Finally 18!

oh wow...finally! can you believe it?? i've been waiting to turn this age since forever! back then i've had so many plans for myself (refuse to list them down simply because it's endless).now that i'm finally 18,the irony of it is the "....now what?" state of mind.it sucks big time.the fact that i might or might not have a celebration at all this year,the cancelled band practice,and the possibility of SPM results coming out today on my special day bothers me and puts me into an insomniac state.i seem to be wide awake for hours,until probably almost what seemed like the break of dawn.however,everything took a 180-degree starting with the little family lunch i had to celebrate me turning 18 and my brother turning 22.our birthday celebrations had been combined ever since we were babies,for our birthdays are only 7 days apart.we then went on a little shopping trip where by half of my wishlist (even the ones back when i was 16) were half-fulfilled.

yes those ARE what you think they are.a meal of Ayam Penyet in Sari Ratu,

Green Day DVD + tshirt,Mika tshirt and Marks&Spencer black jeans and purple shirt.

Bliss :')

That was the matter of what happened BEFORE my birthday.as for today,as expected,i knew my FB wall was going to be flooded with dozens of birthday wishes.and the culprit?FB birthday notification on the side bar.i knew it! so i joked with everyone saying that i wanted to deactivate my FB account temporarily due to Barrack Obama's birthday.LOL~ truthfully,i couldn't bear the amount of FB notifications popping up every second.it really did happen,but i couldn't avoid it.it's blessing actually :) i love you guys so much! i just had to save some of them in my computer.to be perfectly honest,there were too many unique birthday wishes,but thus far,Aniq's wish was the one that made me most astonished among all.

see what i mean?? 

Also,not to forget the sweet birthday wish from my dear boyfie :')  a special blog post by Nisa Bee in dedication to me,which can be read here  and Anwar's guitar cover dedicated to me which can be viewed here  

and my birthday has yet to begin! let's see what tomorrow brings me :) i have a gut feeling that this will be the greatest birthday ever!

p/s: i had this really cool dream after watching the Green Day 21st century Breakdown tour DVD. Billie Joe ,as usual,was looking for volunteers to play a 2-minute set with him.when he was looking for a guitarist,i threw a guitar pick at him from the mosh pit i was in,that caught his attention and he called me up on stage,addressing me as 'The Little Lady with The Hoody".funny how he mistook my hijab for a hoodie.he's super friendly.i only got a hug from him and managed to play 'American Idiot' before i was awoken from the best dream ever -_- 

2011 wishlist?

i don't plan to get ALL of them in one birthday but as of now,these are the things that i plan to get for myself gradually :

1. Gibson Billie Joe Armstrong Signature Les Paul Junior electric guitar

2. Fender Avril Lavigne Signature Squier

3. Green Day International Superhits CD

4. Green Day's "Awesome as F***" DVD

5.Marshall Poweramp 9200

oh yeah btw,nothing can make my day better the same way Jason Lo's tweet to me did for today!

(yes i did tweet him twice,just to make sure he saw them,he obviously did ;) love ya Jason! )

they may be gays but they're MY gays

they ain't gays,but i'd like to refer to them as such.IMO we call each other 'gays' as a sign of how close we are.plus,it sounds so much more comforting to say 'I hung out with the GAYS' rather than 'I hung out with the GUYS' to avoid being called a slut.but anyway,we are really gay sometimes.but isn't everyone? :D they laugh like girls,they gossip,they squeal,so hanging out with them wasn't as awkward as most people would think.but the best part is,they dislike shopping as much as i do,so we pretty much loiter around the mall pointlessly to kill time until we finally found what to do with ourselves while waiting for our movie to start.guess what?Jerin's initial suggestion was to get us into a karaoke booth(session's on him),but of course,none of our plans ever work.so we played pool instead.needless to say that Jerin and I sucked! ahaha. can we please keep the 'flying white ball' incident between you (my readers) and me? hehe.

it's all about style,baby.

after pool,we went to see the so-called thriller movie,The Rite.there were a few shocker scenes that almost made us jump out of our seats,but all in all,the movie was just hype.nothing special,except the fact that the priest-to-be Michael Kovak (played by Colin O'Donoghue) is actually too hot to be a priest,pfftt... whyyyyy D:

see what i mean?!

anyway,i was saving the best for last :) if you need a smile,take a look and this will totally made your day as much as it made mine.

do you know what forever is now? :') awwwww...

