Anniversaries and Exams

i'm having my interval break now so i'm gonna make this as short and brief as i can.

29th Sept: Happy 10th Anniversary Pop Shuvit!

and today,Happy 50th anniversary the Flinstones!

can't talk,gotta run! exam reviews on 15th october ;)

Stupid For You

cute dress..cute garden.sweet girl ^^ you should've seen Marie Digby's raw video of 'Stupid For You'

on youtube.the garden,the 7-extension cable keyboard,her dog..el perfecto!

"It's not everday
that i find a person quite like you
perfect every way
i finally found the nerve to confess that it's you - that i want
i don't care if i act a fool
i would damn near beg for you !
put aside, all my pride
so don't keep me hanging here
cause this girl is falling stupid for you..
stupid for you..

the proper thing to do
is for me to act like a lady and wait
for you to make the first move
but i don't think you're getting the point
that it's you - that i want
i don't care if i act a fool
i would damn near beg for you
put aside, all my pride
so don't keep me waiting here
cause this girl is falling stupid for you!
oh, oh stupid for you

why's it always feel like i am
chasing love when nothing's there
and here i go just making the same mistake...

i've fallen stupid for you.."

-Stupid For You by Marie Digby

i guess there's nothing much left for me to write,considering the fact that Marie Digby has already said everything that I've been wanting to say.maybe i should write another song about yesterday?getting myself into trouble,walking the pathway to school with you,that little 'study date' you set up (oh god,why didn't you tell me it's only the both of us?? LOL),the sense of chill that came from the rain,that awkward comfort you gave me just by speaking softly to me,that laugh of yours..i can go on and on listing all the things I love yesterday when i'm with you.and most of all,there weren't anyone to interrupted us,unlike the morning sessions.it's just you,me and our books.

Marco,i think i AM stupid for you after all.

Wake Up Call

"Steve Miller: [in letter to Ronnie] Love is fragile. And we're not always its best caretakers. We just muddle through and do the best we can. And hope this fragile thing survives against all odds."

-The Last Song (2010)

gosh I'm so in love with this movie called The Last Song.just watched it last night and i didn't really see the sad ending coming.i can totally relate to it since it partially resembles my life :') what i love the most are of course the meaningful quotes throughout it,not to mention the piano concertos are totally splendid!

earlier this evening,i was having my usual routine power nap on the couch,setting my phone alarm to ring at exactly 4pm so as to avoid oversleeping.before i sleep,i'll usually think of 'you' of course :) it gives me some sort of peace of mind and comfort.i then fell asleep to the tune of Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars".an hour later,my phone rang.i reached it to turn it off,only to realise that the screen was written with options like "answer" and "busy" instead of the usual "turn off" and "snooze".at the moment,i thought "oh my god it's a phone call,and on top of that from a stranger!".partly pissed off to be honest,since it appeared that the number calling me wasn't in my phone's memory.when i answered,i'm tad surprised that it was Marco! i was so glad i decided to be polite,otherwise someone's totally gonna get hurt.like i mentioned on twitter,nothing beats sleeping with the thoughts of the one you love and eventually waking up to his voice :")

looking forward to our study session tomorrow.heheh.oh god...this reminds me of this little conversation i had with him a while ago.

"Marco: why do you avoid me?did I do something wrong?"

i said no,but of course,i had something else to say in mind.and that was

"yes..yes you did.you STOLE my heart! give it back!"

hahahaha...ok too cute.i guess that's all.trial exams are on and so far,BM papers were quite okay.let's hope all the reast of the subjects are okay too.

