Thursday, December 31, 2009

Good Bye

it's been fun writing down all the memories i had,from my first Camp Rock experience to my first Rock The World experience,from my sweet love story to endless depression of a heart-wrenching ending,also from achievements to losses.i enjoyed them all coz it's life,but now it's time to turn to a new leaf and start a new blog.indeed,i love this blog and will always cherish all the memories and pictures in it.may it all remain as a perfect past forever.a dusk in a land is a dawn in another land.

see you in my new blog:

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


woohooooo! my first rock the world experience and it was tight!! like REALLY tight.i went a little too early though,arrived at about 12pm++.naz was there with her friend,zul.we strolled around a little,checked out some of the bands that were performing and apparently we bumped into a couple of renown indie music figures like joanna,dhiya izwin from otherside orchestra,hanafi (ehemmmm!!) ,dude from couple and mooky from OBS.can't upload pics as of now,i'll try afterwards,there was supposed to be a meet & greet with all the bands who were going to perform at the main stage.BUT!! there was a catch.we had to pay rm20 worth of I-Talk prepaid card to get a meet & greet with only one band.luckily i brought money,so i bought rm20 for pop shuvit,then i gave the card to kak yaya,she bought one for bunkface for me.gave my cards to her since her house uses I-Talk and mine doesn''s a very fair trade if you ask me.moving on,pop shuvit's meet & greet was supposed to be held at about 3.30pm but it had to be postponed due to the rain.yet,it was a gentle shower and no one actually we decided to check out all the stages: indie stage,chillout stage and of course,the main stage.we met kuachee at the indie stage,and jason lo somewhere around the main stage.suddenly the rain started to fall a little bit more heavily,and before we knew it,we're trapped in a heavy downpour.everyone was running for shelter and yet again,we met enha & we then moved from one shelter to another until we reached the TM booth.there was this accoustic band performing various cover songs,including M.Nasir's infamous single 'Apokalips',which the lyrics go 'apa nak jadi akan terjadi,hujan pasti berhenti',translated it means 'whatever will be will be,the rain will stop somehow'.
so there was this group of boys,a HUGE group as a matter of fact,who were stranded in the rain.the organizer provided them with an extra portable tent for shelter.when they heard the accoustic band performing,no words this clip: the meet & greet went on after the rain subsided.we waited eagerly for the Shuvits to arrive.the first two were Rudy and AJ.they jokingly said it was as if they were participating in Explorace,having to rush into their cars parked in quite a distant place during the rain and rush back to the meet & greet booth.Uno and moots arrived next.kak yaya,naz and I were a little shy to ask for a photo with them so we took their pictures instead.then moots was friendly enough to volunteer in becoming out photographer and asked us to take individual pictures with the four of them took a group photo.just then,we heard someone saying 'cheeeeeeeeeseeeeee!!' behind was cikgu with his camera phone.what the??? haha.i wasn't in the mood at the moment so i didn't really had much of a conversation with the SHuvits,well not until cikgu arrived.he started asking me questions about guitars and such,and he called me his anak murid, :DD kinda cool actually.then they had some press conference so kak yaya and i decided to talk to AJ's wife,hazreen.she's a very nice person to be honest.we then broke off with the Shuvits and headed to the mainstage to wait for their was practicly after the rain so the area was all muddy and filled with puddles and was hell during monoloque's performance when the audience went wild and started jumping all over.kak yaya and i were soaking wet but that didn't stop us from staying there.i texted cikgu and he told me pop shuvit was right after the pilgrims,which was 5 bands away! we decided to back off form the crowd and went to the TM booth since i had a meet & greet with bunkface.the fellers weren't that friendly nor respectful,but anyway,what the hay,i got to meet them.we watched a couple of performances,alternately switching from one stage to another.among those we managed to catch were the otherside orchestra,liyana fizi,joanna & co,rashdan harith,yuna,one buck short,pesawat,bunkface and of course POP SHUVIT!! we almost missed the Shuvits's performance since we were too distracted watching joanna at the time.luckily i saw moots on the big screen,and eventually kak yaya and i rushed to the main stage.they sang Oh sizuka and usual,an astounding performance.everything went well until it was bunkface's turn.the crowd was too rude,throwing bottles and boo-ing the band when they performed was very unfortunate for them since the lighting and audio got a little screwed up during their performance as the closing band for the night.also,i didn't like how the crowd was flirting with us,it was really disturbing that we decided to move further to the front.but it doesn't stop there,when my sister came to fetch me,her car battery went dead and we were stranded at bukit jalil for almost 3 this point,i would like to thank the concert-attenders who offered their assistance.kak yaya spent the night at my house since it was already 3am when we got back.overall,the weather wasn't favourable throughout the whole event yet i must say that I am personally touched by the cooperations of fellow malaysians,helping eachother out when anyone falls among the crowd,sharing shelter,togetherness and such regardless of was truly an amazing experience.
so that was it folks,my first ever Rock The World coming soon.