FML - Fudge.My.Life

ain't he hot? heheh my Teddy Geiger :)

back to the main topic.the title says it all.can't wait till i turn my legal age,but then again,will it make any difference even if i have?sure,when i was 15 i keep saying that turning 18 means freedom,and by that it means no curfew,no homework,no school-day restrictions and the fact that i can finally live my rockstar dream and drive a car.too bad life's not always how you want it to be.but at least,three out of five is good enough.there are no homework for me to ponder about anymore,there are no such things as weekend anymore since everyday seems like a Sunday to me,and i'm on my way to drive a car soon.and what i DID NOT expect at all is ending my school life no longer single,like wow! i'm overwhelmed really.i thought,after that little unrequited love soap opera,never again.i dodged a lot of potential relationships,even minor crushes.believe you me,i'm not as strong as i claim to be.i seem to fall quite a number of times,although not as major as my previous unsuccessful love story.can't believe this one actually made it.FML!

oh wait,there's actually more reasons for me to exclaim as such.today being one of the oddest days of my life,seriously speaking.it's neither depressing nor amusing,it's just plain weird.yesterday was the same,although different occurrences took place.let's start with what happened yesterday and how it all started.

FML 1#: i finally managed to pwn the driving circuit,and i memorized all the formulae needed to master it.but i made new mistakes in the parallel parking section.

FML 2#: my possible first gig turned into a gigantic let-down,reason being the organizers were such an ass to inform CJ that they wanted an acoustic show,so okay then,on the brightside,i no longer have the pressure of learning 4 new songs in one night,and also,i no longer have to worry about whether or not the RXF fans will be happy about my first appearance in the band,in spite of being merely a sessionist.we planned to hang out instead,but of course,all plans were ruined.

FML 3#: today,i attempted to tweet Billie Joe for the 5th time and got super upset he ignored my tweet and replied others.(pathetic i know,i didn't say i wasn't) then i came to realize that my Twitter is private,therefore if he doesn't follow me,there's no way he could ever see my tweets.once i un-privatized my account,he's already gone from twitter.

FML 4#: i broke off from my YM buddies telling them i have to hit the sack early,only to find out a few minutes later that i have no reason to sleep early.driving classes weren't until Friday.

yes i know,i'm a loser,SHOOT ME.just SHOOT ME.

now that reminds me,..any CSI fans reading this?i have just found another concrete motive of becoming a die-hard fan of CSI.

Ha Ha you're DEAD!

ok i won't lie,i do find Justin Bieber a LITTLE adorable,but he still sounds like a girl.he's practically killing the music scene.damnnn..and yeah he doesn't deserve to be shot dead but just admit it haters,doesn't it just make you smile to see his character dead on TV? hehehehe i'm not heartless people,excuse meee... i find it as a joke.no wait,i find JB as a JOKE! seriously.i apologize to his screaming teenage girl fans.i'm still stuck in the punk rock era,and i'm not coming out :)

in the words of Smash Mouth in their song "All Star" (i'm old-fashioned,so what?)

"Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shooting stars break the mold"

i don't know why am i going through this series of music addiction.must be all the late-nights and amount of caffeine consumption/sugar rush i've been having lately.i knew not having a job will turn me into a sloppy lazy ass -_- i'm a freaking insomniac for goodness sake! it's safe to say that i'm as hyper as Tre' Cool now.

for some strange reason,suddenly homophobia is no longer

in my vocabulary upon viewing this very shot of them.

is it because i know they smoke weed and are too hot to be

punished? sigh...

Complicated

remember when Avril used to be a true punk princess instead of the slutty cheerleader wannabe she is now?those were the times when music,TV shows and movies were actually worth while to be enjoyed.it sucks how people are now emphasizing audio and visual effects so much so that they actually are neglecting the most important ingredient in entertainment,the art and heaps of love and joy.where's the fun of it?it's like replacing a barrel of monkeys with a barrel of tamagotchies (no offense).everything has changed a lot since the sudden breakthrough of pop music,the scene is evolving rapidly,which is both positive and ironically,discouraging.sure,Taylor Swift,Justin Bieber,just to name a few,are new faces who seem to outshine 'experienced' musicians such as my favourite band Green Day,Avril herself,Nickelback and so many other rock bands who used to dominate the music industry over a decade ago.the sprouting of new talents is actually making us fans (NOT including me) to forget these legends whilst they were the ones responsible in bringing the washed up industry back on track.where's the liberty in that?i was more than glad that JB did not bring himself anything home from the Grammy's,reason being his lack of experience and some say,quality.i'm not being mean,it's just the fact that these awards are meant for those who actually have contributed tremendously to music not only in the US,but also throughout the globe.too bad brilliant acts such as Avril,whom I used to look up to as my alter ego punk icon,decided to just give up her punk roots to go with the flow.at least Green Day only changed their songwriting style,not their lifestyle as a whole.i'm disappointed Avril chose to be mainstream and slutty like other female celebrities,it sucks to know that the punk princess is somehow dead,no longer a part of the punk community.i salute Skye Sweetnam though,for being able to uphold her stand as a true punker.NAVY'S SALUTE!

