Leanna's Blogdrenaline Domain

To Dad With Love



today is oct 27th.year by year,it is a special date for the whole family.my big sis will always have her birthday card posted to our house in representation of her presence,and we'll have a little family celebration at Secret Recipe.but the celebration last year was the last we'll ever had.today,is what would have been my dad's 52nd birthday.who would have thought that he would leave this soon?i admit,i'm not that close to him but it doesn't mean i don't love him.i've grown out of being a Daddy's girl that i used to be when i was a pre-schooler into an ignorant teen.it's the nature of life that some people will grow out of something while others remained.it doesn't mean i regret either,considering on a brighter note,if i was too close to him,i would have suffered more when he passed away.i am thankful God gave me this strength and i knew it all along that everything happens for a reason.God is testing me,giving my dad cancer when i had my UPSR,his second attack last year when i was near to having my PMR and now taking him away from me while i'm so close to having my spm next year.it's a BIG test of patience for me,now i feel how paris felt when she lost her dad.who would've thought that my dad would leave months after his idol,MJ?

and yet,i'm struggling to fight my ever-stirring emotions.i've been hearing the foolish statements about me not loving my dad just because i don't cry blood out of my heart everyday at school since my dad passed.first of all,have you even noticed that you're not a mind-reading psychic?do you even know what's going through my mind?or better still,do you even care?? hell no,all you do is blabber around about me all day but none of the words that are coming out of your mouth are true! yes,i suggest you STOP.if you'd know any better,i have a GOD to talk to,why would i talk to a bunch of stupid,pretentious humans like you? yes,i am emo.earth to backstabbers,fyi,i have a heart,and it's BIGGER than YOURS! butt off already and get a life! sheeshhh...

mellow-ing the situation down a bit,i've been listening to a lot of songs lately,and one of them touched me.it's called smile,applehead's favourite song.it suits me well:

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

i love it because it reminds me a lot about my dad.he seldom smiles in his lifetime,but when he shifted to the other world,i can see peace and solitude on his face.he looked calm during his final moments and there was a slight smile on his face.it was beautiful and i'm thankful.i know,he's watching over me and hoping for me to always continue his legacy down here on earth.

Daddy,i know you're up there.i promise to always be a good daughter,and i won't meddle too much anymore.i'll behave,and i'll make you proud! don't you worry.SMILE and show me the rainbow someday,so that i know you still care as much as before :)

Love you Daddy,i'll always be your baby girl.

-Yana
still a daddy's girl.