Vanilla Twilight,Violet Eyes

"The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a postcard to you dear

'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad

Till I look at my hands and feel sad

'Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit on the front porch all night

Waist-deep in thought because when I think of you

I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink

I'll think of you tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter

And heavy wings grow lighter

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew

But I swear I won't forget you

Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past

I'd whisper in your ear,

Oh darling I wish you were here"

-Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

tonight,according to the article on the newspaper that mom read,we're supposed to be able to witness the magnificent Jupiter beside the moon in the sky.this phenomenon can only occur in every 50 years,it's a chance of a lifetime since none of us are sure that we can ever live that long.i looked up the sky but to much disappointment,nothing was there but the violet sky,which was a bit extraordinary at this hour (0000 at the moment).not even the moon was there.nevertheless,i've never seen such eye-catching view in a while,it reminded me of this song called Vanilla Twilight by Owl City.okay,technically it's not dawn nor dusk,but the colour tone of the sky was prominent indeed (in fact,even when i'm writing this,the colour remains).it's blueish purple,with a tinge of darkness.no stars,no moon,nothing.reminds me a lot of...you.why?my friends should know,as a matter of fact i think everyone knows already.want proof?

" aisyah: good luck with ************** !

me: you know about me and him?

aisyah:doesn't everyone? "

get what i mean?i can't help but feeling an indigestible mixture of guilt,shyness and of course,everyone's favourite,deep love.i think i'm falling harder and deeper,which hurts,A LOT.hoping to get a chance to talk to you every morning when i'm alone,hoping to be left alone so i can think of you,recalling all our sweet memories all night till i fall asleep,praying to God that you'd someday come to a long-waited realization of how i feel,hoping to at least confess in my dreams and listen to your answer,imagining your whisper when in anger,hoping that you'd feel the same way someday,hoping that i could someday vanish your sense of emptiness and share all your laughter and pain - all these are just dreams,uncertainties,a spec of sand in my beach of thoughts.or perhaps not?what if it's a large coral reef yet to be discovered?maybe that's why i just couldn't get him out of my mind?too many unanswered questions,but there's nothing i could do but let time decide.

time heals,it also answers so we can say that time is one of the most powerful ruler of the world.

-i admit,sometimes when i think of you,do you think of me too?you mean the world to me,but does the world mean more to you than I could ever be?

Raya 2010 Chronicles Part 2

okay last post was a bit too confusing,let's just say the 7th day of Syawal was 2 days ago,there.direct and straight forward.haha.so the day started off just fine,i woke up early and got dressed.the early birds were Deila and Ily,while the rest arrived a wee bit late since there were actually more than 10 of them,way beyond my early estimation that was less than that.just as my mom was asking about them,my phone rang.Jerin told me that all of them have arrived except for Azzah and Aisyah so the three of us decided to go downstairs to settle any kind of possible 'security guard conflicts' they might encounter.

azita,hazem and ah meng in front of my condo.yes,they sat on the pedestrian walk like a bunch of beggars -_-

once Azzah came,all of us went up to the 6th floor where my condo is.we had to make 2 trips since there were approximately 20 of us,boys and girls! all i can say was the elevator obviously has a mind of its own,1st Fasha and Ah Meng almost got squashed flat,afterwards the elevator started to get a little bit jammed even though we did not even reach the maximum weight! it was maaaaaaaaad scary.

Alia,Fasha and Suzi (terrified in the elevator)

thank God nothing else happened on our journey to the 6th floor.NOW i really regret staying in a condo.NOW you know why i have a phobia for elevators.never again people. -_- i'll stick to normal semi-detached houses that actually TOUCH the ground.and of course,what's an open house without mayhem.it was as if my condo was our own classroom,except the fact that Miss On was absent,otherwise it would be exactly the same!

(L to R) Suzi,Fasha,Nizar,Ily,Me,Deila and Alia,conquering the coffee table.

