Take Me Away to Where?

"this time you burn me with your eyes

you see past all the lies

you take it all away

I've seen it all

and it's never enough

it keeps leaving me needing you"

-Take Me Away by Lifehouse :')

clearly,my mind has gone off the deep end,it's all a haywire and i don't think i'm thinking straight.that little speculations about 'us',that 'marco and me should have something going on soon', that 'why marco of all the boys?" and of course,that major mix-up between friendship and moving to the next level.next level?? this little thingy proves what others have been thinking about our strange relationship.

it's been months,and we should've been into that 'new level',but no,i chose to be blind.so did you.it's a little too early and i don't think either of us are trying to rush things up.needless to say,i've been having bizarre and unthinkable visions of me and you,through dreams and in between the gaps when i'm not studying.it doesn't affect my focus,but it's enough to make me think all the time.where have i gone wrong?what's with all these guilt?why am i always feeling sorry for you?and is that it,i fell for you because i'm sorry for you? dear God,don't let that be it.you've got so much more to offer,but so far not many people have realized that.i noticed that you've been living in that cottage in my mind,and another cottage in another girl's mind.she's very young,too young,and naive.maybe that was where my guilt originated?the thought of secretly fighting for your heart.i don't blame you.stealing one's heart is not like stealing money or stealing candy from a baby.it's unintended,and sometimes hardly noticeable except by the person whose heart was stolen.i should be blamed,for suddenly appearing in the scene.how could i stupidly fall just like that?i wonder where my guard had went to,it should be strong enough to withstand any more of these heartbreaking emotions.it frustrates me so much to know how fragile i can be sometimes,how vulnerable i am to such situations.i've always been that highly-motivated girl who has a solution to anything,including matters relating to the heart.but what happened to her?did that side of her fade away?did she just partially died inside?now it's nothing but false hopes and dreams.

yet..what makes me happy is all the fantasies i have.these are the dreams,MY daydreams,that comfort me in my anguish and pain.

1.playing tag at a lighthouse,on a full moon night,with a star-filled sky.

2.sit alone on a rooftop,perhaps listen to music and do some thinking alone.

3. fox trot or ballet in the rain,i think i did this in real life before?

4.having Daughtry as my neighbour who lives at the fire escape,trying to keep the paparazzi away from his track.

i guess that's all for now folks,before i start my lengthy statements again,i think it's best that i back away :)

oh and here's something cute i discovered on twitter when the site was under maintenance!

ta all :)

-paint me any colour you swear you've never seen before.