Monday, June 28, 2010


would it be out of line if i say that I miss you?as overrated as can be,life has been nothing but hectic and intense.i've been in such a huge amount of stress lately that something happened to emotions shut down themselves last night! no,it's not a meltdown,more of a blackout.seriously,i've felt this way before but never this's a sense of being emotionless,neither feeling happy nor sad.i had a straight face the whole day,not even Jasper's retarded jokes could make me laugh.the only laughter i had was completely fake and forced out of me.i felt like a cyborg,waiting to terminate any homo sapiens that question my authority in my own life decisions,'s really weird,it must have been all the projects i'm forced to do.i hate deadlines really,they give you some sort of pressure whenever it approaches you,especially when you dislike what you have to do.this week,i had to finish up not one but TWO projects,the EST invention and the additional maths folio.the folio has been taken care of,but the invention..oh gosh..all i can say is,shopping for materials at about 4 hardware stores had already driven me up the wall,let alone doing the works! it's major torture.i don't think it's such a good idea to do a medical checkup now,considering how high my blood pressure would probably be right now.need to equalize...sigh... *deep breath*.... i'll be having long weeks and days,studying and trying to prove myself's worth a shot,what have i got to lose?so what if my exam results don't turn out as predicted,i still have my trials coming up,for that,i won't be around as much.even if i do,i'll come online after everything's been settled,by means of studying.i'll try not to depend too much on tips anymore,time has come for me to change myself.

and to my dear beloved marc anthony,i'll wait for you,i'll wait even a thousand years until you open the doors for me.i'll keep my presence a secret.

"Show me a garden that's bursting into life.. All that I am,all that I ever was,is here in you perfect eyes,that's all I can see.." - Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Porque Te Quiero

it was a normal night,when everyone would do nothing but just talk crap.i felt a sense of sudden was as though i was sitting in a crowded room,surrounded by everyone i know and love,but inside..i'm empty.i laugh,i smile,i'm amused by them all but there was a tiny hollow space in my heart,which i do not know of its origins.then all out of a sudden... you appeared.

you stood out form the crowd.i did nothing but stare at you.waiting..and waiting..while all my friends got extremely excited.they started posting messages of encouragement,pushing me to say hi to him.pushing me to make a move.pushing me to not let him be alone.i was shy,i don't know seemed better to talk to him without all these people around,no offence.i wrote a few posts to counter my friends.somehow...maybe he understood.he said hi to me and i was so delighted.but... he was different.he was less cheerful,not as joyful as he is during our thursday rendezvous.he told me how he's having sleepless nights.he told me about the emptiness he feels.he was getting a bit too personal at some points,so much so that i felt that he's trying to tell me the same time,my friends were endlessly picking on me,asking me to not let this opportunity fade away.i thought it would've been selfish of me to take advantage,i knew he was somewhat down and needed someone to talk i let my selfish needs go and decided to listen to him.i tried to help him,but i know my effort was to no avail.i diverted his attention instead,and talked about something happier.our conversation lasted for quite some time,despite the unfavourable internet connection.the IM window wasn't acting up,it was miraculous.our conversation broke off in the end when the both of us got sleepy.did i just talk him to sleep?am i really that boring? LOL.but it's good to know that he's alright after all.
what puzzles me the most is the fact that he still doesn't realize my feelings for him?or has he,pretending not to?so many uncertainties.jasper even complained that he was partly being ignored by 'him',assuming that 'he' was too busy talking to me.LOL! seriously,everyone mad eme blush a way,Nizar is right.sooner or later,the truth will have to prevail.whether i like it or not.

let's just see what thing's for sure,i love him. :)

Saturday, June 26, 2010

17 again?

i had this very theatrical dream when i was having my usual power nap this must have been all the blogging,Enrique Iglesias frenzy and whatnot.i knew nothing good would come out of it,LOL! nevertheless,i really loved my dream,even though it's nothing but surreal and a bit too .... forward-thinking.i dreamed that i was at the park in my condo,riding the swing,alone,with my mp3 playing Enrique's duet with Nadiya entitled 'Miss You'.all out of a sudden,the swing stopped abruptly,it was as if someone took hold of both the support rope to purposely pause its motion.i got pissed,it's common for me to feel that way considering how my temper can be a bit variable at i looked up,a familiar face smiled upon heart pounded so hard,i think it might have popped out of my chest for all i care.YOU! wtf are you doing in my dream?before i was able to do anything,he stared into my eyes and gave me a gentle peck on my lips.OMG! is this how a first kiss feels like?i pushed him away out of shock and ran,but then he pulled my hand and whispered to explain everything.i eventually rushed upstairs and looked in the mirror..

