or might have not mentioned this in any of my blog posts,but a few months ago i've been having weird dreams regarding him (from now on i shall refer to him as weirdo).it was gone for a few weeks,then when the stress came back,so did the dreams.

As the song goes: I'm gonna give all my secrets away.

What dream you say? I confess,I have fantasized being together with him,and at night my brain generates affectionate dreams of us being together.To be frank,in Dreamland, we kissed and woke up in the morning to each other's smiles.Anything in between was perfectly innocent,and it was all sleep.It's bizarre to know that this is just a sign that my feelings for weirdo has grown deeper than i thought it would.It's also bizarre how i'm still not giving up on him,what's the matter with me?every damn day i'll waste my wishes and prayers on him,begging to the One Upstairs to give us a chance,and to let all these be a sign of eternal love story and not just another delusion; either that or get rid off my feelings as fast as possible.i can't stand the fact that i will subconsciously think of him every damn time my mind goes idle mode.

honestly,I love you,weirdo but this madness has got to stop.

p/s: my recent dream was that we were clasping on eachother's hand in the middle of Simple Plan's concert,and when I Can Wait Forever came,i volunteered,but Pierre Bouvier chose some other dude to go up on stage to dedicate the song to anyone in the crowd.the dude turned out to be my ex,he dedicated the song to me and asked me to get back together with him.stunned,weird just let go of his grip on my hand.the rest was history.