Friday, December 24, 2010

Dr Leanna Cox

indeed.i have been ranting a whole lot haven't i?it could either be because i think life is sometimes an asskisser and most of the time is a bitch,or maybe,it could be because of how obsessed i suddenly am with Scrubs.of course,my life had had its own ups and downs but never before in my life have i felt so empty..or maybe i did?what's with all these fickle thoughts anyhow?i know i started giving long,scary speeches because of Dr Cox,but it makes me wonder,does this ever-changing mindset relate to me being a big fan of J.D.?i did find myself quoting their dialogues a lot,not to mention all the monologue-ing habits i've been having after every incident i obsession can be dangerous sometimes.but that's not what i wish to elaborate.lately,i notice how much the world had been such an asshole to me,the walls are starting to close in on me and a tide,yes a tide,is totally flooding in.what the hell just happened?first i recalled being in a room full of treats and now here i am in the dumpster.what have i done to deserve this anyway?sudden change of mood is not the best way of spending an most wanted 6-month break from any forms of academic-related activities or tasks,not to mention the total freedom from the dreadful SPM exams.results in March?do i look tad concerned?i've done my very best and now it's all in the hands of God.what i don't get is i don't see why my desire to get a part-time job should get any forms of 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' *exclaim in descending voice volume like a man falling off a cliff*.give me 3 solid reasons why i shouldn''m looking for a job at the Curve,there are probably hundreds of surveillance cameras and eligible security guards in all angles.transport?brother-in-law works in an office there,if the stores aren't open yet i could always hang around his office for awhile before i start to work.workload?time constraint?you're gonna have to come up with better arguments than that.i seriously need a job but currently my mobility's a little bit limited due to everyone's hesitance and lack of support -_-" i wish i could unfair is it that a car that was supposed to be shared equally is being dominated by one individual alone?i think you can make a wild guess that i am never the lucky one in this jobs,no car,why the hell am i 18 again?i don't freaking want a car since i'm gonna have to spend my moolah on the fuel,maintenance and whatnot,i just need wheels to move around (maybe i should get a bike?LOL).my point is,why is it that the youngest in the family is always being underestimated?sure,we're young and less wiser compared to everyone else in the family,doesn't mean we don't deserve any freedom or rights to undergo adulthood at all.yeah sure,we're the babies of our families,but we're not retarded.we'll be fully-grown and will have to face our lvies independently.why can't anyone accept that?i guess i've proven my point enough.pffftt..

Do as I say not as I do because
The shit so deep you can't run away
I beg to differ on the contrary
I agree with every word that you say
Talk is cheap and lies are expensive
My wallet's fat and so is my head
Hit and run and then I'll hit you again
I'm a smartass but I'm playing dumb

Standards set and broken all the time
Control the chaos behind a gun
Call it as I see it even if
I was born deaf, blind and dumb
Losers winning big on the lottery
Rehab rejects still sniffing glue
Constant refutation with myself
I'm victim of a catch 22

I have no belief
But I believe I'm a walking contradiction
And I ain't got no right