oh my...WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE!! WHAT YEAR IS IT?? i checked my phone,only to find that it was already 2021,which means..i'm 28 years old?and married?? i turned behind,he was at the door,curious to know whether or not it was ok for him to come in already.i let him in of course,but still,i was in the state of disbelieve.i'm married to him?and the funniest thing is,i don't look much different from how i looked when i was 17.he sat down with me on my bed and told me how i got into an accident and went through amnesia for was really awkward.when he was done with his side of the tale,i wanted to ask him whom he was,but before i could,i felt my shoulders being shook several times. mom woke me up from the dream.i ran into the bathroom to look at my reflection.i was really grateful that i was 17 again,LMAOOO...i AM 17,never was 28 anyway.not ready to be,as a matter of fact.the dream was really sweet nevertheless. this hour,i'm still wondering who was that guy in my dream?he looked familiar...but i don't know.let's just see for ourselves..

Friday, June 25, 2010

Dangerous History

hey fellers..looky2! it's June 25th,remember what is the most significant tragedy to this date?you don't?seriously?are you sure you don't live under a rock? LMAO.people come on,June 25th last year,a legend passed away.he wasn't just an ordinary legend,he DANGEROUSly made HISTORY by being such a THRILLER to the ladies,INVINCIBLE to those proclaiming him to be BAD while in truth he's nothing but a hero who made most people realise how important it is to HEAL THE WORLD regardless of whether you are BLACK OR WHITE.he was none other than the one and only....

MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON! that's my favourite photo of be honest,he looked his best during the Thriller Era,not saying that he doesn't look good during other's been a year since his sudden passing,yet my heart still aches from it.he was such an indescribable songwriter,entertainer,entrepreneur,humanitarian,singer,actor and father to his kids.i know how painful this date is to everyone who loves him,especially his adoring fans and children.but we,as loyal MJ fans,should always uphold his message of peace and love.we must no longer shed a tear,for we know that he's in a better place now,smiling down upon us,hoping that we will always sustain his legacy in our own might.

thank you Michael,for inspiring me to become a passionate musician and minor humanitarian.
are you having fun up there? :) what amuses me the most is debbie's word of comfort,stating that my dad and MJ are leading a league of angels,moonwalking down the pathway of Heaven.i know it's surreal,but i would like to think of it as that me some sort of peace of mind.

as a tribute,check out the MJ megamix on my blog mixpod! enjoy~ and MJ,i love you more and more.RIP.. i miss you.soaring up so high,watching you are forever :)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Sorry Honey It's Thursday! = S.H.I.T

what are you sorry for?as most of you may or may not know,i LOVE thursdays for a reason.for many reasons IMO.most of my favorite subjects are being taught at school on thursdays,which means spending tonnes of hours in the lab,playing scientists.PLAYING?lol.. seems like it,our experiment rarely turns out the way it should be,thus the term "playing".
also,the fact that the basketball court belongs to my friends and i on thursday evenings certainly becomes one of the major factors.i know i's awkward
and unlikely for someone as busy as i am to get more excited of thursdays rather than fridays - the supposedly exciting day that signifies how near the weekend already is.weekends don't mean much to me.i have nothing much to look forward to.other than school,i live on the internet,which sucks.none of my friends can actually be playfully injured,or thrown french fries at when they make jokes or annoying statements.everything is more fun when it's done in real life.nevertheless,i'm not whining in any way.i love my life! anyway,back to the topic..THURSDAYS... aahh.. going back to school at 3pm,and spending my 3 and a half hours there..the best part is...the secret affair and drama..

i can't believe i'm actually saying this but,sometimes,if you're too close to someone,as in the opposite sex,and spend too much time with him/her,you might just fall for him like I did.i never knew this could be any all started off in february,when the both of us,my marc anthony and i,LMAO... got close since we share the same interest.everyone who sees us will think the both of us have something going on,while it's actually otherwise,as far as i'm's been a secret of mine for months,until i decided to finally spill the beans to my friends.and now...
it has turned into a love story.gosh... help me...

