Wednesday, December 28, 2011

It's a long way to the top

Any fans of AC/DC in the house?No? What about School of Rock? Anyone? The questions are actually related to the title of this post,which is 'stolen' by yours truly from one of the best and most inspiring song from the classic rock genre : It's a Long Way to the Top by none other than the legen...(wait for it) dary AC... (wait for it) DC! If you haven't heard of them,may God have mercy on your soul,LOL. You have not been blessed with real music and you need to get yourself to a musical rehab asap! to be perfectly honest,I used to be unaware of the epicness of classic rock until several rock-dedicated movies and documentaries became an eye-opener for me as a whole.I've experienced something we can proudly announce as MUSIC,as in the art,not the bullshit we have in 2011.Then again,that's not my area of focus for now.

"It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.."  brief,straight-forward,yet meaningful.

Nobody said rocking was a walk in the park.As all of you might have already known,I'm in a band called Band 93 (lame name,predictable significance,I know).We may be newly-formed but somehow we've developed a brotherhood-sisterhood bond over the weeks and hours of practicing together,so much so that I'm actually anticipating our next gig now that I'm missing my boys so terribly,and I guess I'm not the only one who gives a crap.Nadzmi was excited about our weekly planned jam sessions, Ken Yue is starting to come up with song suggestions and numerous arrangements in his head as I sat every midnight sharpening my guitar skills and sometimes,taking long showers thinking about the future of the band.Like wow,it's overwhelming enough that we,unlike Gastro Geeks, are definitely NOT a one-show band.Somehow,we stuck together since the MJ Night event,to the Twisties audition to Step Up and we're currently still waiting for the next gig to fall on our laps.

Speaking of the future,we clearly need more practice.We need to tighten the band.We are aware of our weaknesses and are willing to do a couple of sacrifices to rectify them.Then again,one question remains," How far do we want this band to go?" By the looks of it,we do have potential to get far,that is,if we manage to carve a niche and find our sound; and if we're lucky,stand out the right place and the right time to make it to the top.Admittedly,Malaysia has a very oversaturated musical industry whereby new talents sprout almost every minute and some of them do not get the exposure they deserve while other live by 'fame of their useful cables'.Each and every one of the members of Band 93 are committed full-time students,we only rock during our spare time and we have careers planned out for our future - relating to our respective courses,of course. Me & Ken Yue - future programmers,Nadzmi - future engineer, Neo - future lawyer, Adam - future chef, Josh - future journalist/broadcast manager.Music is our passion,it is something we fight for because it has done so much for us when words fail and when life felt meaningless at some points.

After much thinking,I suddenly recalled the moment when we all sat in a circle in the contestants' room back in KDU.I asked my bandmates : " How far will we get?" They answered me with , " We're only doing this for FUN."  Indeed,it wasn't the answer I had expected.Post-audition,we came to an epiphany. WE SUCK,but somehow,something stops us from giving up. I saw the rage in their eyes,I knew this was the right time to ask the same question again. "How far will we get?" They each answered exactly what I had predicted in my mind " Hollywood Boulevard!" As far-fetched as it may sound,it's more like a dare-devil's dream to me.Then again,it's never wrong to aim for the stars,as long as we work hard enough to get what we desire. :)

A tiny piece of advice from Cikgu JD : "in pursuit of the 'Hollywood dream' it should at the core of things, always be fun otherwise u stand 2 lose more than u gain."

Thank you sensei,for the guidance and never-ending support despite the fact I have failed your expectations once.I promise,it will never happen again. God bless you,JD Wong :)

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Life is a book God has Written about us

I'm supposed to be having a super productive weekend of working on my 5 assignments due within two weeks but instead,I don't know what's gotten in to me,I keep procrastinating to this day,only to know that the long weekend's over and tomorrow I gotta go for classes again.

Mission: work on English 450-word essay assignment on e-mails.
Time elapsed: 12 hours.
Progress: still in essay development plan.
Procrastination level : ASIAN.
Rank: Professional procrastinator and staller.

I've been reading too much 9gag and probably have been gaming too much too.This is exactly what you get for being "one of the boys",literally.Ever since I joined Band 93,I've been acting like a boy,but no worries,I still have high school crushes and cry like a girl xD well,back to the topic,I honestly have no idea what i've done all weekend.My productivity level decreases as I'm getting older and I know things are gonna get ugly if this persists.I need to get an epiphany of some sort to get my life back on track,I've been too out of focus lately and I give less fuck than I'm supposed to.It worries me in so many ways.I have had several tight slaps from life for keep delaying my tasks,yet somehow the "once beaten twice shy" proverb just doesn't take much effect on me,probably because I'm too thick-skinned,I dunno.Whatever it is,I promise, thou shalt not pass if thou  does not henceforth thy tasks << I have no idea what i'm saying,so just bear with me.

So as part of my reasons to delay my important tasks and screw up my non-existent supposedly-efficient schedule,I talked to Ken Yue (one of my closest friends).He needed a shoulder to cry on (or rather,to punch out his anger on) and he felt so demotivated.I had to say something,and for this,the philosophical side of me started to shine.He complained how life has been hard on him and whatever he does will meet failure sooner or later,I noticed the fact that I have been experiencing similar situation and I too,have crumbled.Crying was a good temporary remedy,yet it's insufficient to fully get rid off the root of the problem.In the pursuit of happiness,tears are bound to fall and people are bound to bleed,no matter who you are.No matter how suckish your life is,and no matter how much you feel like your life is not worth living anymore *cough*suicidal thoughts*cough*,always bear in mind that God made His creations the best that they could ever imagine to be,and His plans,although they're beyond our knowledge, are for nothing but the best.In my perspective,I look at life like a book,written by God.Moving on and not giving up after a tragedy is like reading the next chapter,if you don't do it,you will piss God off as He has made an effort to write one of the most epic stories about your life and yet you're being a bitch by not wanting to read it or even have a tiny peep on it at all.How would you feel if people don't appreciate your masterpiece?Let alone with the fact that God is a heavenly Being,therefore his superiority leaves you no choice but to go with His flow of the story,which for me will eventually hook you up with the most unexpected fairy tale ending you can ever think of.So why live in the past whilst you have a future to walk to?

Quoting Jurassic Park :"Life finds a way".

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas wish - Forbidden/Permissible?

Billie Joe & Adie's awkward Christmas guests.

Title speaks for itself.I guess,doubtlessly,I'm sure everyone regardless of where you are right now,is aware of what the significance of 25th December is right? yes,it's Isaac Newton's birthday! LOL.. kidding,as far as that is true,it is also the day the Christians believe to have been the day their lord Jesus Christ was born.In the Islamic context,Jesus Christ is Prophet Isa Alaihissalam,one of Allah's messengers before Prophet Muhammad SAW whilst the Christians believe that he is the son of God.Christmas is celebrated on the same day each year.Some views also mentioned the fact that Islam and Christianity have a lot in common,except for views on Jesus. However,the differences in belief is NOT what I'm gonna point out in this blog post; Instead,the issue of whether or not it's permissible to wish our Christian friends a merry Christmas.

