look at him! isn't he just perfect? moderately tall with that nice skin tan,spanish,brown curly-haired,plays guitar,a major gentleman..i can go on and on about this dreamy person here.
but too bad he's only an actor in the Cheetah Girls 2 : Barcelona movie.i don't think such a flawless guy would actually exist in real life,especially in Malaysia.speaking of flawless guys,i did find one person whom I think is the closest to the 'perfect' that i've been looking for.okay,so maybe he's not exactly 'all that',he doesn't really play guitar,he's not Spanish,he doesn't have curly hair (ok he does...LOL) but I can say he is one of the rare species of gentlemen on the planet.and he's got a very nice complexion too,light brown,kinda latin american at some points.but sometimes i wonder,am i perfect enough in his eyes?
these past few weeks had been beautiful.it's a major pity that it ended too soon,it's not how it's supposed to be.if only i realised it sooner,i would have had the best 7 months of my life but nooo,i chose to blindly like someone who doesn't even know i exist.how stupid is that?it's a little too late to regret.the both of us seem to be a little bit too paranoid about things.it's gonna hurt so much knowing that i have nothing much to look forward to anymore as the week goes by,well except for that little school field trip in august.IN AUGUST people,that's a month away! some say 'distance makes the heart grow fonder',i wonder if any of it is true,or rather,does it apply with imaginary distances too?that 'so close yet so far away' sensation.he's only one class away from me,i can always pass by his class and stop by for a chat but i chose not to.why?most probably because he might have already known the truth before i got the chance to speak of it with him.almost the whole school is encircled with this little rumor-turned-real gossip,it's just the matter of whether or not they know whom he is.i think he knows,whispered my mind.let him know once and for all,uttered my heart.afterwards,there has been another argument between my heart and my mind.so what happens when your heart says 'yes' and your mind says 'no'?two words,emotional breakdown.
right now,i have so many questions flying about in my mind.why are you ignoring me?why do you turn away whenever we run into each other?why are you too shy around my friends?why do you care too much about me?why do you bother about my pain and misery whilst they are,and might never be,any of your concern?why do you think you've got nothing special?why do you doubt your inner beauty?why do you doubt that anyone likes you?how can you be so sure that one would run if you confess your love to her?do it.i don't care who that girl is,if it vanishes your insomnia and fills that empty space in your life just do it.i want you to be happy.i don't want you to silently suffer like this.i know how painful it is not having the chance to express your feelings,i have my blog at the very least and you?it's safe to say that you've been bottling things up a little too much.why don't you just let it out?never let it go,you're a human.you deserve to have these feelings.please..don't torture yourself anymore.your pain is my pain,that's what you made me believe.if you suffer,i shall suffer too.remember when i almost cried in the lab when i was too stressed out?i saw you laughing at one corner and then you stopped,turned to me and had a sudden change in mood.you seemed to have empathized me,and comforted me the best way you could.i appreciate that,a lot.and now..i'm telling you.let it out.you'll feel better :)
i'll always love you,M.as a best friend,as something more,it's all up to you.but bear in mind,you'll always be under my guardian no matter what.
"starlight,i will be chasing your starlight until the end of my life.i don't know if it's worth it anymore." STARLIGHT by Muse :')
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