Sunday, February 7, 2010

Out Of Focus

welcome to my overrated lovey-dovey mood post! it's been awhile since i last felt this way,and that was way back in 2009 (around the same time).perhaps it is true that february is the month of love since i tend to fall in love each year particularly in the month of february.either it be coincidence or a curse,it doesn't really matter.what sucks the most about it is the fact that i don't think my love or admiration will ever be returned.well,at least the previous one had some sort of hope,but this time round,no luck.getting your friend request rejected,your presence ignored and having only the mere opportunity to catch a glimpse of someone whom you love secretly each day isn't really the type of love story i had in mind.i imagined something more like a fairy tale that starts off bitter and ends up as sweet as it can be.alas,i get otherwise either it's the other way around or plainly bitter all the way through.i'm not bothered in any way,it's just that,if only there's a way to shake off all these feelings and get my life back on track as it used to be when i wasn't in was smooth sailing since i fell out of love a few months ago and now i'm back on the roller coaster ride.loop-de-loop,over and under again,it's driving me NUTS!! worst still,i have an essay due this tuesday and all i did today was loiter around with my mom and aunt (which was actually better than staying miserably at home) and burning my night away just thinking about my ever unsuccessful love's ridiculous and i've been trying to put a stop to it since,it doesn't seem to work.i know what i should be focusing on instead but being human makes these feelings i wish i didn;t have to move out of convent this least i shouldn't have to face any troubles finally fades away and comes back again with a bigger impact.dear God,show me the way.don't get me wrong,i love this damansarian life,but i hate the re-falling in love part of it.i need love,but not your sympathy.

too solemn to celebrate my finding of mika's deluxe album.