Sunday, July 4, 2010

Because I Cry Alone

brace yourselves,this has never been admitted to anyone else but my dear readers.i am sick and tired of bottling everything's about time to spill the beans,let the cat out of the bag,whatever equivalent.i repeat,it's ABOUT TIME! i really hate waiting for people to understand me because they just won't.when i listen to people and find solutions to their problems,i do it sincerely.i never hope for anything in return,but what do i get?back-stabbed,back-talked,loads of things that i do not deserve.i'm not saying i'm a kind person,no one is.everyone is involved in some sort of corruption or vice in one way or another ,i too am not an exception.but that shouldn't be a reason for all of you to shoot me all at once,what is this an ambush? a war? no.we may be in a battlefield,we all are fighting for something,all of us are aiming for our respective you realise that all of us are actually on the same page?why would you wanna make your teammate fall?for fame and fortune?to be the center of attention? go ahead,no one is stopping you.but why must you attack those who triumph?i didn't know glory was a new kind of sin.i'm being attacked from all angles just as my life was starting to get into one piece.i trusted you,i trusted all of you as a matter of fact.jealousy broke all of us apart.i don't know why are you letting envy get between us,forming a huge barrier to separate friendship and rationality.nothing makes sense to me anymore.everything is all about sarcasm,jealousy,betrayal,lies and all things's turning into a dark,dark world and i am alone,walking the alley,not knowing what kind of danger to expect.this is not the kind of life i chose to live,in fact,this is not the kind of life that anyone deserves at all.where are the so-called friends of mine when i need them?nowhere.but where am i when THEY need ME?everywhere,i'm always there through thick or thin,despite knowing them for either a long or short period of time.i am there to listen,to comfort and to advise.what about my own problems?are they anyone who would actually listen and try to empathize them?no.all they do is pretend,pretend that they care.pretend that i mean something to them while in truth,i don't.i'm just a spec of dust,a grain of sand,a tiny droplet of dew that will eventually evaporize once the harsh sun is up in the sky.i mean nothing to them.i should just be ignored.i'm like an underused appliance,kept shut in a shelf,taken out when in need and kept shut when not being used.i deserve better,i know i do.i am a human being too,i face problems and dilemmas that most people don't know of.i refuse to tell anyone for fear that they would not care at all.i need a listener at the very least,someone who would let me cry my heart out on their shoulder and seal my wound when i bleed a little too far,i did find a few understanding friends,but as usual,sometimes they just don't care.they expect me to attend to their problems,saying that mine is too petty for them to bother in comparison to their own.what do you know about my problems exactly?are you sure you know the whole story from A-Z? i highly doubt that,my won't even give me a break,how would you know then?you're a backstabber,and that's the least i could say about you.don't you think i know what you're trying to say with all your sarcasms?come on..i've lived my life for 17 years,i'm not too stupid to figure it out.

dear readers,i feel that this should be enough.i know now that i know nothing of life.quoting paolo coelho "if you understand life,it means you have misunderstood everything".life is a complicated maze and all of us are trapped in for God knows how long.our journey is life itself .it doesn't matter how long you've gotten lost.what matters the most is how we survive it,and what comes at the end of the maze.daylight?darkness?uncertainty? choose the right way and you shall find what your soul yearns.

to whoever is trying to create my downfall in any approach possible,EAT MY DUST YOU'RE STUCK IN YESTERDAY,GO FECK YOURSELF!

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