i've been listening to a lot of Enrique Iglesias lately,it might be because either i'm lovesick or plainly sick of love.either way,it's a disease that i MUST overcome no matter what.

meanwhile...i'm gonna keep my lips sealed and just see what happens little 'drama' starts within minutes now,gotta go. muahx to all :)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Never Had A Dream Come True?

oh really?i've realized my dreams so many times now.i have my own guitar and have mastered a spoonful of rockstar skills,enough to save a rockstar's arse in case they need someone to fill in for them.i'm finally part of the Damansarian gang,they no longer treat me like a newbie.i'm glad to be part of the new family,not saying i've forgotten my gang back in muar and long as you have set foot in my life,your footprints will remain eternal,just like stepping on a wet cement.when it dries,the mark will still be there.but anyway,i'm not here to talk about remembrance of any sort,and do NOT remind me about my exam results,i DO NOT want to mention anything here regarding it.what i would like to emphasise now is what made me almost leaped off my chair.lately i've been a bit too obsessed with Incubus,so i figured,why not learn to play their songs on guitar?after all,it is a challenge that i have yet to fulfill considering how tough their chord arrangements and strumming patterns are.i tweeted about my progress,and i didn't realise that JD replied to it until i checked out his page today.

he asked me whether or not have i learnt any of pop shuvit's songs.i thought he was kidding around,so i jokingly said i did but i cheated a little,since i'm always asking him for hints.check out his reply! i had to re-read it like 100 times,i couldn't believe my eyes. GUEST MUSICIAN? IS HE SERIOUS?? i 'consulted' rin,and asked for her opinion,and she said she can tell that JD's being serious about it.another dream could possibly come true..performing live..with my favourite playing front of an actual audience consisting strangers and supportive's all too good to be true.i knew JD had big plans for me,he might've seen my deep passion in music,and he might wanna boost me up by giving me a platform to start off with.i do hope his other bandmates will agree,performing with Pop Shuvit,as i mentioned earlier,will be such an honor,if not soon then some time in the future perhaps.that would be one of my goals,sharing a stage with any one of my favourite bands :) a collaboration would be cool too,as in recorded tracks,EP..ANYTHING! as long as I get to work with them.

and wanna know what's my biggest goal?if Pop SHuvit wants to perform at the Grammy Awards,i would like to be Mika's guitarist in case Martin suddenly backs out.i know it's far-fetched but nothing is what Kak Jass has told me,if you want something so badly,you will get it someday sooner or later when you least expect it.

i'm gonna keep crossing my fingers and excitements,no hopes just yet.let us keep this between you (my readers) and I.

as for my Marc Anthony,i'm still counting on you :) and tomorrow,i shall come for the tutorials,so that you won't worry about me anymore.

lluvia de corazones

it rained today :D it reminded me of rin,she loves the rain so much,thus the name rainy rin,lol.

i for one,am a rain lover myself.notice how romantic it is?a tiny droplet of diamond rain could turn a mundane monday into a wonderland.i don't have any particular reasons of loving the rain,most probably because of the chilly atmosphere,kinda gives you the desire to hug and embrace someone.not to forget,the gentle downpour on your face..ahhh..the undescribable beauty of it.

but what worries me the most is marlon,has he found out about how i felt towards him?this is not good,definitely.i'm not ready to let him know,as a matter of fact,i don't want anyone to know but of course,it's impossible.once a gossip is widespread,there's nothing you can do about it.

i'm more than certain that this will affect our friendship BIG TIME! and as always,everyone confession comes with this typical question "why do you like/love me?"

i have that part prepared already..if saying you're special doesn't count,i would say...
you may not be as hot as Antonio Banderas,
nor as talented as Marc Anthony,
nor as manly as Johnny Depp,
nor as handsome as Enrique Iglesias,
but you are yourself,you have your own charms,
you shine in your own light,
no one has seen that yet except for myself,as far as I know,
it's weird because you're unaware of how much you mean to me,
now that you have known,
i'm not hoping for your heart in return,unless you yourself are willing to,
i just want you to keep it safe with you,
no i'm not mad that you've stolen it from that 'someone',
thank you for waking me up from that surreal dream,
thank you for making me realize how special you are compared to him,
and if you don't feel the same way,i hope this doesn't change anything between us,
let's make a pact to never break this friendship no matter what happens.

