Friday, May 29, 2009


Miscellaneous Emotions

here's a story,that has been kept a secret for ever so long.a story of three soulmates,once told but never again.their names were Heart,Mind and Soul.they live together in a small cottage,happily,for 16 years.they became close friends,and depend on eachother in any situation until a prince came to them one day.his name was Love.his presence changed the lives of the trio forever.they shared secrets together,but now Heart started to keep all her secrets to herself.Mind started an argument with Heart for all her actions and decisions that she made,while Soul was left neglected.In truth,the three of them had actually fallen for Love,and all of them realised that.Because of this,their lives shattered and they were no longer good friends.they no longer get along as well as they used to.they constantly fight and disagree with eachother,until one day,Heart almost drowned in the River of Despair as she was trying to run away from their house.luckily Mind was there to rescue her.Soul,by then,was having a conversation with Love.he wanted to discuss about what was going on between Soul and her close friends.just then,they were notified of Heart's situation.Soul was disappointed of herself for being too ignorant.She then wrote a letter secretly,and left it under Heart's pillow.Heart was asleep and she could hardly move.She was in pain,and she was shattering so much so that never in her life has she experienced such.the letter made them realise that they were stupid all along.Love's presence tore them apart.finally,they had a small talk with Love,and so he left,pledging to return someday when needed.he knew his presence brought them no good,that was why he left.but now,he has returned,looking more urgent.and the story continues..~

Lyrics | Faizal Tahir lyrics - Bencinta lyrics

i love him,but i hate him.
i don't miss him,i miss who i thought he was.

-bencinta kamu.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

yours,mine and ours

Rhapsody of Epiphany

today,after the exam,my thoughts went wandering.i stared at the casuarin trees outside my class,and indulged the swift breeze blowing towards my face.just then,the beauty of it vanished into thin air when a cluster of smoke appeared out of nowhere.not only did it bring that choking smell,but it spoiled the majesty of the sight.i was annoyed,totally.i wondered who could have done such harm.i used to daydream of the person i love,and imagine that we were walking together in happiness yet right now,i really think there's no use for it.there's a bigger issue to be thought of,our beloved planet earth.what has the world come to be?i am ashamed to admit being among the irresponsible humans.i used to litter,but i thought,what would happen one day if the whole world was flooded with trash?

what's left for our children to drink and admire?

is this the kind of getaway you have always dreamt of?
you might be saying,what should you give a damn about anyway?they're just a bunch of wild animals right?but think,just think,what if one day,God decides to switch our fates with them to teach us a lesson?i think it's starting to be that way..face it.

children are suffering deep one understands.their cries,their rants,are responded by ignorance.

jails are only for convicts,those who did major offence,but what is happening now?innocent people are behind bars for things they didn't even do.where is the justice?

people are dying.someday,the human race will come to an extinction.where is the love,the peace,the humanity?so much for the propagandas.we are illiterally turning into cannibals.

but what if,what if..someone takes a stand,step forward,and make a difference?why don't we all do the same?a minor breakthrough can change the world.

think about it..voice it out.protest for mankind's rights.never let greed conquer you.we are the hands that change the world.we..are MANKIND.

-what about now?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

we remain unknown

We Remain Unknown

i've been meaning to ask with everyone i meet
as if it's comforting to know you're safe
if everytime we speak of things you know that's true
and then enough to be along again
i wanted them to just know me then it's coz of me
that i am the one who gives
and yet you're the one who reduce me
a perfect play to go with it
going slow i'll wait for you
the change in me will make things right again
feel so low you ease me fine
change in time and make things right again
though i'm mad to lie and thousands said to cry
remembering are those who fought to live
no one stands alone and no one lives for sure
written as though we remain unknown
going slow i'll wait for you
the change in me will make things right again
feel so low you ease me fine
change in time and make things right again
flip me inside out for now
it's not as easy as you're told
going slow i'll wait for you
the change in me will make things right again
feel so low you ease me fine
change in time and make things right again

these are the wordings to my current favourite song 'We Remain Unknown'.it was stuck in my head while i was doing exam today,for some unknown reason.probably it's because there are so many unanswered questions in life.