There has been several clashes in opinion regarding this issue.There have been posts circulating around saying that it's forbidden to even greet your friends,with their arguments supported by the following quote from the holy al-Quran:

"Laakum diinukum waliyadiin.." - surah al-Kafirun,which translates : "Your religion is your own and my religion is my own."

Scholars have agreed that this quote forbids Muslims from being influenced by other religions' practices,but the posts I meant to talk about interprets it as forbidding Muslims to even greet their Christian friends for fear of wrecking our own faith.Then again,is "Merry Christmas" really a declaration of faith the same way the Syahadah is for us Muslims?Varily,according to my Christian friends,it's's only a harmless greeting,like Happy Chinese New Year or Deepavali Valthukel.In fact,even the Christians wished us Selamat Hari Raya or Happy Eid Mubarak,yet I don't see their Christianity being affected in any way at all (they're still Christians),unless of course,they've been interested in Islam all along.In my view,it's quite silly to make tight restrictions without proper logic or base.Didn't our Prophet Muhammad SAW teach us to accept diversity in race and religion? Didn't Allah mention in his Holy books that we must tolerate our differences and live as one in order for the world to prosper?

I speak with evidence from a Quranic verse:
O mankind, We created you from a single pair of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that you may know each other [49:13].

I admit,I am not one who is educated enough to interpret the Holy book,but my faith,and my knowledge is deep enough for me to know that Islam is a religion of tolerance,and by tolerance I mean we must not make our racial and religious differences a barrier that breaks our unity apart.For this,I conclude that I find the argument made by 'those posts' to be invalid.

to my Christian friends,wherever you are,if you're reading this, Merry Christmas and a Happy new year! also,happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends,and Happy Barmitsvah to the Jehovah's witnesses.

bottomline: to me,a greeting is permissible in Islam,as long as you do not celebrate or join their religious activities.

Friday, December 23, 2011

7 Months..and counting

I can't believe how fast time flies.It's been 7 months since i first met you,came to know your name,and all the madness began. I didn't expect a slight crush to go this far,and never in my life have I remembered so many details about a guy on the first day I met him.

I remember what you wore,how you approached me,what we talked about,and I remember every single line and every single thing we did.

It was 3 days before you turned the legal age.Happy 7 months,friend?... love? I wouldn't know,but I've never waited for a guy this long,and I've never felt something like this before.

To this day,I haven't given up,and I'm still wasting my wishes on you,wishing that one day I will be able to tear your walls apart and break into your ribcage to steal your heart/take my heart back from you.

But for now,I'm looking forward to the next cup of coffee I have with you,on a rainy day,with nothing but silence.

Monday, December 19, 2011

I Can Wait Forever

The above line was quoted from Simple Plan's "I Can Wait Forever",a song that's currently speaking my mind and my heart unlike any other. Self-explanatory much? And why the sudden mention of it you ask?

He defended me like a gentleman,he helped me carry my heavy loads,everything he does just makes me swoon and think of him all night.

Also,I had a dream about him.It was beautiful,he was beautiful,the moment was perfect.It went on repeat and the second I realize it was a dream,I didn't wanna wake up if it wasn't for college.

Please visit me in my dreams again <3

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Step Up! For Charity Concert - behind the scenes

First of all,on behalf of Band 93,I'd like to thank the organizers of Step Up! for Charity Concert (Taylor's School of Architecture & Design - Foundation in Natural Build Environment) for allowing us to get a spot to perform in the Talent Show to raise fund for the Malaysian Kidney Foundation.'twas an event held for a good cause whereby admission tickets are priced at RM15,proceeds were to go to the health foundation usual,Band 93 being Band 93,we wouldn't wanna miss a single opportunity to gain both experience AND exposure,however,there were only 5 of us instead of our usual 6 because Adam decided to perform on his own this time.also,a few changes have been made,not on the line-up but more to what the line-up does.

- Neo remained the vocalist.
-I remained the guitarist,but this time i'm only playing rhythm and i had to backup Neo's singing.
-Ken Yue remained the drummer and ever-so-stressed-out manager.
-Nadzmi went from bassist to lead guitarist.
-Josh went from keyboardist to bassist.Interesting story here,he messed up the date on his mind and thought yesterday was only gonna be our band meeting day and the event was on some other day.The best part was he had a pre-baptism course AND a complimentary dinner to attend,all on the same night.Solution?We borrowed a bass from one of the guest performers and Josh skipped his other events to be our bassist.Things we'd do for the band :') Passion is indeed power.

Back to the story,all of us had to stay back in uni until nightfall.Ken Yue and I had classes until 12-ish.For a second,when our lecturer almost made us stay back to finish up our Asian level context diagram and Level Zero Diagram,she actually let us out earlier than we expected.We then moved on to our little 'headquarters',SLC (Student Life Centre-where us students go during our free time to get a life,thus the name,lol) for our band meeting.Nadzmi had been around since 10am considering the fact that he no longer had classes to worry about.Josh and Neo showed up a few minutes later and the discussion began.Then again,song arrangement only took 1% of the discussion time,the remaining 99% was all about 9Gag jokes and other unrelated stuff.Eventually at about 1pm,the meeting ended and Nadzmi left for Friday prayers while me,Ken Yue and Mahirah went for lunch in Subway.Neo had classes and Josh stayed in SLC to catch up some foosball and pool sessions with Adam.When we came back to SLC,Mahirah left for her classes and we decided to have a little 'warm-up' while waiting for Neo to come.Let's just say our band has our own way of chilling before a performance.

Josh taking a chill pill as we had our meeting.

Ken Yue and I had a little friendly pool match,I almost got him but I lost the game by one ball,dammit!

And then Neo showed up earlier than expected and helped me own Ken Yue.

Nadzmi's intense foosball match with idea who won,but they pretty much stalled us from going to the studio on time,lol.worth it though,the more stressful the game went,the more thrilling it was.

According to Ken Yue,he booked the studio at 3pm,but he then postponed it to 3.30pm because Neo had classes from 2.00-3.30pm.After goofing off until about 3:45pm,we only showed up in the studio at about 4.30pm LOL.We hitched Josh's ride and there was coincidentally a massive jam along the way.We then had a super rapid run-through of the song,altered some parts (which sparked some silly,childish argument among one another) and finally met a point of agreement when we had only 10 minutes left before we're supposed to return to uni for soundcheck at 5pm.Obviously we didn't make it on time and ended up soundchecking at 6.30pm++ instead of the actual time.There was yet another traffic clog up on our way back to uni considering the fact that we made a move at the exact same time the office staffs are going home.More 9Gag jokes to kill time,and some other crappy topics. Oh,did I mention Ken Yue accidentally leaving his phone in the studio and I lost my guitar tuner?

We reached the venue at about 6-ish and had to wait for the other bands to soundcheck first.Meanwhile,we managed to rehearse a little bit,grab some free food from the organizers as dinner and some other private businesses.Staircase rehearsal FTW! The show started at 8pm with the awesome Rhythm Nation and Seconds to Collide (which made Josh slept soundly like a baby).Then there was this speech by the dude from Malaysian Kidney Foundation and the show began.