i'll shut down this blog soon,and make a new one.too congested.

Friday, December 25, 2009


it's painful to still be awake at this hour to look back at all the cuts and bruises i had been experiencing the whole year.the year started out great and gradually went on a downfall,bringing me down along with my emotions.i'm still listening to Mika's's stupid to hurt yourself,but it hurts even more when the cuts refuse to heal.iam feeling internal depression like never before,as the year is approaching it's end.i don't even know what to do anymore,and i couldn't care less.let the happy days drown the pain.It's literally cold now and i'm shivering both from cold and excessive bitterness.dear Allah,assist me in facing this really tough time.

i blame myself.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Beyond Rationality

click to enlarge.i can't believe i actually wrote that status the first place.i must be completely mad.even ARIANA ADNAN FROM ONE OF MY FAV BANDS,COUPLE was concern.Rock The World 9,the biggest Malaysian Music Fest,is just days's going to be my first time attending it and i just HAD to re-fall for drummerboy after timeless efforts of trying to forget him.there is indeed a 50-50 possibility that he might show up,but then again maybe not.i don't know what to believe or hold on to anymore.all these had been barging onto me like a huge wave striking a small hurts but at the same time,it teaches me more about brain is stressed out from all the thinking and trying to look for signs.where did i go wrong anyway to deserve all these?tell me why...someone..anyone?

to go or not to go.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

One Short Note

i'll make this quick coz i'm in a rush.i'm sick and tired of being under your may be Darth Vader but i will no longer worry if the empire strikes back.who gives a damn how ridiculous i sound now,if you know the true story,justice shall prevail.i'm freaking sixteen and i should already have the rights to decide on my own and to manage all my properties the way i want it,otherwise why the fuck does the government allow 16-year-olds to take biking license anyhow?and why the fuck is the ownership under my name and not anyone else's? because it's fucking mine! do you fucking comprehend what i fucking said?thank you! phew...glad i let that out of my chest without the need of screaming it to your face.mostly you're princess diana,sometimes you're just plain darth vader.may the schwartz be with you.LOL.

You keep changin' the rules
While I keep playin' the game
I can't take it much longer
I think I might go insane
Stop pressurin me
Just stop pressurin me
Stop pressurin me
Make me wanna scream

i demand my rights.

Craziness Of It All

look at the time think THAT'S EARLY?? get a load of this,i woke up an hour ago,that's EVEN EARLIER! why you ask? you do know how the internet here sucks right?so i wanted to upload my v-blog and submit my entry for mika's xfactor competition (which at first was supposed to be a song i wrote but now that the dateline is almost here i submitted a stop motion short movie instead).i'm so glad when all the uploads are's crazy,i'm hearing the Azan now.i'm up THAT EARLY?? gosh...usually i'm up at 6,except during ramadhan but this is a MAJOR exception.listening to Rashdan Harith's song now entitled 'Everytime,Everything & Why'.his voice...gorgeous <3

oh did i mention i'm broke?XDD but i need a guitar stand,a metronome and an electric tuner so badly.god..i'm in trouble.cikgu has offered to help me get them but i'll have to owe him money..dammmit,as if i have a choice.he'll be getting special price so i'm not really worried :P
and i'm planning to go to RTW9 this year.