(L to R) nabeel,azita,jerin,dzul,ah meng,irfan and hazem.

the boys making up space for themselves at the dining table.

we then split up,the boys walked to Seksyen 9 where they headed for Khairul's,while the girls stayed back for a few minutes to wait for Aisyah.the girls went Suzi's at Seksyen 8.my brother had to drive two trips since there were 10 of us and the Suzuki car could only fit 5 of us at a time.

the boys walking to Khairul's using the pathway by our school.

we were supposed to walk to Nabeel's together with the boys but somehow,we couldn't reach any of them at all.worried,we decided to walk to Khairul's.it turned out that the boys were to preoccupied with Khairul's PS3 to bother answering their phones -_- even when Azita answered,he gave us the wrong directions to Khairul's.

the boys and Khairul,doing their usual gaming routine.

just as an info,Khairul was an ex-KD10,he now studies at MRSM.i never knew him until i actually came to his open house,LOL.thanks for the hospitality!

did i mention the Spaghetti and satay served at Khairul's were beyond scrumptious?

thank you Ily for serving us :)

despite the popular notion that technology destroys life-long traditions,we chose to walk together to Seksyen 7 instead of catching the bus or waiting for somebody to give us a lift in his/her car.

the weather was tad favourable,it didn't rain and climbing up the stairs wasn't much of a trouble after all.

after a few minutes of walking we had our lunch at Nabeel's in Seksyen 7.to say the very least,i love his kitchen! and his mom is super friendly.

(bartender- Azita,LOL) L to R: Ily,me and Aisyah.

we were so in love with his dining space that we decided to snap a photo there,hehe.

what a happy family :)

family photo at Nabeel's living room after lunch ^^

Nabeel and Dzul entertains while the others enjoyed the meal.

nothing much to highlight,we had normal visits to Hanizar's and Jerin's before heading for Mubin's.oh wait,did i mention Nizar's cats were ferociously cute?ok..that sounds retarded but it's true!

the worst part of this trip (to me,whilst the others were enjoying the moment) was of course the trip to Mubin's.ohhh my goshhhh... coincidence can be very scary at times.yes we do text each other but we DID NOT plan anything.the horror... as we headed for his house,i saw Naqiu wearing purple,by then i smelled trouble.my gang started to giggle and when they saw Mubin,all of them burst into a loud laughter.can't believed they would actually think we planned to wear the same colour -_- it was damn embarrassing (not that i'm embarrassed of him) ,but i've never gotten bullied by so many people at a time! imagine being surrounded and then forced into some sort of paparazzi session.MAD! i don't know how will i survive this if i ever become a celebrity.

i admit that Mubin can totally cook,good job dude! thanks for the effort,sorry for bringing too many guests,hehe.

our last agenda was none other than turning the bus into our own vehicle as we made our way to E@Curve (or better known as Cineleisure) to catch Resident Evil 4: Afterlife in 3D! journey took quite awhile..long enough for someone to make a pit stop in Dreamland,hehehe

once a saliva factory,always a saliva factory,hahaha.sorry aisyah!

the movie was awesome! a couple of shockers in the thriller and some dizziness from wearing the 3D glasses for too long but it was worth it!

thanks guys! that was so much fun.let's do it again after our spm?maybe we should go shopping too,and have a sleepover perhaps?

-and Marco,i'm so glad to see you.and i'm so contented that you go to such great lengths just to please me,thanks.P.S guess what? :p

Raya 2010 Chronicles Part 1

basically to say the very least,this year's raya isn't the same as before,simply because my number of family members had gone from 8 to 7 (you know why) and maybe because it's my first time spending raya in a suburban neighbourhood.the surroundings,the atmosphere,are all so much prominent in comparison to Muar.my condo,in particular,was almost empty since all the employees had like a 7-day raya break from their jobs to spend their raya in their respective hometowns,some far some near enough for you to just have a 5-minute drive to and fro.those who stay thousands of miles away left their cars and went off by plane.