Highlights of the night were:
1. The dancers who did a dance medley. (couldn't tell if the other dancer was a male or a female until we saw... whatever that needs to be seen to identify her identity LOOOOOOOL)
2.Ping (Lady gaga) who nailed Bad Romance with her showmanship and somewhat vocal strength.
3.An acoustic band consisting a guitarist (who reminded me of Sasi the Don,in terms of hairstyle) a really powerful singer and a cajon player (whom the audience deemed as 'box guy').The minute they were requested an encore,we knew they were gonna win something.

Then it finally came to our turn.I met one of the Sharifah sisters (Sharifah Alesha) and her bf backstage,they were to perform after us.The dude mentioned the fact that he seldom saw tudung girls such as myself picking up electric guitar,and I predicted that he might compare me to Yuna or Najwa Latiff,so I beat him to it,pointing out that i started guitar way before it was cool.Alesha wished us luck and we went into the limelight.We did a little set-up while Neo stalls the crowd and the show began! Long story short,Bad Romance intro was epic,until the bridge came when I rapped in the wrong key and Neo was somewhat influenced by me.It was then when the rest of us started to fuck up as well,Ken Yue's drum beats were everywhere,Josh played the wrong bass notes (or perhaps he forgot to retune the bass) and Nadzmi also did a minor error in his guitar solo.I guess Ping pretty much saved the show when she showed up on stage with us as we planned,so I figured maybe no one noticed all the fuck ups we made.This is where showmanship comes in handy ;) at that particular point,i knew we had no chance to win,so we decided that we were doing it for fun.Adam had the finale spot and nailed Sunday Morning & Rolling In The Deep.

Next there was this awesome band called The Metaphor.Hands down,the tightest instrumental band ever! Nadzmi bought their CD for RM18 and we agreed to share it with him.

We then had a little band photography session before I ran to Starbucks where my brother had been waiting for me for the past 45minutes.So fucked but so fun,LOL.

That was it people,one of the best shows I've had in my life in spite of lack of practice and alot of other fucked up factors.Still,I got to experience Line 6 Spider III amp,for fuck's sake it was damn amazing!

More pictures and footage of the performance coming soon.Stay tuned,I'll make an all visual version of this post later.Toodles folks!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Living Lavigne-da Loca!

Buy me a Rock Zone ticket for my advanced 19th birthday present and i swear i will love you forever,LOL.this is all I ever wanted,yes,Avril Lavigne is in my bucket list of artists i would love to see before i die.i would reveal my whole bucket list but that would take up a whole lotta posts.for now,just know that if you're wondering what to give me for my birthday,get me a ticket! please! i'm not asking much,don't have to get me fancy teddy bears or clothes or chocolates,just pool money for all i care and get me a goddamn Avril concert ticket! hehe

wow first Simple Plan and now her!!! i hope Tune Talk stops bringing all these awesome people in one year,i need $$$ for tickets!

If I were A Millionaire

I've been talking to one of my closest friends about his dream he had about winning RM20Mil.he told me it was exciting at first but after awhile,it gets boring because he wouldn't know what to do with the rest of the money he has.however,if i were him,i would know exactly how i would spend each and every single cent i own.

for starters,of course as a Muslim it's an obligation to go for pilgrimage,so i would spend around maybe rm100k for that,which means i will be taking my family members with me.i will set aside 20% of my wealth for zakah and charity.speaking of charity,i aim to help those countries at war especially Syria and Palestine.i'll make an expedition to these countries and help the children.i'll also try to help as many cancer patients as possible.

then i'll change my phone,maybe to a typical Blackberry,get myself a Samsung Galaxy Tab in replacement to my old laptop.

afterwards maybe i'll buy a house; but i'm not planning to get myself a 10-million dollar mansion,no sir.i'll only get myself an ordinary pent house that overlooks the view of the city,maybe i'll get one in Los Angeles and another one in KL.

with that done,I'll get myself a car,again nothing fancy considering the fact that i'm not really the best driver in the world,wouldn't wanna damage a car that costs a fortune now would we?haven't quite gotten a proper thought on what type of car will i be getting,but there's a high probability that i will get myself a Jaguar,or any of those fancy convertible cars with roofs i can opt to open or close.

in terms of music,i plan to start a business,open a recording and jamming studio somewhere in KL,hire a few musicians to teach musical instruments in the studio,hire a few audio experts to handle recordings,and have a special studio reserved for Band would look like a mini house where we can all jam in overnight and treat like our own homes,so that we can churn out music anytime we want for absolutely free.i will have proper drumsets for my drummer,proper amps for my guitarists,bassist and keyboardist as well as proper mics and audio interfaces for our own personal use and also for the recording business.we would be the next KRU,except we're not siblings.with all the money i have,we can collaborate with any bands we love,Avril,Simple Plan,you-name-it.i could also have Green Day to perform in my backyard for my private birthday party.

i'll use the rest of my money to invest in large scale businesses,maybe McDonald's or anything i love.i'd travel the world to all the continents and places i've always wanted to visit,and i'll finally meet the celebrities i've been meaning to meet.

my dream wedding?i want a simple garden wedding with only the closest relatives and acquaintances invited,at the Himalayas or somewhere in Maldives,any sandy beaches will do.i don't want something like Kim Kardashian,too much of a fuss and it doesn't even last.and i don't even care if my husband gives me a diamond ring or not,what's important is,i get married to the man I love and that we vow to keep each other for better or for worse.but i really want Christina Perri to perform A Thousand Years at my wedding,hihih.

okay..back to planet earth.wouldn't it be fun to be a millionaire?set aside the possibilities of getting pursued by mafias and assassins of course.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Drops of Jupiter in my hair

"Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
Even when I know you're wrong?

Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance
Five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way?

But tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated?

And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself?"

-"Drops of Jupiter" by Train.

do you guys remember this song back from the 90's? back in the days,music was like poetry with tunes,beautiful and abstract.this song,for instance,is one of the deepest songs i've known to love,but only know have I discovered the title and surprisingly,the songwriter is the dude who sings Hey Soul Sister! i fell in love with it instantly,just like seeing an old lover across the street and discovering that you still had feelings for him after all these years.right here,right now,in spite of all the interpretations of the wordings of this song,i find that the meaning behind it has something i can totally relate to right now: it's about a girl who loves a guy so much but then realizes that she has yet to find herself,only then can she love whole-heartedly,but the journey of self-discovery took so long that both her and the guy had changed personality wise.the guy then realizes bout her feelings,but it was too late because she might have already moved on.the song is about the guy hoping for her well-being,and hoping that she still remembers him and all the moments they once shared.could that happen to me and you?