-what's the cure to cancer?
-why is the world falling apart?
-what exactly happened in the bermuda triangle?
-what is the cause of the dinosaurs' extinction?
-why are all of us fighting?
-how can we save Mother Nature?
-how are we different?
-how are we connected to eachother?

take time.sit back,under the stars,on the grass,bare-footed and think.think of the answers to these questions,but keep them to yourself.take time to wonder,why can't we understand that these questions need answers but none of us are really looking for them?while we are too busy looking ahead staring the future in the eyes,why not look back at the past for once?

-remains unknown.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

fangirl and random stuff

Switch,Twist,Blend & Switch It Back

hi guys! today's been quite a hectic day for me despite the fact that i didn't have any papers papers are tomorrow,which are BM paper 1 and English Paper,at least half the class opted out Prinsip Perakaunan.some of us decided to attend a book exhibition at Dewan Jubli Intan this morn,some were excused from school but are asked to come to Stadium Muar this eve to watch a national sports event for the disabled school athletes.what about the rest of us who refused to attend both? well,we lazed around and stayed in 4.2 since the class was empty.nothing much to do but to study physics (which jemima and me only did for like 50 minutes before we started chattering away),sleep or having chats.i sat beside jemima.considering we're besties,my retention span was a bit affected due to her presence,haha.the longest i can last sinking my face into the physics book is only about 50minutes (oh wait,i think i said that already,lol).so we started talking non-stop on random topics,including quirky ones like 'what would it be like if you were a guy for one day?'

jemima's answer: my name would be Josiah Wee,and i would probably be hanging around with guys like Caleb,you know,those kind of anti-social people.i wouldn't wanna get involved in a relationship this early,so yeah..

my answer: my name would be Airil Azlee,and peobably i'd be hanging around with peole like Amaluddin,the type who's into bands and even has a band of his own.those kind of guys who speaks through their music and rants through their outfits.

this is how i picture myself to look like..:

awkward enough,since i'm a girl and i can play guitar,if i were a guy i would probably be skillfull in drums instead just like my fav drummer,Cobus Potgieter:

being a girl,i suck at being a guy,i'd be an athlete!

i would hang out with guys who actually let me be who i really am without pretending.

i would want a girl who's not afraid to show her true colours,speak her mind,be there for me and hold on to my hands no matter what happens..:

and if i were able to switch souls with any guys in the world,he would be:

i'll be somewhat quiet,shy,introvert and mysterious,but friendly and warm.i'll also be the sweetest thing on earth,hehe.

ok,back to reality.that wraps up our random topic for today.till then,gonna go study and suffer for three more days of exam.

-thrilled to attend estranged gigs on 4th and 6th june!

Sunday, May 24, 2009



i'm angry,like totally.never in a day have i been angry at so many people at a time,well not this year at least.i'm angry at three people: myself,that someone,and that another someone.

myself: for not focusing on the priorities again.
that someone: for not appreciating me for being there,not that i need it.i dun give a damn anymore.u'll value things once they're gone,so be it.
that other someone: for ignoring much for keeping in touch huh?now i can feel my respect for u is dimming pretty fast.quick,save it for the shows!

-highly flammable like liquor.

oh no

Here We Go Again

we can all be fickle-minded sometimes.i mean face it,this is the age of confusion and decisions,so don't blame me! so here's another funny thing.

here's how i contradicted myself when..

i said i hated drums while i actually love them.

i said i hated habbo while i love them.

i said i hated webcams while i love them.

and of course,said i got over him while i haven't.drummerboy loves gigs,so do i.hence,i txted him asking whether he wants to come first no,but this morning,he said probably yes.miow~ can't believe i actually smiled when i talked to him.and the smile remained even after he was gone for several minutes.i'm really fickle-minded people,that's just me.i thought i got over him months ago,but's a lie.he doesnt really have to know that i'm into him though,although sometimes it seemed a little too obvious that it is so.drums,spending hours on habbo till the break of dawn and webcam sessions on yahoo messenger,need i say more?
frankly,he's not my type,really.but there's something that made me wait for him for makes me wonder what..