....because i love you that much and i will always want you to be in my life through thick or thin.

Monday, June 21, 2010

My Will

wtf what will??? haha.not guys,i'm not's just that,tomorrow,the second semester of school starts and i have to take things more seriously from tomorrow onwards.which means...i won't be around that frequently anymore,except for a matter of fact,july will be my last month of getting online before i go on strike against the internet.SPM is approaching and time waits for no one.i have been playful all year.time has come for me to be more focused and set my priorities straight.about my love story,i guess that's what's left of my joy and happiness from now on.

i will come online every now and then,but yes..i won't be as free.

have a nice day every know where to reach and peace to all.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Piece of Joy

i hate bringing up the issue of 'why does he/she have this/that and i don't?' who fucking cares,i'm happy with my life right now and i can't thank God enough for what He gave me in return of my losses.this is what made me all a flutter in the stomach :")

what more do i want? :) and sorry for the censors,i'm not ready to reveal whom he is yet,let the ones who are close to me know first.

and i don't get why they're too excited about him approving my friend request -.- it's a FRIEND REQUEST not a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.makes a big difference,lol.

i miss you less now,Marlon,knowing that tomorrow is the supposedly mundane Monday.on the brightside,i know i'm gonna have a swell of a day,being able to see you from where i sit.
i can't wait for thursday to come.i wonder what other surprises has God have in store for me.

and yes! i changed the blog song again! now it's still another one of Jennifer Chung's songs,but this time it's in a more cheerful's called "I Don't Know,Let's Sing".the lyrics somehow narrate the story of my life,ever since i met 'you' :)

here are the lyrics:

Verse 1:]
Hi! It's very, very nice to meet shoe
I mean, very nice to meet you!
Have we met before
`cuz I recall your presence in my dreams!

You say you heard a lot about me
so what is it you know exactly?
That I'm meant for you
and you were perfectly made just for me!

Looks like we get along just fine!
So why don't we just take our time
`Cuz we have that and more
and we don't know what God has in store

La la la you make me sing!
La la la you make me sing!
The oohs the ahhs the rifts everything
La la la it's so crazy!
La la la that you're here with me
And I hope that this story of ours ends happily!

[Verse 2:]
Here, it's my cellular phone number
`cuz this girl's hoping that you'll call her!
And we'll go on a date but we won't stay out late unless...

We get into deep conversation
about life and stuff like past relations
And then hours will pass and we'll work on making things last


[Verse 3:]
I don't know why we met so late
I don't know if we met too soon
I don't know!
But I know that you are here

I don't know if we're meant to be
I don't know, we'll just have to see
I don't know!
But I know, that you make me sing!


And if you do then won't you sing this song
With me?

Toy Story 3

"move over children! i've waited 11 years for Toy Story 3!!" LMAO ...indeed,unlike any other sequels,Toy Story 3 takes more than a decade to surface despite the hints that Pixar had subliminally put into their non-Toy Story products like Monsters Inc and Finding Nemo.compared to the first ever Toy Story movie,this third movie is more of a journey of emotions.

let's recap:
-in Toy Story,Buzz Lightyear appeared and stole the limelight from Woody,Andy's first favourite toy.out of envy,Woody accidentally pushed Buzz out the window.Woody has to rescue Buzz from being destroyed by the next-door toy torturer,Sid.Worst still,they have to survive being at Sid's house and make it out in time before Andy moves out so that they won't be left behind.

-in Toy Story 2,Woody is accidentally sold off to a psychotic toy collector during Andy's garage sale.he met new Jessie,Bullseye the horse and Stinky Pete.Buzz and a few other toys made a rescue plan to retrieve Woody.the situation got stickier with Stinky Pete,who prefers to be in the collector's arsenal,in the way.

