September ...

"In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Now it all seems so clear, there's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long that summer's moving on
We reach for something that's already gone"

-September by Daughtry

guess i'm not at all over you after all,loverboy.every song i hear,everything i write,everything i do,i still wish it was all done with you,or at least,for you.frankly,i don't deserve someone like you.you're too good for the likes of me.i'm not being humble,it's true.you're one of the kindest person i've ever met,and your kindness does not intimidate me in any way,it's just that sometimes i think that it's unfair that someone as nice as you are would have to live with getting someone like me.i'm not a good person,i'm imperfect in so many visible ways.you deserve someone so much better than me.

i hope it's not too late for me to apologize...for a lot of reasons.I'm sorry for:

-ignoring you when we newly met

-acting like your presence is an interruption to my life

-not appreciating your concern

-treating you like the rest of the useless flirts,while in truth,you just wanted to befriend me

-disbelieving you at some points of our conversations

-considering you a stalker at first

-falling for you when that empty space in my heart existed again

- hiding my inner feelings for you

-failing to make you smile

-making you depressed for no reason,thinking that you did a mistake and offended me,while in truth,i was struggling to fight my feelings for you

-trying to ignore you and get rid off you form my life,because i couldn't stand the pain of falling for you

-trying to deny my own feelings while obviously everyone knows it's true

-trying to drag you into feeling the same way,while obviously you don't

as i listed these down in my head hours ago,a text came into my phone.i was partly annoyed,but only until i saw whom it was from.

hey..is it ok if i come over?if it's not i'll totally understand,maybe some other time?

-Marco

it made me smile (: thanks Marco.and i guess you're right,being single doesn't always mean it's a bad thing.why rush things? i'll go with the flow but mark this,i won't stop loving you no matter what people say.

-i've found you,but have you found me yet?