In No Time
Im barely out of my mind
It’s gonna turn blue
this feeling’s made me blind
and overdue
I’ve said my silly goodbyes
I even lost you
It only signalled lies
can i please undo
to make you
and still I
because I
dont wanna push you

I fear the glow in you
have lit my shade away
Instead I found a suiting space
right for my place
Im in lay
I need rest now
In no time
It’ll be mine

I speak inside of my own
sometimes i listen
at times i think too much
and see much less
if craving meant i was scared
and longing isn’t
then why must i have cared
for both to mean

-addicted to this song by Estranged ;p

-we're all fools for love sometimes.



hey peeps! don't worry,this isnt another one of my terrible melancholic's another story i'd like to share with all of's called being addicted to music.
dang~ i'm so addicted to the five guys in the above picture.have u seen or heard of them?if u haven't,then check your wallets.are you even the resident of malaysia? XD
they're pretty much a renown indie favourite called the estranged! their music totally rocks,and i would go extra miles just to watch them live.fierce supporter indeed! there's an upcoming gig on the 4th of june,do you guys wanna come?leave me a comment and let's connect.i really need companion so badly right now.

and ehem...can't wait...

to meet enha!! lol.sorry guys,i'm too excited that's all.

damn..i'm in love with a rockstar? haha.oh well.
can't believe i'm actually skipping a school event (which is anugerah alam sekitar whtever) to attend this gig and my mom was ok with it! life gets better as i go..

till then,toodles.another week to suffer till it's time for freedom!

-the bold one.

Saturday, May 23, 2009


I'll Believe It When I See It III

I'm always searching for an entrance,a stairway or a door to your heart.I always hope for a miracle..

You always seem to know where to find me..

Whenever you do,you have no idea how much it means to me..

Sometimes i wonder,when I'm lost and trying to find you..

Are you looking for me too?

And what makes me wonder the most is what lies behind your every silence?what do you have there in your mind,love?you're a deep thinker.

You have no idea how much I love you nor have you the idea of how much tears have i shed because of you..

yet,it remains a big secret which i kept to myself.i was alone all along.

Everything was just a blind dream.Clearly,i was wrong..

Someday when you're gone,you'll be leaving me with no other choice but to just move on..

But you should know that this story has no ending..I will always be there to tell the tale in my own words and ways..

My love for you is will live on as long as I live,and as long as happiness roams the earth..even if i'm not a part of yours.

that's my love story ..

how does yours sound like?

Friday, May 22, 2009


I'll Believe It When I See It II

The first sight of you was what it takes to change my life..

Never in my whole life have i ever felt this way before about anyone.There was something about you that caught my eyes..

It made me try too hard sometimes.It took awhile..

But in the end,we finally got along pretty well.

but the worst part,it got a little carried away~

then you seem to notice it,even without me telling you about could read me like a book,eventhough how hard i tried to hide what i keep deep always know there's something wrong when i'm all different from the usual.

you always know how to put a smile on my face,turning that big frown upside down..

you were there when i need you,to listen to my every whine anytime.

you showed and told me of things i never knew of..

and that's why i will always have that space for you in my heart..

-sad no more.


Exam Fever

sorry for this yet again cheesy post to start off another regular nagging on an ordinary exam day.everything gone well,except the fact that i forgot to read the damn bio question!! that's what you get if your let your heart win,haha.i keep on trusting my instincts by assuming that i had to do all the questions while i only had to choose two! there were four,ahh..stupid me.whtever,what's the past will remain the past,not like i can twist the time right?

-into the exam blues.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


I'll Believe It When I See It

i thought finally got my mind off that damn thing called love,but disaster strikes.

i thought once he disappeared from my daydreams,it would all be over.

but he seems to appear yet again,in my dreams.well,i can't really avoid it anymore.i don't control my own feelings no matter how much i suffer from it.

xiang tao bao dan ta yi zhi chui zhe wo [trying to run away but it keeps chasing me].all the memories are too sweet to be forgotten.

wang ji bi ji de hai wo nan [forgetting is harder than remembering].indeed,even for the likes of me,the forgetful one.

when will i ever learn that some things are just not meant to be?and that we have to learn to let go,let it fly with the wind?

also,that reality is not as beautiful as what it seems to look like in your dreams?

sometimes,even the most honest of people fail to express what's long-kept in their hearts,no matter how hard they try.sometimes it makes me wonder what sort of force is strong enough to change me?

"The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said "
- Edwin McCain in his song 'I'll Be'.

-will never be.