Moving On or Moving Deeper?

"I'm here with my confession
Got nothing to hide no more
I don't know where to start
But to show you the shape of my heart..."

-Shape Of My Heart by Backstreet Boys

Again,i've gone to yet another craze over a boyband,this time,it's Backstreet Boys.i know they've been around since forever,but only now have i sufficient musical sense to actually appreciate their songs.Not too sure whether they're still around,even if they are,they might have been overshadowed by the new era bands and teen pop stars.nevertheless,no one can deny that the 90s were the best years of pop music.Backstreet Boys,Westlife,Spice Girls.. you name it.they're all high quality pop stars who are nothing but a talented bunch.Needless to say that such era no longer exists.blame autotune :(

BUT,right now,i won't focus much on the 90s musical era.i shall do it in another post in the near future.the issue now is none other than the highlight of this blog for the past few months,our friendly cottage owner,Marco or as i'd like to call him,Chef Marc Anthony.he's been acting weird,so have I,in response to his awkward antics that it.because of that,i'm trapped in a mixture of emotions.i don't know how and why have i grown to hate him.it happens to everyone i've fallen for,and now it's his turn.whenever he passes by,we tend to get into an eye contact,a really brief but heart-grabbing one.i don't know his exact emotions,but what i know is,the sensation somehow managed to shake me,before i knew it,i was back into my dreamy state.lately i've noticed that he's in love with someone,but again,i'm uncertain.he might just be in that emotional state of his,but then again i might be wrong.seriously,i hardly believe anything anymore.my heart had been broken too much a time that i am practically immune to such situations.my plan of moving on was clearly a flop and i felt more guilty than ever.i made this little confession to Yana,and as expected,she nearly jumped from her chair in shock.Marco asked her some peculiar questions pertaining to affairs relating to the heart,she thought it was random yet clearly it wasn't.i wonder who that lucky girl is :/ i'm giving up.i don't think it's worth trying anymore.sometimes in life,no matter how dreadful it may seem,we've gotta learn to let go at the right time and the right place.sometimes things are just not meant to be.if life is as beautiful as how we picture it in our minds,why do we need dreams?thus,my antiticipation ends here.PERIOD.

i'm done waiting,Marco.if you need me,let me know.bye.just know that I love you,and thanks for caring so much for me.i hope this doesn't change anything between us,just in case you've known already.

so what will it be?move on or move deeper? let TIME decide.