a few months ago,i decided to do some self-discovery practices,reflecting on why none of my romantic relationships seem to work ever since i was much younger to this day,and why is it that i have little/no control over my own feelings,and it turned out i was afraid of commitments all was a shocking thing to find out,and it explained a lot about why i am so allergic to the word 'marriage',just mentioning the word gives me goosebumps,let alone discussing about it.i know,i'm not getting any younger,but it was clear to me that my feelings should be tamed and i should not overthink about them too much because i am not mentally and physically ready to fall in love or be in a serious relationship yet.i may think like a 30-year-old,but a part of me is still a child,with great fear of getting hurt again.past relationships haven't been good to me and they left me with traumatizing experiences,there was even a time when i hated the male population so much that i didn't even want to be friends with them.i guess shutting down my feelings will be the best resort for now,then again,i can't keep pretending i feel nothing while in truth,all i ever think about is you.i thought "out of sight,out of conversation,out of mind" would actually work out,but it doesn't.the less i see you,the less i talk to you,the less i talk ABOUT you,the more my mind thinks about you,and the more it assumes "what if".i tried to avoid talking about you with hopes that the feeling might go away on its own but i was dead wrong.the same consequence goes for my attempt to look for your flaws,i keep seeing your perfections drives me nuts sometimes to know that,thus far,you're the most perfect guy i've ever sucks even more that i secretly waste my wishes on you,even with the knowledge that wishing for a miracle to happen is beyond idiotic.i don't really know what keeps me waiting,i should be moving on by now but no,my heart insists on me to keep waiting for a shooting star to fall on my lap.i notice how we seldom talk or spend time with each other as much as before,i feel the void between us and the distance is growing wider as the days go it worth fighting for anymore?i'm sick and tired of all these crappy,delusional fairy tale endings i keep making up in my head,all these just have to it too much to ask for if i want these feelings to go away and we return to normal?i'm not sure if it's just me or are you tremendously changing into something i fear the most?i miss the old you,the crazy you,the sweet and gentleman you.why do you have to ruin it?why do my feelings always have to get in the way of an awesome friendship?i keep an unintentional recording of us having fun,we laughed,we joked,we had so much fun.what does it take to have those moments back?

i miss you,a lot that it hurts sometimes,and i wish you would just leave,so i have a reason to carry on life without you,and let go of all these false hope,and stop wasting my wishes on you.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Can't keep my hands off you

chill people,i ain't no perv xD that's the song that's been playing on my mind,so much so that it's been a part of my musical dreams for many nights already.yes you did read that correctly,MUSICAL DREAMS.somehow i've been having glee-style dreams where people would randomly break out into a dance routine in the middle of hallways to the catchy tunes on my mp3,strange indeed.also,the past few nights,i've been extremely insomniac for some reason and yesterday,my body finally condemned on me,missed half the classes and spent most of my time in the sick bay.

and so what i thought was gonna be a dreadful hospital ward-like place turned out to be heavenly.entering the place alone,i was greeted by the friendly faces,who then offered me temporary treatment.they provided me with hot milo and i rested for about an hour before they prescribed me 2 panadols.feeling drowsy,i slept for about another hour before leaving for lunch with Mahirah.Actifast works wonders yo! and it's pretty awesome that the sick bay provided first class treatment for absolutely no additional charges at all,well apparently facilities were first class,hands down.

And then there's that terrifying blackout experience.I was downstairs,alone,doing work as always when a short circuit occurred with one of the switches in my house and the whole place went pitch was 4am and i had that "shit :)" face.used my laptop as a torch light,went upstairs and straight to bed.i guess it's the universe's way of forcing me to sleep.yeah it worked,because if there's one weakness in the world,mine would be fear of insomniac days are over! for now.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


This is a little bit overdue,and I have indeed abandoned my blog for four days straight now,blame my unstable internet because of the gloomy weather.SO Saturday was an awesome day with me,despite the really..let's just say tensed up morning starting with me rushing and running up and down One Utama to catch Breaking Dawn Part 1 with the girls,i was half an hour late and it's already been 20minutes pass the beginning of it,then again,I felt as if i didn't miss much.the movie was really disappointing to say the very least,too many scenes spent on the honeymoon after Edward & Bella's wedding,and Jacob just HAD to be bipolar about everything,and the fact that Bella didn't die conceiving Renesmee' is a little bit puzzling (although we ALL want her to survive).The ending that showed Bella as a vampire really let me down in so many ways,don't know if part 2 will be worth watching.It sucks how movies can make the masterpiece seem so dull.Then again,i'm not giving up on Twilight Saga yet,na'ah! let's see how the director manipulates part 2.

Enough about Twilight,now let's focus on how the girls have been.Nothing much changed,simply because our reunion occurred 2 months after our so-called 'separation'.The girls had been good and finally adjusting to their courses so far.It's good to hear everyone's been well and they were slightly jealous with the fact that I'm ending my foundation soon,hehe.

so this one was an unexpectedly awesome self-portrait of all of us on the bridge connecting the old wing and new wing of One Utama.guess what we took it with... my epic Sony Ericsson k510i! i swear,that phone has a standard of an ordinary camera! 

Our lunch at Pizza Hut,decided to try out the new Cheesy 7 cheesy lava pizza,ordered a regular and it turned out smaller than we expected,sigh... things are getting too expensive these days.didn' quite enjoy the cream cheese on top,but the rest of the cheeses were awesome!

So right after lunch,we decided to take a stroll around One Utama,the girls did some shopping while the rest of us just talked.Yen picked me up and we left for Klang at about 5pm.MANY tolls,MANY missed turnings,MANY 'clock settings' of roundabouts and MANY phone-calls-asking-for-directions later... we finally reached Zul's house in Taman Botanic,Klang.took us a good deal of 30 minutes to get to Klang,while the remaining time was spent on looking out for land marks and trying to remember the exact directions.They had already blasted music by the time we arrived,and cooking was initiated when everyone arrived.

Ang Yu helping Miss Hema in handling the marinated BBQ meats. 

Yen grilling ze chicken wings..Ken Yue helped too,but couldn't get a shot of him somehow.

The July intake FIC and FIC March (Seelan) talking.

To be perfectly honest,although the whole BBQ party was fun and Zul was so damn accommodating,I feel tad uncomfortable with the fact that it involved liquor and I was glad I left before everyone had gotten high.I heard it was funny though,most of the boys got drunk and lost what's left of their sanity,not to mention their hilarious hangover the next day.

The rest was history,however today,was one of the most perfect days of my life.I've never felt this happy for ages! in fact,i don't recall being THIS happy in my entire life at all,and the best part is,it's not a big deal too.It all started with my mom showing me these...

Yes,I did ask mum to buy these for me,and yes I paid them myself,except the other pair which belong to my cousins.Yes SP is one of my bucketlist bands,but the dream that comes the night after getting so excited about it was the best dream ever,thus far.It was simple,but enough to make my day.

Right: the dream goes.. I went to Subway for lunch and ordered my Italian BMT.suddenly someone in the restaurant in excited,not terrified,and everyone turned to look.Lights went out and spotlights were everywhere.i recognize that catchy drum beat and riffs! Can't Take My Hands Off You was on and the members of Simple Plan performed in Subway! the waitres and waitresses were dancing while prepping my meal,and all of us just randomly started to break out into a choreographed Grease-like dance on the tables,counters,you-name-it! EPIC.DREAM.EVER.