-in Toy Story 3,andy has grown out of his toys and he has to make one of the toughest life decisions,whether or not he would keep them.

i won't elaborate on the ending,simply because i'll become a spoiler for doing so,haha.all i can say is,watching it will make you laugh,jump and cry.

overall,5 stars that's all i'm saying! by far,the most magnificent movies i've ever seen in my entire life!

feliz dia de los padres

Happy Father's Day to all the dads in the world especially to my dad,Allahyarham Hj Azlee bin Mansor.i'm sure you're having a lot of fun in Heaven,may God bless your have my love,eternally.thanks for bringing me into this world,thanks for being patient with me for 16 years,and thanks for all the things you have done.have a nice afterlife.i shall join you someday,may we meet again on the other side.

Not to forget,to my foster dad Hj Hamidon who is still with me,thanks for being there for my family when we're in need.

Also,Happy Father's Day to the fathers who have followed my dad's footsteps by making an abrupt escape to Heaven,Uncle Yusof and Uncle Seng know you both will always be remembered.RIP,may God bless your souls.

to my dear readers,what are you planning to do for Father's Day?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

You Won :)

did you notice that i've changed the song on my blog >>>
check out the winning video as well,it's so touching that it constricted my happy box and switched on the weepy mode.this song reminded me so much of this guy named Nick Vujicic.he is born with no arms,no legs,just a deformed left foot,as he said,that looks like a "chicken drumstick".then i heard this song by Jennifer Chung called "You Won".i guess this is how Nick felt if he ever fell for someone.

the video that i have on my blog ipod tells a story about a boy who fell for a blind girl.he goes to such great heights and breadths in order to steal her heart away and get her back on her feet.i don't usually cry for love stories except for Titanic and Edward Scissorhands,but this video is so seems so real.

here are the lyrics to the song by the way.

You Won by Jennifer Chung,guitars by Johnny Yang

I drive you crazy,
As I said that I would.
Do you still want me?
I don't see how you could.

This is the way that I've been.
This is what I have to change.
I want to be better,
Have much more to offer.
But I can't alone, so please say you'll stay.

I'll win you over.
I've never been so sure.
Take my every word.
All for you I'm for.
I'll win you over.
I'm never giving up.
And though changing takes a long time,
I'll do anything for love. (For Love)

I'm sorry, baby.
But I meant all I said.
It's just not the time now.
So you go on ahead.

This is the way that I've been.
This is what I have to change.
I want to be better,
Have much more to offer.
I'm gonna try alone, so please do not stay.

But you've won me over.
You've never been so sure.
I took your every word.
All for me, you were.
You've won me over.
Don't say you're giving up.
You knew that changing took a long time,
& would do anything for love.

You told me all these things,
For better or for worse.
I recall every single moment;
Stays with me like a curse.
You can't just take it back.
Your words were mine to keep.
Just don't forget that I'm the one you need.

You've won me over.
you've never been so sure.
I took your every word
All for me, you were.
You've won me over.
Don't say you're giving up.
You knew that changing took a long time,
said you'd do anything for love (3x)

This is the way that I've been.
There's so much I have to change.
I'm gonna be better.
Have much more to offer.
But I can't right now, so hopefully one day.

The Trio Who Touched My Heart

i've been so emotionally distressed lately,with all the ever-changing mood that i keep minute i'm happy,the next,God i found this song called Where The Lost Ones Go by sissel kyrkjebø.you might not know her,but i'm pretty sure all of you have heard the heart-sinking Titanic Suite? she's the singer behind it.i wonder why they give more credits to Celine Dion even though Sissel is the one who gave more life to the song? hmmmm..such beautiful soprano voice,one of the finest i've ever heard by far.

i have been youtube-ing a lot lately too,and only now have i the urge to discover the musical talents on should look them up.

this is Marie Digby,who started off as an ordinary girl-next-door,now on her route to stardom.

this is Jennifer Chung,a girl with such powerful should check her stuff out,she's beyond amazing!

in my next post,i'll elaborate more on the new song on this blog.i can't stop listening to it.