Raya's Eve:

nothing's better than spending the last day or Ramadhan by commemorating those who have left us to make a sudden stop to the afterlife.we recited the Yassin after Asar and waited for the Azan to break our fast.right after our meal,or shall I say appetizers,we performed out Maghrib prayers,continued with our dinner and then headed home to prepare for the 1st day of Syawal.

but before i update about the first day of raya,i need to show you guys this!

guess my niece is growing up faster than i think.i remember the time when my sister first told us that she was pregnant,how fast time flies.she could barely hold her own milk bottle and now she's handling a digicam at age 4 ;)

1st day of Raya:

woke up early to help mom with the last minute raya tasks.what is raya without ketupats galore on the table?

we then moved on to Uncle Fawziy's house where most of our Selangorian relatives would gather.say hello to the Gossip Committee:

while the aunts and uncles(including my mom) were having their little 'meeting' at the dinner table,the little 'rugrats' had a gathering of their very own too.

since my last trip,i noticed a couple of distinctive changes,or make-overs,to Uncle Fawziy's house.the most obvious one was indeed his ceiling:

doesn't it remind you of some sort of temple somewhere? LMAO.

also,he built a 'sanctuary' for himself just in case he wanted to seek some peace of mind whilst his grandchildren are all over.the most amazing part about this little escapade is of course the amenities:

see what i mean?? you have yet to see his very own minibar,TV set and whatnot.it's all to himself!

awww love birds..my brother din and his wife,kak As.

and of course,our usual family photo session with the cousins,never fail to amuse at all causes.

the day ended well until Along forced me into playing him a song on Siti's acoustic guitar,it was a bit tough since i'm used to my electric guitar.but in the end,they enjoyed the performance and gave me extra duit raya :p

2nd day of raya wasn't as exciting,but the 5th day of raya was sort of interesting.Amin or El Amino,as I nicknamed him,came over with his merry band of men,LOL.there were 7 of them,enough to create as much mayhem as my whole class would have been able to!

El Amino and AJ (me)

the best day of Syawal for me this year was of course,the 7th day of raya,that is,yesterday.(in today's case,it's the day before yesterday- am i making any sense at all? LOL).

to be continued....

September ...

"In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Now it all seems so clear, there's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long that summer's moving on
We reach for something that's already gone"

-September by Daughtry

guess i'm not at all over you after all,loverboy.every song i hear,everything i write,everything i do,i still wish it was all done with you,or at least,for you.frankly,i don't deserve someone like you.you're too good for the likes of me.i'm not being humble,it's true.you're one of the kindest person i've ever met,and your kindness does not intimidate me in any way,it's just that sometimes i think that it's unfair that someone as nice as you are would have to live with getting someone like me.i'm not a good person,i'm imperfect in so many visible ways.you deserve someone so much better than me.

i hope it's not too late for me to apologize...for a lot of reasons.I'm sorry for:

-ignoring you when we newly met

-acting like your presence is an interruption to my life

-not appreciating your concern

-treating you like the rest of the useless flirts,while in truth,you just wanted to befriend me

-disbelieving you at some points of our conversations

-considering you a stalker at first

-falling for you when that empty space in my heart existed again

- hiding my inner feelings for you

-failing to make you smile

-making you depressed for no reason,thinking that you did a mistake and offended me,while in truth,i was struggling to fight my feelings for you

-trying to ignore you and get rid off you form my life,because i couldn't stand the pain of falling for you

-trying to deny my own feelings while obviously everyone knows it's true

-trying to drag you into feeling the same way,while obviously you don't

as i listed these down in my head hours ago,a text came into my phone.i was partly annoyed,but only until i saw whom it was from.

hey..is it ok if i come over?if it's not i'll totally understand,maybe some other time?

-Marco

it made me smile (: thanks Marco.and i guess you're right,being single doesn't always mean it's a bad thing.why rush things? i'll go with the flow but mark this,i won't stop loving you no matter what people say.

-i've found you,but have you found me yet?