So,lemme get this straight,a combined craving for Subway's Italian BMT sandwich + pre-concert anxiety = awesome dream? i should do this more often eh,less emo,more epic dreams! :) me gusta.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Walking Contradiction

seriously,I've killed myself several times in my mind to get rid off my problems once i've "resurrected".I commit suicide in my imagination in so many hilarious yet legit methods (oxymoronic much?).There was one time when imagined tying myself up against a tree in Isla Sorna and letting a T-rex feed on me,the other one was what Billie Joe is doing : imaginations can run very wild and when it does,the other side of me shows,the one that everyone seldom sees unless you're very close to insanity is beyond predictions,it can come anytime it wants.but anyway,back to the main topic,I've been ranting on twitter about something I'm not allowed to do,which to me,sucks big time.Fine,i don't care about my curfews being tight,and my finance being overly-monitored despite of my legal much for being 18,as I said,it's never as I expected.where's the freedom people have been all hyped up about once we reach this age anyway?I see no differences at all.I'm back on SS Forever 15,and I don't think the coming of age has any effects on people's perspectives on me.they still think i'm that hopeless loser who doesn't know how to take matters into her own hands,they still think i'm that 15-year-old who needs to crawl back to mummy for shelter.Come on.. I'm capable of doing my own decisions now,no matter how stupid they can turn out to be and no matter what the consequences are.If I don't make any mistakes,how on earth will I learn? have you thought over how my survival would be like if you're not around and I have to cope on my own?this is MY way of preparing myself for such possibilities.You're not getting any younger,so am I.what's the deal here,all I wanted is to take some responsibilities and challenge myself to keep it,and you're stopping me?i feel intimidated that people underestimate my decision-making abilities.I am in the computing course for a reason,to learn problem solving,and this includes problems applicable to real life as well,not just algorithms.If you refuse to let me grow up and fly,how on earth will I face the real world when I'm supposed to?I'd be lost and dead as a duck.It's simple,I make mistakes and learn from them.I'm in the age group where spoon-feeding is plainly impractical.Adolescence is the time when people try new things,take (well-calculated) risks,think of possibilities and learn from their own stupidity if the solution they thought of were to fail,epicly.You have to accept the fact that I'm older than I used to be,and people would just be stunned if they knew I'm not independent enough yet at this age.sure,they can label me whatever they want back in the days,I'll just back myself up saying I wasn what's the limitation now?what's the hold-up?I made so many decisions on my own,I'm pretty sure this one won't fail.I've looked through the pros and cons,and I can say my analytical skills I developed through the course I'm enrolled in have helped me alot.To be perfectly frank,and with no ego intended,I'm doing fine without your help.I'll ask for advice when I need it,other times,don't bother wasting your energy trying to stop me,unless i decided to do something as stupid as murdering someone or pre-marital adultery,in that case you can screw me up all you want coz those are clearly wrong morally and ethically.When exactly are you planning to let me grow up?When I'm married and move out of the house?Cool plan,bro.I may be a walking contradiction,but I can tell you this,I can handle it.This is also exactly why i hide a few things from you,situation has forced me to do it,I really wanna learn from the mistakes I made on my own and not from some grandfather stories I hear,those are other people's experiences,first-hand information for the win! then again,i can never deny your intentions are well,but like a bird,you ahve to let me out of the nest sometimes and train myself to fly.notice how adult birds don't carry their babies along when they fly and let their babies fly on their own once their wings are ready?I believe I'm a pre-adult now,and I need to how to fly soon.Give me a chance,if this fails,you can call me an
idiot and start taking control of my whole life,have we gotten ourselves a deal? :)

apart from that drama,I've also an epic quote I typed on FB to share with all of ya.
"if someone ignores you after all the thinking space you wasted on them,then they're not worth your time,spit,energy and/or blog space.therefore,they should no longer exist in the chapters of your life,or ever be brought up."

pretty much applies to all the drama that's been happening guys would know who yourselves are,hell yeah,I'm aiming this to you! then again,NOTHING anybody says will ever break me down anymore.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

We Killed It,Now It's Back to seek Vengeance

"I'm just a kid,and life is a nightmare.Nobody wants to be alone, and the whole world's having more fun than me.." - I'm Just a Kid by Simple Plan.

I woke up in the morning with this song ringing in my head,it was as if someone embedded an automated music player for me in my eardrums.It totally made my day,but little did I know that this song would be the perfect theme for the domino of shits i was gonna face today.
The day kicked off to a pretty good start,traffic was smooth and i managed to reach campus on time,class also ended early and Zech treated me for breakfast in Old Town,where I randomly met Neo and ended up eating with him and Zech.Again,I bumped into Josh,previously I bumped into him in Subway for lunch.Weird how you keep seeing the same person no matter how big the campus is and no matter how many students are around.Destiny can be a very deadly thing,hmm.Speaking of destiny,remember how we used to mess with the lecturers and then prove ourselves worthy by passing our exams with awesome distinctions?Adjusting with uni life was one challenge,adapting to the fast-paced syllabus with little or no tutorial aids at all is another.Semester 1 had been bittersweet,I make friends and lose friends along the way,and I learnt alot about social and working ethics too.It has been quite stressful due to the compressed timeline.Some of us might not make it through,then again,we survived! We're still alive woohoo! Then again,do note that whenever you 'cheat death',death will always find a way to seek vengeance? Just because we survived the first semester (or shall I say,first phase apocalypse). I admit,none of us had been making much effort to understand and practice the stuff that the lecturers teach u.What's the wakeup call? The outstanding number of failures in our previous Maths test.Thank you God,for making us realise it before we keep fooling around.

p/s: something went terribly wrong with my phone today.i missed 3 texts and FIVE optional shoes+clothes+mumbo=jumbo.
wait... that didn't make any sense,am i really that tired?sorry,i absent-mindedly typed that,seriously.and I plan to NOT delete it because it's ridiculous haha. what i meant to say was,i missed 3 texts,and almost 14 phone calls(of which I'm glad neither one of them came from my mom,means my ass is saved).my phone didn't notify me about any of these.time has come for me to get a new one perhaps?

i found this at hero in his high school days! guess which one he is :)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Tiger Roars Tonight

lol Paul is back?

So the higlight of tonight was of course the finals of the SEA Games football match between arch nemesis Indonesia and Malaysia.Malaysia had made it to the semifinals after defeating Indonesia,and again,fate had brought them together in one field (okay i might have put that in the wrong way,but you get the idea). There were practically hundreds of thousands of local supporters who rooted for Indonesia,and if it wasn't for their self-motivation and inner strength,the Malaysian team might have crumbled from inside out upon hearing all the mocks and insults thrown by the unethical spectators.However,their effort of demotivating our team was in vain as the players remained calm and professional throughout the game.The match was neck-and-neck and I can say that the opposing team actually utilized the same tactics used by Germany during World Cup 2010,pretending to fall to stall the game.Indonesia was leading at first with a score of 1-0.By then,the audience in all typical mamak stalls and even in the comfort of their own living rooms (such as myself) started to shout on top of our lungs,cheering for the team.It's a miracle how this ball-chasing game can break our difference barrier and unite us as one.Patriotism does wonders.After intense tackling of the ball and numerous wasted open goals,our team finally caught up with a score of 1-1,thanks to Nazmi Faiz. The game ended up in a tie and penalty kicks were given out to determine the winner.It was so close,but thanks to the awesome Malaysian goalie cum hero, Khairul Fahmi Che Mat, our goal was saved at the eleventh minute,and somehow our final goal scored was Godsent as the Indonesian goalie actually managed to catch the ball,but with God's will,the ball slipped out of his grip and rolled right into the goal.Alhamdulillah.We have proven ourselves worthy of the gold medal,and at least now we have improved our reputation in the football field.Way to go Harimau Malaya!


