Hipocrisy

that self-explanatory title.i can be so pretentious at times.lately,i've been pretending a lot.pretending to be happy.pretending to be healthy.pretending to act normal.pretending not to care about you at all,while in truth,everything's the other way around.i hate assemblies,girls at the back,guys up front.it gives me the best view of you and i do not appreciate it that much.why? it's not that i hate you,i don't.how can i hate my best friend? :) it's the sense of being so near yet so far away.i wonder if you realise how much i'm missing you?all those thursdays spent talking to you in 'the lab',seeing you from across the room and exchanging smiles during tutorial class,watching movies together,basketball together.the peak of all these was during teacher's day.we bumped into each other a lot,and i can say i spent most of the time with you,beside you,talking to you.thanks for comforting me,thanks for making me feel secure.thanks for being such a great company in my loneliness.

i'm not sure how i feel about you.i can't stop thinking about you.the fact that i can't talk to you or show anyone that i'm close to you hurts me a lot.i don't know if it's love or a mere friendship.if only i could talk this out with you.

well..i did read your profile by accident.i just want you to know,if you think your life is sorrowful and empty,let me be the one to fill it and make it worthwhile :)

15th july will be a determination and might be a new horizon for us.let's just wait and see.