If I Ever Leave This World Alive

"If I Ever Leave This World Alive lyrics
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll come back down and sit beside your
feet tonight
Wherever I am you'll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive

So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world
Hey I may never leave this world
But if I ever leave this world alive

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
Yeah should be alright"

-If I Ever Leave This World Alive by Flogging Molly

it's almost the end of Ramadhan and September 25th is approaching.the nearer it comes,the less pain i have to bear.pain of what?why,the pain of grief my dear friends.i lost dad last year on this date,but my whole family had expected it.so the pain wasn't as large as the one my friend,Jemima had to bear.she lost half her family.no,i'm not trying to make others' life seem worse than mine,i'm just being grateful that God didn't test my patience that much.i do hope she's doing alright,i miss her a lot and i'm pretty much worried about her.anyway,since it's been almost a year since my dad left us,it reminded me of this movie called PS I Love You.her husband passed away of brain tumor and left her a series of notes to help her get back on her feet,after a year,she stopped feeling his 'presence' and managed to go on with her life.the song lyrics i posted up there is the theme song of that movie,and what i love the best about the movie is this quote from Holly and Gerry's letters.

Gerry Kennedy: Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you

Holly Kennedy: Dear Gerry, you said you wanted me to fall in love again, and maybe one day I will. But there are all kinds of love out there. This is my one and only life, And its a great and terrible and short and endless thing, and none of us come out of it alive. I don't have a plan... except, it's time my mom laughed again. She has never seen the world... she has never seen Ireland. So, I'm taking her back where we started... Maybe now she'll understand. I don't know how you did it, but you brought me back from the dead. I'll write to you again soon. P.S... Guess what?

R.I.P Dad.Al Fatihah.

Introducing,Haji Azlee bin Mansor..my dad.

(he's physically gone but spiritually,he's still here,in our hearts)

sometimes i wonder,if I die,would anyone bother?how would everyone i know and love react?what's left of me is there to cherish?or is there none at all? here's what Kak Jass thinks:

Yana-

I'll remember the creative & enthusiastic girl, who I see a lot of potential in, but sometimes need a lil more drive if she wants to go further (don't be angry, when I was your age I'd argue this until the sun goes down.. but it is my honest opinion). I'll also remember how you're not afraid to be different. I like that in you.

-how will YOU remember me by?

How to Break both your guitar AND your heart

"Sara: Relationships are for people who are just waiting for something better to come along."

Hitch (2005)

i guess today is exactly as what they would say,never count your chickens before the eggs hatch.never expect something out of an uncertainty.the saying makes perfect sense now.i thought the day was gonna be perfect,but heck,once again,my luck took a 360 degree turn.it all started when i wanted to learn a new guitar skill,the pinched harmonics.to tell you the truth,it's NOT a walk in the park,it's really complex even when i'm using electric guitar,but that's not my point.as i was too preoccupied with the new skill,disaster struck.i could have sworn i had a firm grip on Afi the guitar,but unfortunately i didn't.the only physical support i had for him is his strap,it snapped and then CRASSSSHHH! Afi tumbled flat on the floor with a loud bang,sounded kinda like a motorbike running into a metal pole,that's how loud it was.i inspected him from top to bottom,and this was what i discovered :

observe the red lines that mark the perimeters of the large scratches.sigh...my guitar will never be the same :( luckily,only the exterior part of Afi was damaged,his inners are still okay,which means he's durable,hehe.damn you destiny and gravity!

it doesn't stop there,worse comes worse,apparently what i wrote in my song is actually true. "Marco,you're blindfolded.You'd see an open door and walk away like you've always done before".it's clear to me how IGNORANT you are,Marco.when will you take a pause and just think?i know that you're more than aware about how i feel,in fact,the whole school does despite how hard i try to hide it from them,to pretend that i'm okay and that my love for you is just another figment of my imagination.if you think you're gonna remain with your stand,then fine.i won't force you,i won't bother you nor will i ever ug your life anymore.i'll make this a history,although a painful one.i'm giving up,thanks for everything.thanks A LOT.

if you think you know everything about me,about how i feel,about everything that i keep locked up within me,THINK AGAIN.

"Rose:A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets."