Friend Zone = Danger Zone?

"I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that." - James Rhinehart

Why the sudden quote you ask?Simple,it's closely related to the drama that's been happening to my life lately.As the title implies,friend zone could be a danger zone if you let it go too far.Those two words are deadly enough to terrify lovers,be it mutual or one-sided.Once you're in it,things will never be the same for the both of you.Then again,friend zones can also be a good thing if you take it in a positive way.When you're friends,or rather,best friends, you tend to share most of your time and experiences together,and there should be enough trust to break the secret barrier,or in other words "your secret is mine and vice versa".There shouldn't be any restrictions of some sort and you are free to share any random thoughts or emotions.A friend is simply a friend,but a best friend is your ultimate shoulder to cry on.You run to them in your sorrow,and also run to them when you need a laugh.It's all sweet and innocent until something happens to alter every single thing that has been the fundamental to your close-knit relationship.As I may have mentioned before,trust is like glass,you can't just randomly throw it at people as it is super fragile; once broken,it can never be the same ever again.Words,on the other hand,are stronger that swords.Physical weapons stab you in the heart and you die an instant death but when it comes to words,it stabs you in the same area,the only difference is that the pain is gradual,it gets worse with time and sometimes the scar ceases to heal and before you knew it,you have a permanent wound within you,waiting for the right time to bleed again.Too many a time have I encountered an epiphany revealing which friends are quality ones and which ones don't suppose to mean that much.It doesn't bother me until I realize that one of the friends i should grow apart from is someone I used to be super close to,someone i trusted with my life and shared my ups and downs with.It's not fair.Was it really a misunderstanding or is it a skeleton in the closet?Whatever it is,it sure is digging a great big hole in the ground to bury all our thoughts,memories and visions of being somewhat the musketeers forever.Things will never be the same,and it hurts me to think that this is dejavu,and what makes it even more painful is the realization that I miss us.What exactly just happened?How did things revolve so fast?Why did we grow apart instead of grow up together?Will this ever end?Then again,it was your fault for not trying to make things better.We tried but we eventually got tired of this one-sided effort.

I miss us...though.I can't deny.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Tales from Taylor's Mid-lake

wow,it's amazing how I managed to refrain myself from blogging for almost a whole week,well Mahirah,challenge accepted and mission accomplished! :) it wasn't much of self-control,rather it's because I've been busy lately. I performed for CommFest on 11/11/11 with Dex,we did two songs : Zombie by Cranberries and Wish You Were Here by Avril.couldn't quite make use of my elecoustic because of the broken inner circuit,so i used my electric guitar like a boss,haha. the show went well,crowd was highly responsive although there were only a few of them,we were unlucky our slot was placed after Friday prayers,most people have already left for class.nevertheless,it was my first time singing and playing.great experience though,and we had some goodies from the sponsors.although i proclaimed that performance as my final one in 2011,it doesn't mean i'm going to quit just means i've had too many shows in a year and i need a break of some projects and requests are still welcomed though!
enough about last week's story. this week my appetite had gotten bizarre and all i could think of is food food food! gastronomy had gotten the better of me and i think i spent waaay to much on lunch this week! then again,take a look at these!

Apple strudel with strawberry ice cream in Ohana's. i swear,it's the best dessert I've  ever awesome combination of apple goodness,with hot pastry and perfectly smooth strawberry ice cream.

 This,on the other hand,is the el perfecto chicken teriyaki bento from Oishi Bento,a good deal of rm9.90,served with miso soup and green tea (free flow!). worth it.lasted till dinner.

i suspect my infinite hunger comes from the coldness of the weather outside,it's been raining cats and dogs almost everytime we blink,notice that?you can never leave the house without an umbrella anymore (not that i'm bothered to have one as a must though). i love the rain! sometimes i'll purposely choose the outdoor route to my classes during gentle showers just to walk in the mild coldness.would love to someday dance in it but of course,not in public xD then again,sometimes heavy downpours just creep me out.a few days ago the weather had gotten a wee bit too out of hand..

Picture speaks for itself.About 2-inches of water flooded the hallways of Taylor's Lakeside,making it into wading pools,thus Taylor's Mid-lake xD it was so bad to the extent of puddles flowing into our class which was situated on the EIGHTH floor of block D.don't get me started on the weather in general,I can hand it to Mother Nature,it scared the shit outta each and everyone of us.strong wind and unidirectional shower majorly resembled a potential hurricane! I was glad it subsided just in time for me to make a move back home.Road was super jammed as usual,and we took about triple our journey period to finally reach my place.I fell asleep halfway through so I didn't quite notice which part of the highway was clogged up.

Speaking of clogged up,lately I've been meaning to upgrade my laptop OS from Vista to Windows 7,finally?system's now up and running faster than before,then again the graphic card issue hasn't been resolved thus far,laptop display is temporarily running on VGA,which,hands down, sucks like eggs. Can't even get decent graphic quality when I watch the movies I torrented(yes I do know how to torrent now,weeee).I need to get to the bottom of this soon.

On another note,I am proud to be single woohoo! but it does get lonely and depressing sometimes,and there are times when all I wanna do is have something to divert my attention from all things one lonely afternoon,my friend and I were the only two who were free to have lunch together.considering how we're both coincidentally feeling a lil down in the dumpst.out of fun,we pretended to be a couple for a day.we had lunch together and texted each other in be honest,I couldn't really survive a day of commitment in a relationship,i guess everyone was right when they say that I'm not really the girlfriend type yet.i've gotten slightly annoyed when my 'boyfriend' gets jealous everytime he found out i'm hanging out with his arch scenario was when he was at the library and my lecturer released the class early,so I had about one hour to kill. he said he was studying so i decided to hang out with my bandmate (his rival).when he discovered it,he immediately came down and pulled me to accompany him to 7E,YES literally pulled about touch barriers eh, was fun nevertheless,although i do confess clingy guys make me sick.i'm not ready for anything serious clearly,i am now too selfish.guess it's a fact i have to accept.maybe shutting down my feelings for the opposite sex for the timing might actually work out for me.

then again,i won't deny,no matter how many guys i fake-date,i appreciate the moment with GP the's too valuable and it sucks that it has to end soon before it even began.he's leaving,far or near i'm not quite sure,as much as i miss him, every time i see him there's a lump in  my throat,preventing me to say even a word and whenever he comes online,my hands freeze upon the click of his name on my chatbox.i miss the times when i can just be a complete goofball in front of him and he would be like a total asshole to complement my fact, the only time i can act as such in his presence is when we're among the boys.i feel so alive and my feelings for him somewhat become idle.i miss those moments when we stop thinking and just start having fun. i hate these feelings,they often get in the way. i just wanna do stupid random things and get in trouble with you,mindless little acts that bind us into one.when I'm with you,i feel like a kid again.i want this back,i don't want this heartache to get to the better of me.I miss you GP. is it too late to revert to how we used to be?