all these reminiscing made me miss school more and more.this morning,as i was staring at the clock on the wall,insomnia had it's grip on me tighter than any constrictions that i have ever experienced my whole life.my bio-clock is obviously screwed among other things.and to top it all up,i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.my brother's GD tape broke,the coffee i made today tasted weird.it's safe to say nothing seemed to work out for me.i wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone,not even my good friend Hazem.family dinner with the foster family was ok,had a great chat with foster sister and the pizza was good,although i wished it would've been stuffed crust pizza instead.but hey,it's on them,what rights do i have to whine? :) still wasn't sufficient to improve my mood,but then again,i knew a good laugh was all i needed,thanks to Mamat Khalid's brilliant masterpiece,Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah.wasn't really a horror movie,it's funny as hell! won't really break too much about it here,watch it for yourself and judge if you haven't already :)

p/s: girl in Nona accidentally muttered the phrase 'fucking funny' on Nona today and the censorboards weren't even aware of it! or were they? naughty,hahah.national TV dammit!

meanwhile,i'll be working on song covers on my guitar,practicing for the upcoming jam session one day prior my 18th birthday,maybe will be writing some new shit for the band,and look for more fan fictions to enjoy.oh and i think Tre' Cool is hotter than Billie Joe now,so..yeah.haha.SUE ME :)

Leanna Learns to Rock

"She's a rebel,

She's a saint,

She's the salt of the earth

And she's dangerous,

She's a rebel,

Vigilante,

Missing link on the brink of destruction,

From Chicago,

To Toronto,

She's the one that they call old whats'ername,

She's the symbol,

Of resistance,

And she's holding on my heart like a hand grenade,

Is she dreaming,

What I'm thinking?

Is she the mother of all bombs gonna detonate?

Is she trouble,

Like I'm trouble?

Make it a double twist of fate or a melody that

she sings the revolution,

The dawning of our lives,

She brings this liberation,

That I just can't define,

Well nothing comes to mind

"

- She's A Rebel by Green Day

HAPPY 39TH BIRTHDAY BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG!!

i don't really know how i managed to overlook this ultimately awesome punk rocker all along.he's such an inspiration,and his tough life resembles mine in so many ways.among the things we have in common is the fact that we lost our dads to cancer while both of us were really young,but of course,that didn't stop us from chasing our dreams.he succeeded,he used all the shitluck he had gone through as reasons to pursue poetry and songwriting,and i plan to do the same.the best songs are the ones that came from the bottom of our hearts,i believe.i have written a number of songs,some sincere while others seem to be just for the fun of it,which of course,had different outcomes.the sincere ones are usually the ones my friends loved the most,since they're more expressive in both lyrical and melodic aspects.so as to not go out of the topic of celebrating Billie Joe's birthday,i actually had gotten him a gift,and it's not just any gift that you can buy,it's a priceless gift of music! i wrote him a short birthday song,it took quite an effort to not make it sound too preppy,and the lyrics are the hardest to write.i had to look up a few sites for inspiration,only to discover that maybe it's more innovative to extract some of his media quotes into the song and voila! there u have it,a perfect song for a punk rocker on his 39th birthday :) i haven't really gotten happy enough with the musical arrangement so i figured i might to give it a slight tweak before revealing it to everyone via social networking sites,including this blog.but then again,USA timezone is 24 hours later than Asia,so should i consider releasing the amateur recording of the song today or tomorrow(when it's really Billie Joe's birthday in America)?hmmm...

enough about Billie Joe.lately,i've been having such progressive conversations with my bandmates and the outcome?i came through a number of epiphanies which led me to spiraling confusion.as a rocker,which one should be a priority,playing right or playing fun?my mentor seem to be going for the former,while my bandmates were more to the latter.another riddle,true rockers versus graduate musicians,they seem to be torn apart by belief that either style or musical knowledge matters the most.if i were to choose,i'd choose both,considering how they compliment one another,but of course,as humans,self-consciousness will eventually grab hold of our minds,resulting in mindnumb or in simpler terms,stiffness in body gestures.i have been suffering inferiority complex all my life and no one ever notices.they see me as a star just because i seem more of a brainiac in comparison to other kids my age.the truth is,i always wanted everything to be perfect.i want to always be a straight A student with no demerits of any sorts,i want a perfect body and face,i want to be a perfect musician who knows everything about music and doesn't make mistakes.this mindset had driven me wild and it finally stopped when i moved to Damansara.i learnt to accept failures and take mistakes as lessons to be learnt from in life,and try to be human for once.i'm imperfect,i'm just a teen cum student.to live is to learn,i believe.thanks everyone for making me realize that :)

in the words of our birthday boy/man (he'll always be a boy in my eyes )

"It's better to regret something you have done rather than something that you haven't done."