Friday, June 18, 2010

From 10 to 6 to 8 and Back to 10

i know how solemn and blue this blog has been lately.
this is why i thought it needed a little toning down by a couple of happy times.

so actually the day before yesterday,i don't really know how we came up with this was jerin's idea that all of us should meet up and just chill for one last time before the exam madness begins next year.

jerin and nizar came to my house (in seksyen 10).we walked on until we reached the bus stop in seksyen 9?then we rode the bus to mcD!

wtf >>>>> typically Jerin JJ. friend :D i swear he looks like Hafiz anak wayang!!~

whatsup with guys and techno gizmoes? -.-

then,after lunch, we waited for the bus to move on to seksyen 8 KD for a little gaming session.

aizat,amin,jerin,ipan,me and nizar

in the buss..ehehehe... yeah i know like wtf -.-

not particularly good at Counter Strike NOR Left 4 Dead..
(maybe because you were not around stop!)

it was still hell fun watching them play the game!

then we loitered,camwhored,ate what's left of our burgers,and then walked back home together.

i guess that's about it.LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!! :DD thanks everyone,for all the fun!

p/s: as always... WISH YOU WERE THERE! :(

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Devastation Strikes

PEKAN: Five members of a family were killed and three others badly injured in an accident between a multipurpose vehicle and a trailer lorry at Km87 of Jalan Kuantan-Segamat Thursday.

Pekan police deputy chief DSP Amran Sidek said the dead were Roland Wee Seng Hock, 56, senior assistant of a secondary school in Muar, Johor, his son Joash Wee, 23, two daughters Jasinth Wee, 18, and Jelyn Wee, 16. The other was Seng Hock's mother-in-law Lim Kim Boon, 79.

Those injured were Seng Hock's wife, Chew Chin Loi, 54, and their two other children, Jemima Wee, 17, and Josiah Wee, 13.

They have been sent to Tengku Ampuan Afzan Hospital in Kuantan for treatment.

The family, from Taman Mas Ria, Muar, was believed to have been on the way to Melaka in a Naza Ria MPV after having spent three days of the school holidays visiting a family friend in Kuantan when the accident occurred at 7.45am.

The empty trailer lorry was travelling from Segamat to Kuantan, he said, adding that the slightly injured driver had been detained.

Amran said Seng Hock, his mother-in-law and two of his children died on the spot while Jasinth died during treatment at the Muadzam Shah Hospital due to a severe head injury.

This was the second bad accident in almost a fortnight on Jalan Kuantan-Segamat. On June 7, six people were killed in an accident about 10km away from the accident spot. Bernama

i was at Mcd,enjoying my meal with nizar and the Midnight Society Gang when i got this sms from an unknown number "Mrs wee family met accident.Mr Wee,joash n grandmum n little girl passed away.mrs wee,jemima and little boy stil in hospital"

my heart stopped.i almost cried.the whole gang noticed my sudden change of was very devastating.they were all very close to me.



Jacinth Wee and Joash Wee i may not be close to the both of you,but i love you like my own elder siblings.losing both of you is indeed devastating.i have no words to say.have a nice afterlife and i am glad to have been a friend of yours.RIP.i love you.

to Jemima,be strong.i am not a girl of few words but this tragedy has left me have my heart and i will always be there for you.i love you.please,get well soon..for your mother and your brother,.

to my dear Convent friends,please comfort Jemima and use all your might to get her back on her feet.

to the rest of you,value your loved ones before it's too late..

Revival of Broken Spirit

am i really offended or was that really just me missing you too much?maybe i am annoying,which is why my friends get easily fed up with me.i get emotional too easily,over such minute causes.

sometimes i think these emotions should just drown in the sea,get blown away by the previous tornado or merely just burn and rot in hell! LMFAOPIMP.okay i'm overreacting again.

look who came to put my mood back on the line:

he rang my phone with his private number,i didn't know whom he was until he told me to meet him at the fire that was what i did,with my heart beating like hell in the midst of curiosity,fear and so many mixed emotions.what does he want from me?
i had a knife and my guitar as defence,lol..
tomy surprise it was only our homeboy Chris Daughtry..

okay i lied.i youtubed him and apparently his songs cheered me up :)

you rock Daughtry! i heart yewwwww...

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

For That Someone

On The Brightside - Never Shout Never

I met a man of 2 feet tall
This man was quite ambitious
In a world that is so vicious to us all
I said, "Hi," as he replied
He said , "Listen to these words
That i have lived by my whole life

"You're only as tall as your heart will let you be
And you're onlly as small as the world well make you seem
When the goung gets rough and you feel like you may fall
Just look on the brightside - you're roughly 6 feet tall."

