white lie?

A Spindle of Lies



is this what you call a white lie?lying to yourself,and to everyone you know and love?trying to say what you mean,but ended up saying otherwise?i've been feeling guilty of doing so.i lied to many people,including myself.why can't i just be honest?why can't i just tell it straight to your face that i still love you?and the stories about me liking other people are just a bunch of lies,and i considered it as a way for me to forget the idea of being with you.it's stupid,very stupid indeed.i've been down and have been keeping this to myself for too long.i have to let it out,if not to you then at least to someone or somewhere.
the metaphorical speech behind those lies:

1.i love drummer boy.
in truth: i don't love drummers,i love guys who make my heartbeat faster than ever.

2.i love the debate dude
in truth:i love guys who can just argue well,but end up in peace.

3.i love edward cullen
in truth: i love guys who's willing to stay up late with me,just to make my day and listen to my every whine and musings.

4.i have waited for that guy for two years.
in truth: i havent known him for long,but it felt as if i have been knowing him my entire life.we're so close,and i'm still waiting.

5.i can't get over my ex.
in truth: i can't get over the past,YOU! not my ex.

well,that's what i can recall as of now.i doubt that you'd read this,and for that,i dare to write it all down here.i wonder if this post will change everything?if you
were ever to read it that is.

missing note: gathering with besties sucked.not well-planned.bumped into tris but didn't dare to say hi coz i thought he was someone else,lol! and adah,i'm gonna miss u buddy :(

-Yana
crumbs of truth beneath loaves of lies.