- BJA

so what have we got to lose? :)

p/s: didn't really remember that i was a fan of Green Day since i learnt how to talk.according to my brother,Din,i used to dance around to 'Minority' and called him to the TV each time the MV came on.hahah.. good times.they only play shit on MTV now.

Redundant

isn't he like the most adorable thing alive??? even in a sequined

dress he looks hot,hahaha.

but anyway,Billie Joe isn't our main topic here people,in spite of him being a part of this post a little bit later.it's about my musical career,my SPM result,my redundant life due to being unemployed,my driving license,and a bit of everything in between.

yesterday for instance,after days of my paranoid speculations regarding how far i feel the gap is between my close butts and i are,it's actually untrue.we had an outing in Sunway Pyramid and it turned out fine,without any forms of awkward silence,except for the part where i parted from the gang to join the two girls for what was supposed to be ice skating.too bad the rates shot up skyhigh,sufficient for all of us to change our minds.RM25? that's worth 5 bumper car rides which was of course,the bomb! surprisingly..

i'm telling you,it's more fun than it looks.

but the worst part,i didn't know frozen yogurt would cost me a fair amount of budget,like wtf?almost felt like shoving the excess yogurt back up into the dispenser.however,upon tasting it,it isn't so bad and i felt that the money i spent for it actually paid off.Tutti Frutti is awesome but i gotta remind myself to limit the quantity.

afterwards,the girls were shopping their way when i decided to scurry on home.my feet were killing me but it was fun! oh,and my second time in Nando's (although it reminded me of a teacher i once hated,nicknamed as such) was terrific.the sidelines can never be a fair contender to Kenny Rogers' but i guess the roast chicken is okay.it's edible at least,and i regret ordering lemon and herb flavour.the chicken tasted better with hot sauce.it's like wasabi but less weirder.

thanks for the day Adeila,Hanizar,Ily,Syiera,Atiqah and Nana :)

oh hey,it's 14th of February.this can only mean two things,Valentine's Day for the non-Muslims and a fortnight before i turn another year older.as the years go buy,i always use this date as an indicator that i should be transforming into a better person soon in one way or another.the pressure i feel each year is tremendous,which explains why i always resort to emotional breakdowns if i'm being pushed too far beyond my humanly limits.in short,try not to mess with me within these two weeks and things should be willy-nilly alright?

speaking of birthdays,would like to grab this rare opportunity to congratulate on of my favourite married couples of all time,Sazzy and Nazril for their expected twin girls! i personally envy Sazzy.i know i'm not married but when i am,i really want to have twins! two boys,or two girls,or better still,a boy and a girl.

how about marrying a lebanese and get twin Mikas instead? hehe

this week's been too hectic for me to catch up much with my musical progress,reason being time constraint,tight (outing) schedule and whatnot.i did manage to practice a few times,which resulted in my mom getting mad and telling me i was making a ruckus in the middle of the night,LOL.that really made me wish i had an actual studio with soundproof padding on the walls,in other words,a room with walls lined by cushions.that should do the trick.the next band practice is intentionally a day prior my 18th birthday simply because i wanted to celebrate turning into an adult with the people whom i share passion with,my band! i miss the fellers.can't wait for it.

this reminds me.. Billie Joe Armstrong's birthday's in 3 days! i still haven't started that song i wanted to write in dedication to him.i should get cracking and start writing soon,time flies by like a whirlwind,i'll miss out if i procrastinate further! i have so many ideas yet so little vocabulary.sigh...why the writer's block now dammit! maybe i should write the song now?

for that,i guess i should beat it before i think of more ideas to write on.i'll save the rest for later.have a great Valentines Day to those who celebrate,and Happy Maulidur Rasul to Muslims worldwide.