Monday, November 14, 2011

You're Already The Voice Inside My Head

recognize the quotes from somewhere?heck yeah you're right! they're lines from one of my favorite songs,"I Miss You" by Blink 182.I've been wondering what the significance of the names were about,and I finally found out sometime this year,it's the names of the lovebirds from Nightmare Before Christmas! I'm not quite sure about the storyline of the movie,it's an old one,almost my age,and is a masterpiece of the great Tim Burton,so i doubt that it would suck in any way.finally managed to download the full movie,i'll watch it tomorrow woohoo! some say it's a romantic yet twisted version of the Grinch,that should be interesting I guess.the dark theme somehow attracted me in so many a matter of fact,i'm more into horror movies lately.I'm also planning to download and re-watch The Jurassic Park Trilogy,Jeepers Creepers,Friday the 13th and some other new movies I have yet to browse for.dear internet,please be nice to me.I have too many things in mind to download,LOL.

p/s: I miss you so bad it actually hurts sometimes.Although i don't talk to you,it doesn't mean i don't care.I'm just glad you're doing well,and it's good to see you online.It lets me know indirectly that you're still in good shape and the right state of health.I really wanna spend more time with you,because you're in the "maybe leaving next year" hurts to know all these will end soon.I need something I could use to remember you by,please? in return,i'll give you something to remember me by,that is,if you still want to.

Monday, November 7, 2011


Leanna's Blogdrenaline Domain goes live on podcast in full frequency! check it out yo :) click HERE

Live back to back after the Faiz Azman show at 9:00pm,before Ngee Myeh Show at 10:30pm.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

I'm Gonna Give All My Secrets Away

"I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess

Til’ all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I’ve said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I’ve been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect line
Don’t care if critics never jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away"

Secrets by One Republic

Ever had those days when a song gets stuck in your head and plays on loop all day and all night?I had 'Use Somebody' by Kings of Leon,followed by Wish You Were Here by Avril and now this song.In my case,I have reasons why certain songs get stuck in my head; it's always either the strength of the melody or the lyrics.I have indeed been keeping a lot of secrets from people around me,even those who are proclaimed as 'close'.For instance,my insomnia is back,so is my anger management issues.It's all due to the irregular pattern of meals and sleep,not to mention the amount of stress u had to handle for the past few days.I might or might have not mentioned this in any of my blog posts,but a few months ago i've been having weird dreams regarding him (from now on i shall refer to him as weirdo).it was gone for a few weeks,then when the stress came back,so did the dreams.

As the song goes: I'm gonna give all my secrets away.

What dream you say? I confess,I have fantasized being together with him,and at night my brain generates affectionate dreams of us being together.To be frank,in Dreamland, we kissed and woke up in the morning to each other's smiles.Anything in between was perfectly innocent,and it was all sleep.It's bizarre to know that this is just a sign that my feelings for weirdo has grown deeper than i thought it would.It's also bizarre how i'm still not giving up on him,what's the matter with me?every damn day i'll waste my wishes and prayers on him,begging to the One Upstairs to give us a chance,and to let all these be a sign of eternal love story and not just another delusion; either that or get rid off my feelings as fast as possible.i can't stand the fact that i will subconsciously think of him every damn time my mind goes idle mode.

honestly,I love you,weirdo but this madness has got to stop.

p/s: my recent dream was that we were clasping on eachother's hand in the middle of Simple Plan's concert,and when I Can Wait Forever came,i volunteered,but Pierre Bouvier chose some other dude to go up on stage to dedicate the song to anyone in the crowd.the dude turned out to be my ex,he dedicated the song to me and asked me to get back together with him.stunned,weird just let go of his grip on my hand.the rest was history.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Top 40 Jetlagged Smiles

Cynical title? I wouldn't say that,a more appropriate way to term it is 'creative'.I have been abandoning my blog for days now so i figured an update that combines all things important in one post would be legit for now.As some of you may or may not have known,my band,Band 93 was formed during MJ Night when we collaborated for the very first time to perform a rock cover of Billie Jean as the opening act.
Band 93 is initially:
- Vocalists : Neo & Adam
- Drums : Ken Yue
- Guitars : Me
- Bass:Josh (disclaimer: he was the keyboardist for Smooth Criminal,Billie Jean keyboardist was Yuuhi)

 We then took a crazy chance of auditioning for Twisties Superstarz,our first song was Breakeven by The Script. what's fucked up? my guitar wire snapped,we weren't tight enough because we thought it wasn't really our genre.The audition took place in our uni.Nevertheless,we met a lot of amazing people,especially this dude named Oliver Liew,better known as 'Malaysian Sam Tsui'. pictures speak for themselves.He's bloody good,i can hand it to him,although his vocals are somehow a bit too high-pitched,to me it's fine and it's not as annoying as Bieber.He made it to top 6 in Lakeside! So did Neo and Adam,individually.not to forget,Dzaim's band too.let's hope they make it to top 8 overall.

We then planned ahead for our next audition,all because Nadhira did a direct 'headshot' to Mr Drummer,haha.this time,it's full-proof! or so we thought,NO MORE last minute plans or practices.we went all out,and upgraded Josh into our keyboardist.we even dragged Nadzmi into the band as our bassist (he's originally our bassist for Billie Jean).everything was so properly arranged,including our song choice "Bad Romance". We did a rock rendition,something similar to Future Idiots on youtube,except we altered most of the parts to suit our style of sound.Managed to get Josh a keyboard too.Then again,i guess we're inexperienced.judges (JD,Nadhira,Liang) didn't seem to like our performance that much.According to them,our arrangement was a bit too "English Top 40" and our showmanship was that of pub bands of which people will eventually ignore.Rephrased,we weren't tight enough :( better luck next time aight,boys? 
p/s: it was fun playing Counter Strike with the boys,and then the road trip back home cum late dinner with Josh & Neo. there was indeed a tragedy which I shall not elaborate.let's focus on the positive stuff shall we? :)

Some words of wisdom from cikgu (hell yeah he was the first judge! fucked me up real good just like a discipline teacher,HAHA):


another important shizz,needless to say if you're as big of a punk rock fan as I am,you're gonna jump at this:

 YES I KNOW RIGHT!!! now i really have something to look forward to in 2012!

 come on Tune Talk,Green Day next and i can die in peace! heheh

 this is just for laughs.enjoy! credits to Hazeem Roslan for the meme comic.

p/s/s: i need to find ways to get money.totally broke and my bank account is as good as nothing,i don't quite have full access to it despite being above the age limit.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

If Time is Money,literally.