Titanic (1997)

Song for Marco

well guys,i'm just gonna make this quick.a couple of days ago,i worked on this song called 'Marco' and today,thanks to God Almighty,i have finally finished it! here it is:

here's the description i wrote on FB:

-an original song i wrote for someone i fell for,whom I nicknamed Marco.my 2nd original song uploaded on FB.might record it next year.any vocalists interested?about the video,i turned off the amp because i couldn't hear my own voice (and yes i know,i sang the wrong lyrics,Lol.the correct one is here...)
title: Marco
fully written by : Leanna Scarlet (me)

Marco

Verse 1:
I've waited so long to convey words that i just cannot say
In the form of melody,though you'll never ever try to
see right through me
I've tried too hard to understand things that i can't comprehend
And put this confusion to an end,though i doubt that i will ever
stand a perfect chance

chorus 1:
The pain is cutting deeper,if we waited any longer
are we getting somewhere?guess we'll never know now that
you'll never be there,never be there

Verse 2:
I've covered all I feel inside,mislead them all with my sense of pride
I'm trying to make the wrong things right though i know that
destiny can never be denied

chorus 2:
The distance's growing wider,emotion's going wilder
Marco,you're blindfolded
You'd see an open door and walk away like you've always done
before

Outro:
This is the last time i'd confess,so listen well and forget the rest
You have my heart,my mind,my soul
Now that you know,hey Marco please don't let me go

--------------------------------------------

afterwards,i tweeted about it since most of my friends are already asking me when am I going to record my songs in a proper studio and i think all of you can guess who was the first one to respond:

indeed,it was cikgu.translated,the tweet reads as follows:

" yes my dear friends,upon popular demand (popular?) next year i'll be hitting the studio,but first i need a vocalist.any volunteers?"

and then cikgu tweeted about getting featured on the song.either it was a joke or otherwise,it was enough to thrill me as much as when he offered a collaboration with Pop Shuvit! who would've known that the band i grew up listening to would actually let me work with them?

i guess this fortune cookie here's not lying after all when it said:

and to top it all off,my first gig will be in December after my SPM! wish me luck guys.i really want this.

Overdue Buka Puasa report

people,expect double blog posts from me,because i've never been so inspired to write as much as i do tonight.sorry for being a little bit outdated but i HAVE to include this in my blog baby.on Tuesday, i had my Merdeka break and it's safe to say that the whole country is having the same public holiday as well.so i decided to have a buka puasa session with my girls: Rin,jijie and Michelle.it was an all-girls night and we had fun despite the little crisis in Kenny Rogers with the waiters.booking the table for 4 itself was an issue,let alone placing our respective orders.in the end,we got our table ready and set for buka.the lady in charge wasn't too friendly though,she reminded me of my discipline teacher back in Convent,LMAO.

a few minutes after we were seated at our tables,we placed our orders and guess what?i knew nothing good would come from having foreign employees! time and time again has the government stressed that these kind of job prospects,although they seem minor,should be given priority to our own locals,so as to decrease unemployment.seems like these franchise chains still believe that by taking in foreigners,they would be able to cut down on salary payments,and increase their profit while in truth,they're contributing practically NOTHING to the country economy.when will they ever learn that they'll get affected too in the end? sigh..but what annoyed us the most is the fact that NONE of the employees had proper communication skills,or in other words,their BM sucks! let alone their English.as a result,they made a lot of mistakes and we had to remain calm as a sign of respect to the holy month of Ramadhan.

after buka puasa,we headed to Cineleisure to look for a surau to perform our Maghrib prayers before resuming our loitering and gossiping session.

jijie,rin and me.

Mich,rin and me

unfortunately we had to cut our session short since Jijie had to get back home for work.darn her graveyard shift,awww :( but it's alright,it was fun anyway.Mich treated me and gave me a ride home and apparently we were so preoccupied with our conversation that we missed the junction that led to my condo,LOL.

Mom wasn't in when i got back and of course,as always,i forgot my keys.so i ended up hanging out on my own by the poolside.well,on the brightside,it was a gorgeous night,so quite,so peaceful,so cold yet tender and warm in its own ways.the pool looked even more terrific at night than during the day.

a little indulgence never hurt,thanks Mich!

having my own sweet time ^^

"Holly Kennedy: I don't want to make any mistakes.
Gerry Kennedy: Then you're in the wrong species, love. Be a duck."