It's Been Awhile

"

It's been a while

Since I've gone and fucked things up just like i always do

It's been a while

But all that shit seems to disappear when i'm with you

But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem

the consequences that I've rendered

I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must i feel this way?

just make this go away

just one more peaceful day"

-It's Been Awhile by Staind

yo there readers (if any),i know i've been slacking a lot lately and i haven't been updating my blog properly for awhile,thus,the song by Staind fits well with the current situation : it's been awhile,it definitely has.so maybe some of you,or rather,none of you,would like to know about my life and what's been going on with me lately.to be perfectly honest,life's been hectic in spite of being hopeless and redundant,haha.sorry,i've been into a Green Day fever lately,hasn't gone down since i covered Basket Case,must be Billie Joe's manliner.something that i can never resist,a guitarist who applies manliner around his eyes.anywhooo,that's not what i'm about to focus on.

cutting to the chase,it's about my adventure in the East Coast.it took us a whole day to reach Kelantan,passing by the Gerik highway.Tasik Banding is awesome,we stood a chance to view its majesty up close at what was supposed to be the highest peak of the mountains where a resort was situated.

there it is,among the oldest waters in the world

where ancient flora and fauna were discovered.no kidding,

this had been here since the Jurassic era.

and of course,the most anticipated meal of the whole trip..

*drumroll* ..... EEL SOUP! it was Fear Factor at first but after trying it,

i actually find the texture rather pleasant.the soup was terrific,reminded me

of Ra Won soup i had back in Madina.

East coast was great,the journey took a great deal of hours though,travelling from Selangor to Perak to Kelantan to Terengganu and to Pahang.my favourite part was of course,a visit to Aunty Bedah's where all the cats were excited to see visitors,not to mention it was the first time that any of us had ever met a wild boar in person! it was of course terrifying,luckily none of us got hurt.the poor thing was more afraid of us than we were of it,so it didn't charge at us.there wasn't much to do in Kelantan,although i do admit it's a shopping haven.all the stuff were cheap and reasonable in comparison to uptown Damansara.not to forget,Cherating beach is a beauty itself too.

speaking of beauty,i might need to replace my beauty snooze anytime soon.i don't know what went wrong this morning.i must have woken up from the wrong side of the bed,or shall i say,i didn't sleep at all.the trip was too tiring that most of my bedtime were spent in the car.i came home feeling too energetic to sleep.however,i dozed off on the couch when mum was watching primetime news.so much for guitar practice,hehe.and now i'm WIDE awake while i have driving classes for two hours tomorrow.still waiting for my L license though,in case you're wondering,it's my ticket that takes me one step closer into getting behind the wheels and on the road,hehe.i can't wait! driving is just like playing guitars,it takes step-by-step and a whole load of practice.it's safe to say that my guitar-playing is definitely much better than my driving.manual cars are quite a fuss to be perfectly honest.guitars on the other hand,has been a part of my life for two years already.still..i sometimes feel discouraged due to my weak hand grip.in addition,my newly-upgraded 10s. strings are not helping much.then comes my mentor,just in the nick of time to keep me from giving up.

and that's why i'm sticking to my Rockstar dreams.i know

he'd pop up somewhere,somehow to support me.thanks Lao Tse,it means a lot :)

i won't let you down.i'm actually planning an ambush on 21:05 with CJ.haha.be ready.

you know what sucks? The moment your about to get somewhere.... some asshole decides to fuck shit up again. Setback after setback! Sucks major balls. - Rahul OBS

some people whom I thought were supposed to be good friends are being such a letdown.why are you trying to make me feel sorry for myself for not having what you have?as if you've had it all.pffftt.. what's so great about your life anyway?i'm not jealous for even an inch or titbit of your life,i never will,why? because my life rocks harder man.i've been further and i've seen worst things than you can ever imagine in that little no-brainer of yours.why you gotta flaunt what you got?it's not like you've been employed by Donald Trump.i can show off more than you have,but the thing is,i wouldn't stoop down to your level.i have dignity and pride as it is,i don't have to show people.people just know it by themselves.this fortune i have is how God repays me for what He took away from me years ago,it's how the world works,in a balance.you win some you lose some.making people feel like shit is just low.i'm luckier than you could ever wish you would be and you know it,that's why you wanted to feel better by pointing out what you have but what i don't.what's the matter with you?i was so glad i finally had my own backbone to stand up to such mentality.i don't know if it's a good thing to still be hanging around you guys anymore,seriously.your true colours suck eggs man.good luck surviving the real world.right now,my main focus will be Scarlet Got A Band and nothing else.period.

you know? hahah.. Billie Joe,now you got me into that 'you know' thing already,you know?

Hero Malaya got Scarlet a band

zoey :)

Jason's pedal effects

our keyboardist,Nabeel aka ANF

our drummer,Naim

Me :)

Naufal,our bassist

Naim,our drummer

our new co-vocalist,Esah :)