yeah IKR,certainly something to ponder about.say,someone gets rich out of robbing some big shot,and eventually gets robbed by someone else.karma's a b with an itch,i can tell you that,then again,will it be fair for the robber to be convicted for his crime whilst his 'victim' used to be a robber himself too(who of course enjoys fruitful wealth out of robbing from someone else)? that's one scenario,what about the Robin Hood principle,steal from the rich to give to the poor?it can be said that it's ethical yet right,one with enough sense of morality would want to help someone in need,regardless of whether the needy is a relative,a friend,an acquaintance or a random stranger; then again,what if helping people means committing a crime? does this mean being law-abiding citizens have snatched away all our humanity?absolutely not,in my personal view.some may say laws are meant to be broken,but due to the norms of our society,the law is what keeps us on our feet,without it,life would be hell.houses must be sealed at all times and weak souls are no longer daring enough to walk the streets since there will be criminals running loose in every corner.sure,certain amendments are necessary so that a certain policy is considered acceptable if not as flawless as God's commandments in our Holy books; it's because we are humans who are bound to screw up at some point,then again it doesn't mean a certain law is 100% assimilation of ethics and legalization would be ideal in today's modern short, rules and moralities sit side-by-side so nothing should ever come between them.

disclaimer: topic was actually inspired by the 2011 movie "In Time",starring the hot muthachucka Justin Timberlake(as Will Salas).story revolves around the lives of people in a world where time is money,literally; only the rich ones undergo immortality whilst people-of-the-ghetto are always on the run and eventually die.

here's a clearer outline of the story:
In the not-too-distant future the aging gene has been switched off. To avoid overpopulation, time has become the currency and the way people pay for luxuries and necessities. The rich can live forever, while the rest try to negotiate for their immortality. A poor young man who comes into a fortune of time, though too late to help his mother from dying. He ends up on the run from a corrupt police force known as 'time keepers'.Written by THR Heat Vision 

A MUST watch indeed,I rate the movie 8/10. excellent theme and plotting especially for sci-fi freaks such as myself.

lol girl... he's just not THAT into you,he doesn't even look into your eyes,muehehe

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Stay Together For The Kids

The title says it all, and I know it's beyond challenging to be writing on this topic,especially considering how sensitive it can get to certain people,but somehow,the voice inside me keeps telling i should give it a shot.

What inspired me to do it is this song of Blink 182's i just discovered,it's called Stay Together For The Kids.I've heard the title before,but never have I had such bigger urge to look for it than a few days ago.Self-explanatory,it's about divorce,in case you haven't gotten what the catch is yet.It's a big word with infinite capabilities to either scar a child's emotions permanently or worse,affect their adulthood eventually.I was lucky my parents managed to resolve their arguments peacefully and ended up splitting up because of death and not divorce.I may not have first-hand experiences with it,but I do know a few unfortunate friends who do.I can tell you this,it's an ugly thing and I respect them for masking their pain with their smiles,every single day. I know how it feels like to fake your happiness,to hide that major heartache that's slowly breaking you from inside out.Its excruciating pain pierces through your every veins,so deadly and so slowly that you suffer,silently,Some of them, especially a friend of mine who lives with one of his parents, refuses to even have a single mention about his other parent who 'abandoned' him,and the worst part is I found out about it unintentionally. I asked him an innocent question and he came up with this revelation.I know how it's like to lose a parent,I lost my dad to cancer but I can tell that it's a very distinctive story compared to losing a dad or a mom due to a split-up. If death separates,you know the person's gone but the love is still there whereas if it's a marriage split-up,you know the love is no longer there and you'll feel alone no matter how many people you're surrounded with.The impact is even worse as the years go by,especially when the child is still at a tender young age.It might happen in a split second,but it will scar them for life.For some reason,I have an ability to tell whether someone's happy or otherwise,based on the way they stare into blank space.Happy people have sparkling eyes; those who hide their depression have deep eyes that seem unfocused at some points,mainly because they're trying to brush off the sadness or sometimes they over-think about their fate.Some manage to pull through while others (touch wood) without much motivation,might end up in the gutter,cutting themselves to feel real again.Everyone has problems,but split-ups are never the best solution to anything,they only make things worse.Believe you me,there are so many other ways.

50% American homes have been broken by marriage this even right?

A couple has been married for 72 years, they lived together to the age of 90++. They passed away in an accident, still holding hands. Who says true love doesn't exist?

"I see them everyday,we get along so why can't they? If this is what he wants and it's what she wants,why is there so much pain?"
Stay Together For The Kids by Blink 182

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Cats have Nine Lives,I have only Three

If only I were a cat,maybe i wouldn't be so dead inside,since I have nine lives to spare,then again,me being myself,I might end up wasting them and only have 1 left.

It's near to obvious what I meant by having only three lives to keep,it's not that I will literally be able to resurrect after every deaths,it's more to a figurative way of putting what matters the most in my life rather than my religion : Studies,Music & Love = thus, study life,music life and love's harder to maintain them all.there was a point in life where I've succeeded in all,then again the success didn't last of them is bound to fail me,and of course,resulting depression when it's a 2 out of 3 failures.

at the moment,what matter the most to me are both my study life and musical life? pfft psshh.. i don't know if it still exists,i've given up on myself ever since i discovered i have a fear of having commitments.i'm a swinger by nature and i have yet to grow out of that habit,although i do admit i'm waiting on someone who apparently has the same phobia as mine - philophobia. he's even worse as a matter of fact,he has a goddamn wall that i plan to bulldoze one day,hehe. for now,i'm not gonna try too hard,i'm just gonna wait until that so-called wall of his crumbles on his own. in the mean time,i'm just gonna spray on some graffiti on it.

i'm only gonna let go of him once he belongs to someone else,i'm never giving's something about him that makes me wanna keep holding onto whatever i have. 

study life has been going fine as usual,not as fucked up as compared with my musical life.there always seems to be a barrier of some sort that stops me from moving on from square's either the de-motivation i get from external factors, or the de-motivation i get from deep within,something like "i'm not good enough".today,thanks to my bandmates,i know that all musicians start from scratch,zero to hero concept that keeps them going regardless of the circumstances.i admit,i have more than enough rooms for improvement especially when it comes to transposing,gestures and comfortableness when performing. i have yet to master the basic fundamentals to rocking.teach me more! i wanna know :) and of course,nothing sucks more than being prevented from doing what you do me,as long as my music life doesn't interfere with the other lives,i don't see why i shouldn't keep pursuing my as a career,to be perfectly honest,is near to impossible to a Malaysian's context,due to the locals' perception regarding those individuals involved,and also the fact that we have a saturated industry where you can only survive if you stand out from the rest of the performers,otherwise,you're gonna drown. another sad fact is that even when you outshine people,there's always gonna be someone better,forcing you to keep working harder.i'm not willing to take such risks,so i have a backup plan : succeed in academics,get a proper day job and be a rocker by nightfall. as soon as my life falls into place,only then will i think about my love life.sounds like a plan? indeed.

btw i really feel like re-watching School of Rock for the third time,the kids' determination really inspired me.
"It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.." - ACDC.