P.S I Love You (2007)

BFFF?

"Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic principles: no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom." - Hitch (2005)

can't believe that i can relate a lot to this movie i just found out about a couple of days ago.it started off a little bit too slow and dull and then started to pick up as it approaches its middle scene,the part where Hitch (Will Smith) started winning Sara's (Eva Mendes) heart.it's all about the cliche' sweet sensation and experience of falling in love,arguing,breaking up and running back into the arms of the one you love,despite how idiotic it could seem like.but that's not what i could relate to,what i meant was,the fact that falling in love can never be planned or catalyzed,no matter what methodology or theory you practice in order to do so.falling in love is impromptu,spontaneous and merely all about seeing what's inside rather than the outside.

"So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them."-Hitch

it makes perfect sense.people claim that i easily fall in love,do you even have any backup for your little assumptions?you do know talking without any supporting details or evidence gets you NOWHERE.how sure are you that ALL the guys i claim i had a crush on are all the ones i fell for?it may seem like it but trust me,those are just minor crushes that i have in between those painful breakups or heartbreaks i just experienced.it doesn't necessarily mean that i love them all,as a matter of fact,the word LOVE and LIKE carry such different meanings from one another.need evidence?fine,here's a little reference i made to prove it,these are the definitions of 'Love' and 'Like' from the Online Cambridge Dictionary (one of the most reliable sources),respectively.

be in love

to love someone in a romantic and sexual way

I'm in love for the first time and it's wonderful.

They're still madly in love (with each other).

likes

the things that someone enjoys

The pop-star lists his likes as 'my new Porsche, my girlfriend and staying up all night'.

They can't expect me to accommodate all their silly little likes and dislikes.

see the difference now?it's all about definition people.i enjoy company from the opposite gender,but it doesn't mean i'm a player and i don't give my heart to all of them.i might still be in the phase of healing my previous heartbreak if my 'in-between-breakup' crush seems a little bit too soon.as you know,or might not have known,girls have so many weird ways to face heartbreaks especially when it's about love and relationships.some would consume twice their weight,some would find as many activities as they can so as to try to get over it,while others,for instance yours truly,will try to find a crush to divert her mind.it's just the way i am and right now i would like to stress once again that i am certainly NOT in a rush to find a replacement.i am smart enough to understand that love doesn't work that way,the more you force it,the further it will flee from you.same goes for the pushy guys who keep forcing me to have a relationship with them while in truth,i barely even know them as a friend.why the rush?isn't love friendship set on fire?though sometimes i do admit that when you get extremely close to someone as a friend (referring to the opposite gender) you will either realise that you were meant for each other or just the fact that you're better off as best friends.i do have a lot of guy best friends despite being in a convent for the past 7 years,i consider all of them as my brothers or just,well,bestfriends! my shoulders to cry on,my study buddies,my musical fellows,my secret keepers etc.they're so much fun to be with to say the very least,also does not mean that i'm making them an option in my love life,HELL NO! i often let love do its own job. again,i NEVER speak without any proof.

what was my point again?just because i hang out,i laugh and i am close to someone of the opposite gender,it doesn't mean i'm dating him.right now,i'm proud enough to say that Jerin is my bestestestestest (sum to infinity) friend. (dalam bahasa mlayunya,walaupun kami mngada2 acah2 romantikus,jeles olok-olok aka suka buat dialog mintak pelempang,kami xde pape pun,hehehe).but yeah,i know all of his secrets as much as he knows mine :')

too bad it doesn't apply for Marco though,when will I ever learn?despite knowing the fact that friendship lasts longer than love,i still chose to contradict myself,time and time again,sigh.

well,i guess that's all i have to say,for now.still need to blog about my night with the girls,but i guess i'll wait.toodles people :)