"school is a place of education,NOT a place for finding your soul mates.."- random Mundane Monday morning speech by some teacher.
it's true in a way,but think..just think.what's the fun of going to school just for the sake of learning?might as well just stay at home and have an online conference with your tutors,it would be the same thing too.this whole exam-oriented education is putting excessive pressure on not only the students,but the teachers as well.this is where the extra joy at school comes in handy.having friends,attending sports,playing music,performing on stage,falling in love..those are the seasonings that spice up the dull,tasteless life of a mere student.sure,you would say that these are the factors that bring down a student right into the depths of distraction and consequently,failure in exams.but remember,we're encountering the adolescence stage,it's common to have all these kinds of mixed emotions.being rebellious for instance,doing stuff that your parents/teachers told you not to,it's all part of the process of growing up.it's human nature,an inevitable trait that everyone has no matter how good your attitude had been for the past few years before you move on to adolescence.i myself despise falling in love because it's always diverting my attention from what was supposed to be a bigger priority,but after awhile i realised that life is empty without love,be it mutual or unrequited.the strangest thing about love is,when it's mutual,it's beautiful yet the beauty will gradually fade away from time to time whereas when the love is one-sided,or as i would like to call it,still in the 'hoping for a miracle' phase,the thrill is there.you're waiting for something you're uncertain of,in a way it's like an adventure and a win or lose situation.you're gambling with luck and you're anxious to know what happens next.i guess that's why my love story has yet to end happily,apparently God wants me to feel the pain of waiting and see to my mistakes,so that when i truly find my soulmate,i won't repeat the same thing.it will be less painful as i will be learning before experiencing it on my own,without any clear guidance from the sky.
i've been such a 'casanova' lately.i keep changing my mind.first i claimed that i liked Alex,and then C and then Marlon.some even assumed i liked Harry.in truth,those weren't really love.i hardly change my mind when it comes to love,except when i attempt to move on.i guess those were just unrealistic crushes i have in between falling in love.the strange thing is,i don't actually see my future with them in it.my future love story's a major blur,i could see the situation falling into place but i just couldn't picture any of them being in it.afterwards,i came to a realisation,maybe i'm not in love after all?all these are just tricks played by my mind to distract me,trying to make me less intense than i already am.if so,why is Marlon (or Chef Marc Anthony,as i call him now) building a cottage and settling down in my mind lately?all the memories i had with him keep repeating and replaying in my mind,just like the advertisements shown at promotional sites.and when i lay my head on a pillow of some sort,i'll always see you being next to me,ever since that little incident in the lab when i laid my head on the table and you came,staring at me,waiting for me to wake up and reply your 'hi'.eventually i did,but back then i was too blind to see you.i was so head-over-heels for Alex that i totally ignored all your acts of kindness and concern.i admit,i was stupid and extremely wrong for falling for a guy who doesn't even know i exist.i should have noticed you earlier,and i should have taken note of the jokes that our club members make about us being together.all of it was just a joke until the day came.. i finally knew how much you should have meant to me.you were there when i was happy,you were there when i was down,you were there when i was pissed,and you were there to help me retrieve my long-gone emotions whenever i go through an indirect mental shutdown.you were there all along and i can't thank you enough.
and now,time is running out.please tell me it's not too late? :(
te quiero, por favor don' t me deja...
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