I met a man of 12 feet tall
He towered like a giant
In a world that was defiant of his height
I said "Hi," as he replied
He said , "Listen to these words
That I have dreaded my whole life

"You're only as tall as your heart will let you be
And you're only as small as the world will make you seem
When the going gets rough and you feel like you may fall
Just look on the brightside - you're roughly 6 feet tall."

I am a man of 6 feet tall
Just looking for some answers
In a world that answers none of them at all
I'll say "Hi," but not reply
To the letters that you write
Because I found some peace of mind

Cause I'm only as tall as my heart will let me be
And I'm only as small as the world will make me seem
When the going gets rough and I feel like I may fall
I'll look on the brightside - I'm roughly six feet tall.

please don't feel inferior about yourself.i'm here for you at all times :)

Seventeen Forever?

"whose birthday is it today?" - Jasper,translated into English.'s "his" :) it's marlon's birthday.happy sweet 17! make a wish! if i were him,i would wish we could both be 17 forever.we both met at age 17,became close and then..might have fallen for each other the same age.

i have not the capability to banish your sorrows,or have i the strength to lift your burden at all times.i have not the psychic abilities to predict your ideal birthday gift.
but all i can give to you is my heart :)

i only have one wish,and that is to be with you someday,if not too soon then someday in the future.maybe someday you will realise it.i dedicate this song to you,on your birthday.may all your dreams come true,future chef <3

btw,thanks to andy,i'm so addicted to this band called Never Shout Never.he cheered me up by posting this song up:

thanks andy...for cheering me up.i love you like a brother i've always wanted :)

Alfatihah to Maklong

بِسْمِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيم

ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ
ٱلْعَـٰلَمِينَ * ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ * مَـٰلِكِ يَوْمِ ٱلدِّينِ
إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وَ إِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ * ٱهْدِنَا ٱلصِّرَ ٰط
ٱلْمُسْتَقِيمَ * صِرَ ٰطَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ غَيْرِ
ٱلْمَغْضُوبِ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلاَ ٱلضَّاۤلِّينَ

to mak long,may Allah bless your soul,and may you meet up with dad and remember each other by as how the both of you were like when u were alive :)'

crying gets me no where,i wish you've done alot in your life and i for one am thankful to have had an aunt as great as you.

have a nice afterlife and may we meet again in the Hereafter.

in loving memory,...from your niece,yana.

p/s: thanks for all your thoughtful condolences and for attending the funeral procession.also to those who took care of my father's "sanctuary",thank you.bless you.

Monday, June 14, 2010


i'm having a mixture of emotions..bear with me for a moment.

why the heck are you standing like a shrimp,billie joe??

and why are some people such natural born losers?shall elaborate later.


ok that's enough.

Bad.Mean.Torn Day 2

dayah,jasper,carlos and the other 2,thanks a bunch for the badminton game today!i had a blast despite that security guard trio with a conceited attitude! sorry that you guys got a bit embarrassed by's all been taken care of.sorry? :/

shall not elaborate sum it all up,today:
i had a BAD muscle injury.
those security guards are particularly nasty and MEAN..
and once again i'm TORN between having fun with my friends and wishing you were there :( i miss you! a lot..a tad lot.a fucking lot..a fucking WHOLE LOT...

today i;ve been youtube-ing a lot of marc anthony and i can't help but notice how far his songs can go in making me dance in my seat.

i joked about looking for marc anthony,pretending that he lives in my living room,sleeps on my couch and will be there to dance with me whenever i want him to.

and you know who that marc anthony is? YOU.. :)

i want to spend my lifetime loving you...
-Zorro Anthem (Tina Arena & Marc Anthony)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Through the Looking Glass 2

these made me smile..

The Pre-apocalypse.. Or So I Heard

i wanted to blog about BAD-MEAN-TORN day 2 but this evening's incident was more of my was a stormy evening,as always.the major shocker was when my mom called me to the kitchen to help her close the door.both of us froze in awe upon seeing the most unexpected phenomenon,a TORNADO! i knew there was something fishy about the stones hitting the case you're wondering,it's a minor case in my area.the tornado was small and harmless to the condo.however,there are a couple of uprooted trees across the street.pretty terrifying for first-timers like my mom and I,we didn't know what to expect.luckily it only lasted for 15minutes,causing blackouts and a few other usual things that occur in an ordinary rain storm.

i only got a glimpse of it,didn't get the chance to snap a photographic evidence.

it looks like i'm not the only one who encountered this:

remember..the world isn't getting any younger.brace yourselves and repent,before it's too late.