that's about it peeps.i've posted xmas cards to chantelle and huikings,also heading to midV tomorrow to meet up with a fellow musician/MJ fan,daissy raniey.i'll update later! toodles!

dead as green ham.

p/s!!! : i have a v-blog,hehehe..subscribe to me!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

That Little Encounter

Last Sunday,i went back to my old town,Muar to settle a few things regarding our old house to let,on account of we already have a customer.So,I decided to meet up my old school friends,but only Adah showed up.I don't blame the rest of them,indeed,their absence was expected since it's a long school holiday and I only told them about my homecoming at the very day.It was fun but while waiting for Adah,i saw a gang of familiar guys,clearly they're from my tuition class.Then,among them..I saw him..
Him in that hoodie I've always loved to see.I was sitting at a corner on a chair leaned against a wall,texting Adah every now and then.his very presence stunned me,both physically and text for Adah subsequently delayed.I caught myself having my eyes glued at him and him alone,nothing nor no one else.It was like being casted upon a magic spell.It was crazy! I tried to look away but i was too late.he spotted me and gave me a very mesmerizing smile,presumably as a sign of mere friendliness,yet little did he know that his smile and glimpse alone could make my heart race wildly.I turned away and didn't know what to do.My mind froze and i couldn't think straight.I wonder why this little encounter ever happened the first place as i was just having the time of my life,finally returning to the place i left a month ago.why God why?everything happens for a reason but what's this?are you telling me i shouldn't move on from the past? however,i don't blame God,He knows what's He's doing.this situation reminded me a lot of the two soulful songs I've always loved of Mika's, Erase and I See You.

in I See You,the lyrics go:
Could it be you fell for me?
And any possible similarity
If its all how would i know?
You never knew me at all but i see you
I'm standing across from you (but i see you)
I've dreamt alone now the dreams won't do (but i see you)
I'm standing across from you (but i see you)
I've dreamt alone now the dreams won't do (but i see you)
Truth be told my problem's old
You mean the world to me
But you'll never know
You could be cruel to me
While we're risking the way that i see you

while in Erase it goes:

My love.
I bet you can't erase!
My touch.
You're trying to replace, a feeling without a name, with somebody else's face!
In your head!

Everything's cool, your rent is paid; the house is clean, your bed is made.

But it's a ghost town in your mind.

We never had time to go to sleep, we'd wake up tangled in the sheets, on a bed, that we called home.

When the pain won't go away, you might as well, put your finger on the trigger...

the lyrics seem to speak my emotions well.only one thing to do now,learn how to forget no matter how extremely forgetful i can be.

easily forgive,hardly forget.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

New City,New Life

wow! it's been awhile since i've last updated this blog,simply because i have been very busy chasing datelines after,my life hasn't really changed much.moving to the new city I'm in,i expected major changes.indeed i was right but it's mroe to the positive changes.i love my new house! this condo is located directly beside my new school.
here's a little view of my appartment:

the view through my hall window.yes,our condo is opposite a natural pond and a forest reserve.magnificent outlook on nature ;)

this is the hallway that i grew to love so much,still empty when i photographed this though.

and the best part is,my new tuition totally rocks! it's located somewhere in dataran sunway,extremely near to chillax places,LOL.the facilities are cool too.(photos credits to )

chillaxx room.

receptionist?i've no idea,but it's a place where you swipe your student card for your attendance to be automatically marked in their computer system.also for payment of fees.

the classroom..

my favourite spot,the cafe (that doesn't really sell much,LOL).
did I mention my Physics and Addmaths tutors are cute? classmates look really diversified in races.i think i'm gonna love this place.

i guess that's all i need to blog about,at least in this post.i have something else to talk about in the next.stay put!

le damansarian-muarian girl.