Saturday, June 12, 2010


as you all know,or may not be bothered to know,i had to wake up as early as 9.30am to have a friendly match with dayah,syu,muz and was fun although not everyone who claimed they would come actually came for real.but nevertheless,it was fun.i did sprain my right arm but it's quite alright,it's been dealt with :)

i discovered how particularly BAD i am at serving to my opponents.poor aniq and dayah.

i also realized that the 5 of us have had a very MEAN and somewhat sexist competition against was neck and neck.lucky for us,it was just for fun.

at the same time,i am partially TORN by the fact that all these will end very soon,just like other beautiful things we shifting to another place,although not that far away,the situation will never be the same.when school ends..sigh.i can't believe i'm saying this but as much as hell that i have to bear being in school,i have a lot more to love. the friends,the not-doing-much but homework,the no-responsibility,the teachers (unbelievably yes,they're better than asshole bosses)..and of course... him..moments with's gonna end very very soon,in July,once all the co-curricular activities are stopped to give way to our major public sucks that we have to keep hiding it from everybody.i miss him and awful lot today,that i couldn't keep my focus on the game.the pathetic 'I Wish You Were Here' thought keeps ebbing and flowing in the depths of my mysterious mind.i wish it would all go's not gonna work out.

on a more positive note,i think the gossip guys actually agreed to join our match tomorrow.that's a major relief at least for once.

all-in-all...this is my interpretation of badminton:
BAD sevice+MEAN competition+TORN mind = BAD-MEAN-TORN or better known as the game of badminton. :)

i keep playing the game you play,when will the time come for you to be in my court?

and once the ball is on my side,will you be there to catch it?

and once you're there to catch it,...

"Can I keep you?" - Casper (1995)

Friday, June 11, 2010


i must be deluded...have i showed you the song i wrote?

Secret Affair
by leanna scarlet

Hear me now,,when i call your name
Clear my doubts,and erase my pain
Hear me now,in my loneliness
For only thou can dry my tears
Hear me now,when the world is cold
I need you now,to have and hold

and when you look into my eyes,i swear i see forever
and when you whisper to my ears,i swear i hear an angel,
For only you can break me,
For only you can make me,
For only you can tame my angst,
For only you...

Hear me now,when the truth reveals
For only though,to it appeals

There's nothing left for us to hide
Now that you and me are side by side
I know this is eternity
I wonder if we're meant to be?

for marlon :)

Through the Looking Glass

i hope this explains the existence of the Midnight Society,the Gossip Guys and of course,all the overrated nicknames i've been having XDD

The Three Words vs The Three Gossip Guys

everything's a threesome now,and it's you know how much i hate the number 2 now?2 wives.. (shall not elaborate) 2 peas in a pod?2 is better than one? CRAPPO... make it 4 :DD

say hello to my gossip guys: carlos,adrian and jasper :D
i don't know how i suddenly got close to them but somehow we're all like FOUR peas in a pod instead of just two.i figured jasper and carlos empathized my luck more than ever,since all of us are experiencing the same kind of love story,one-sided and for adrian,he's just being a listener,a good one too.

i heart you,gossip guys! we shall have our sessions every night as of now.thanks for diverting my attention away from marlon :)

have i mentioned how crappo my dreams have been?1st i dreamt that Moots Shuvit is a cyborg,and then the next night i dreamt that i got married to ....

STOP... i miss him,damn..

come on best friend,i miss you a lot! can't you just understand? :( it hurts to know that i might have to jeopardize our friendship to give way to my emotions.


anyway..had fun having dinner with Rin,Mich and babah today.

i wish i could be more like arnold and less like chocolate boy.
"Chocolate boy,go to the fire station,tell them we're stuck in this tree and DON'T STOP FOR CHOCOLATES!"
Arnold Phil Shortman (Hey Arnold).